General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I've posted here before and wanted to know what everyone thought of my situation.
I am getting this vibe from my husbands best friend that he likes me. His best friend is also married. I want to do something about it (like tell my husband) but there isn't anything solid to prove that he does. Yesterday he called me to get a hold of my husband and we were talking. When we went to say good-bye (before I handed the phone to my husband) he said i love you. When I told him what he said he told me that he was used to telling his wife that when they hung up. This is the 2nd time its happened.
On one hand I want to tell my husband how he makes me feel but then i feel stupid because there isn't anything solid that makes me feel this way and we have our on share of problems I dont want to turn something into a problem just because of a vibe that may be wrong.
If I were your husband I’d most certainly want to know that my “best friend” is telling my wife that he loves her.
It‘s far better for you to tell him now so he can be calm when he’s thinking what to do about it.
I did tell him when they got off the phone. We had a small chat about it and he believes him. I guess his excuse was reasonable but i still have this feeling there's something more. I usually feel this way when I'm around him.
I did tell him when they got off the phone. We had a small chat about it and he believes him. I guess his excuse was reasonable but i still have this feeling there's something more. I usually feel this way when I'm around him.
Sorry to say but your husband is either an idiot or scared to confront his friend. The fact that his friend is making you uncomfortable should be enough for him to have a one on one conversation. Now his friend is fishing to see if you take the bait. Have you let his wife know that he's telling you he loves you?
Sorry to say but your husband is either an idiot or scared to confront his friend. The fact that his friend is making you uncomfortable should be enough for him to have a one on one conversation. Now his friend is fishing to see if you take the bait. Have you let his wife know that he's telling you he loves you?
i agree,
he is fishing alright...
and it aint for bass.
Tell your husband this man makes you nervous. If he won't stand up to his buddy and put him in his place, then he is not a man you need to remain being married to. Simple.
If your husband won't do anything, tell his friend's wife what is going on. She'll put the kabosh on it.
Tell him again that you don't want to assioate with this person because hes a womanizer if your husband dosn't suport you the he needs a wake up call.
maybe say well next time I just might flirt back with him if you don't take a stand on this . being as you don't care if guys tell me that they love me.
LoveSong, you also need to tell this guy that these type of comments are not appreciated and if ANYTHING else is EVER said again, you will certainly tell your husband!
The fact that his friend is making you uncomfortable should be enough for him to have a one on one conversation. Now his friend is fishing to see if you take the bait. Have you let his wife know that he's telling you he loves you?
No I haven't told anyone that his best friend makes me feel uncomfortable because I always think well what am i going to say "hey so and so likes me but I don't have any reason to think that but can you do something about it?" I've thought about it but It just feels like I would be accusing someone of doing something they didn't do.
I was wondering if any other guy would accept that excuse of I didn't mean to say it, thought you were my wife. My husband has known him a lot longer than me, they've been friends since they were 10, i just figured it was like him to be forgetful.
I see several of you would tell someone (his wife or my husband) I just don't want to falsely accuse someone.
__________________ The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?
OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.
I'm playing Devil's Advocate. So what if he does like you? If he's not being overt enough to outright accuse him, what is the problem? What specifically about someone liking you makes you uncomfortable?
Are you afraid he's going to rape you? Do you like him and you're afraid in a moment of weakness you'll give in to his charm?
What is it about the situation that you are afraid of?
No I haven't told anyone that his best friend makes me feel uncomfortable because I always think well what am i going to say "hey so and so likes me but I don't have any reason to think that but can you do something about it?" I've thought about it but It just feels like I would be accusing someone of doing something they didn't do.
I was wondering if any other guy would accept that excuse of I didn't mean to say it, thought you were my wife. My husband has known him a lot longer than me, they've been friends since they were 10, i just figured it was like him to be forgetful.
I see several of you would tell someone (his wife or my husband) I just don't want to falsely accuse someone.
Your not falsely accusing anyone of anything. Even if he is being innocent (I'm not buying it) he still makes you uncomfortable. This is not something you keep from your husband. Saying something or someone make you uncomfortable doesn't accuse them of anything. It's letting your husband in on your feelings. Its now his job to help correct this relationship between you three. I'm sure he'd rather you let him know than keep it to yourself and build up resentment towards him and his friend.
I'm playing Devil's Advocate. So what if he does like you? If he's not being overt enough to outright accuse him, what is the problem? What specifically about someone liking you makes you uncomfortable?
Are you afraid he's going to rape you? Do you like him and you're afraid in a moment of weakness you'll give in to his charm?
What is it about the situation that you are afraid of?
My husband can say what he feels to him but I don't want to come in between the friendship they've had so long. It normally wouldn't make me uncomfortable if someone "liked" me, i would just handle it. I would make things clear that I'm taken. But this is different, it's his best friend.
His best friend isn't the type of guy to rape someone. I'm not worried about that. I don't like him in that way either. He's an ok guy but my husbands the love of my life. No one compares to my husband in my eyes.
What am i afraid of? I don't want to be on this site later down the road talking about how badly i feel that I in anyway came between this relationship. And I know, it's up to him to be a good friend, not up to me. But if they decide to part down the line for whatever reason (not that i want them too)... I just don't want it to be over me.
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Gettin vibes from his best friend 
Re: Gettin vibes from his best friend 
