This article was originally posted at Leaving Some Things Unsaid
Have you ever been annoyed with your spouse? Do they consistently do things that drive you crazy (i.e. leave the seat up, drive slow in the fast lane, etc.)? There are justifiable times when we should express ourselves to our spouse, yet there are other times when it might just be better to keep our mouths shut.
I recently read the following from the Navigating Life’s Journey blog:Harlan Miller says, “Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving three or four things a day unsaid.”
Now for my wife, I am sure this is more like seven or eight things left unsaid about me, but that is besides the point.
Here are some things to consider before you complain to your spouse about their behaviors:
1. Are they doing something wrong? Just because they are doing something different than you, does not necessarily make them wrong. Difference is not a defect.
2. Were they intentionally trying to hurt you in any way? We sometimes have a tendency to think that whenever our spouse says or does something that offends us, they did it intentionally–this is usually not the case.
3. Would complaining to your spouse about his/her behaviors cause more problems than the possible solutions it could have created?
The next time your spouse says or does something that really annoys you, stop and think before over reacting to them. Think about the consequences of your complaints. More often than not, instead of saying something, it might just be best to leave some things unsaid.