General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
My wife and I are not into it at all. Why should we jump when people say "jump"? There are 365 1/4 days in the year to be romantic. Why should we try and arrange special feelings on one particular day?
Its nice to be romantic every day !!
I guess its nice for people to be reminded to.
We dont celebrate valentines day as such, but i did give my husband a rose this morning ,and i am looking foward to going out tonight for some much needed alone time.
I think in a good marriage everyday should be Valentine's Day
People have a tendency to get too caught up in Hallmark moments and place too much value on occasions which are supposed to be special but seem to quite often cause tension because of unmet expectations.
Flowers and romantic dinners should be given because the person wants to provide them for the person they love - not because of what the calendar dictates.
You know? I went out and bought cards/candy for the kids and hubby. I always do on V-Day. The card my daughter got for her Daddy said everyday is V-Day with you. It hit me right then and there that this was b/s, lol....I should appreciate everyday with my husband. We don't go all out or anything on V-Day and probably only do the minimal because the young kids love to celebrate any holiday that brings them a little gift/or candy. I love Christmas, Thanksgiving, all the big holidays, but V-Day mostly just irritates me. You can't go out to dinner w/out a reservation, or you end up waiting for hours, all your friends call to see what you got from your husband, etc....He always gets me flowers, and cleaned the kitchen this a.m. before he went to work. I appreciated it for sure, but I still think V-Day is mostly just a pain in you know what....
Flowers and romantic dinners should be given because the person wants to provide them for the person they love - not because of what the calendar dictates.
:QUOTE=MarkTwain;40775]humpty dumpty-
We work from home, so we are together a lot. Alone and not alone. We must get on really well, or we'd be at each others throats [/QUOTE]
Thats great and your lucky ..actually very lucky
We have recently addopted my brothers children and i cant remember the last time we were alone.. so for us tonight is very much needed
I'm with you Mark Twain... We don't make a big deal of it for each other, but we do family stuff. Tonight we will have pizza and a movie in the living room (eating in the living room is a no-no!!), and we got the kids each a cheesy box of chocolates and a new book. It will be a family night for us, although we do that every couple weeks anyway. Tonight we will use pink paper plates and have a yummy sweet dessert. Something fun. It won't be long before our kids are making their own Valentine's plans!!!
my H told me he didnt get me anything. i said that was ok and gave him a card and a welsh rugby mug. i saw what i did as a token gesture of affection. yes there are 364 other days. but what the heck is a little affection on that given day.
easter , christmas , birthdays, mothers day, fathers day, valentines day - are quite commercialized. in our family we dont play by those rules. we stil buy gifts and our day is about loving eachother and the fun we have.
quite often in a relationship ppl can take that relationship for granted and we forget about special memories.
having these "special" days are a reminder that can bring special memories.
i bet the amount of women who dont recieve from their H's actually would like something as a reminder how special they are.
i went up the farm this morning and when i came home , my family were all out and in the kitchen was a card and a bunch of flowers.
i didnt expect anything, but the gesture was a reminder that i was thought of.
my H spared a thought and took time out to get me something.
in itself "the thought and time " are gifts.
JUNEBUG - but you did buy it, because you stil made the effort on valentines day. you might not make a big deal, but you stil made valentines day , how you wanted to make it and your instilling your values of valentines day to your children because you include them.
they wil follow your tradition of family values and the memories you brought from your day together.
Mark - its not about arranging special feelings on one day. but a precious memory is just that - precious and they can be given in many ways.
as i said there is 364 days of the year ,so why miss out on one day?????????? number 365. thats like every day is ok except the commercialized ones, when they dont have to be expensive.
my H would be gutted if he didnt get a card for fathers day, its his day where he is thought of on his own special day, as a father. it doesnt matter that he might not get n e thing else, but he knows he was thought of.
i found another 20 pence worth.
a thought-
ppl who have lost loved ones. these days are not so comfortable when your on your own and alone. these days become sad days whereby all you have is memories.
JUNEBUG - but you did buy it, because you stil made the effort on valentines day. you might not make a big deal, but you stil made valentines day , how you wanted to make it and your instilling your values of valentines day to your children because you include them.
they wil follow your tradition of family values and the memories you brought from your day together.
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Sorry Justean, you are absolutely right in that we do celebrate in our own way. I should have clarified, I don't buy it in the sense of just showing my love for my husband in a special way just on Valentine's Day. Or even my kids for that matter- we show them we love them all the time, I meant I don't make a big deal about it. I think you are right in that the women that have husbands that don't acknowledge it at all just may like something, any thing, a kind word or a special touch. I guess because my husband is good to me that way I don't feel the need to make that one day extra special. We show lots of love to the whole family all the time. I have a couple high-maintenance girl friends that have been going on about Valentine's Day for 2 weeks now- dinner, he better get me this, he better do that, I got a new outfit for dinner, blah, blah, blah... I guess in my mind I am comparing myself to the extreme... lol. But like I said, you are right, I guess we do special things in our own way!
My wife and I are not into it at all. Why should we jump when people say "jump"? There are 365 1/4 days in the year to be romantic. Why should we try and arrange special feelings on one particular day?
Anyone else want to chime in for or against?
Well I'd buy it if it was on offer, hubby and I have never had a valentines day together, he's away for this one as well.
Anywho I like the concept one official romantic day a year its not too much really?
my H would be gutted if he didnt get a card for fathers day, its his day where he is thought of on his own special day,
Don't even talk to me about Father's day! I had a bad one once, and decided to hell with all commercial calender dates. Mother's day is fair enough because women were downtrodden for years, but Father's day is just a marketing reaction.
I read an article on CNN about this, too. I find it a very interesting thing to go against.
The only thing we make a big fuss about in our house is birthdays. Finally after 20 years my wife knows the only thing to "buy" me is sex - and a chocolate maybe.
PS I had a great birthday last month
It's Mrs. Twain's birthday today. She's getting books and clothes. I threw some sex in free of charge this morning, so it's all sorted
I'm not buying it! 
