My wife brings out the worst in me
We end up in an argument and she pushes my buttons so perfectly to turn me into an animal. Once i turn into an animal, that becomes the reason we are arguing.
Example; yesterday we are in an increasingly intense argument. My 4yr old daughter is right in the middle of it all, which is terrible but not avoidable in our small space. My wife is also 8 weeks pregnant, and I want to keep her as far away from stress as i can.
So i pack my sh*t in a bag and i leave. On the way out I have her on the porch screaming at me that i am dead to her, don't come back, this is not a revolving door, etc. Meanwhile i just felt like I had to do the best thing for my family .. which sadly, was to get myself away from them.
Maybe an hour later i decide to try to go back and smooth things over. I dont want my daughter to see that this is how to handle things, I dont want my wife to think id leave her when times get tough, and I dont want to sleep in my car.
so i head back ... but the door is locked. I ring the bell, no answer. ring and ring again, nothing. Now im ringing the bell like an absolute psycho .. nothing. My landlord pops his head out, i tell him i forgot my keys and he lets me in.
Now i get upstairs but she has now taken my daughter into our bedroom and locked the door. I ask nice and calm to please open the door, nothing. repeat myself maybe 10 times, nothing. "your scaring the baby" and "just go away" is all i get. Meanwhile all i wanted was to smooth things over! Now i feel furious.
I explain to her i will be breaking the door down if she doesn't come unlock it. After repeating myself 3 times, i was a few seconds from doing it, she actually unlocked the door.
I went to hug my daughter and tell her everything will be alright ... my wife tried to stop me, saying she doesn't trust me. I took her anyway. I explained to her that sometimes mommy and daddy have arguments about something they disagree on, but its important to know they both still love each other very much. And my wife snickers at hearing that.
I am convinced she hates me. She knows exactly how to turn me into an animal, and then use that against me.
Its important to note, this argument, just like most of the others, was over something so insanely trivial and stupid ... and our tempers let it get blown into something CRAZY!!! To the point of scared children, broken doors, frightened people, and words implying a divorce.
I dont even know why im typing this, I just needed to vent. No offense but i really dont want to hear what you have to say if its just the usual "see a counselor" or "walk away when you see this happening" or "take deep breaths".
Im just venting. Im scared to lose my wife because i love her, im afraid of losing my daughter because i know thats what my wife wants, and now i have an unborn child im afraid to hurt before its born (by causing stress) and eventually ill have 2 kids to lose to this psycho.
And how ironic ... i call her a psycho, yet im the one about to bust a door down to go hug my daughter. I guess im the psycho ... but im only like this when she pulls it out of me! She knows exactly what she is doing, and what the result will be.
sorry for venting here.
Last edited by OnraSR; 03-05-2012 at 02:28 PM.