General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
OK, I'll come to the point... he sounds like he is sexually frustrated, but hasn't got the guts to spell it out.
I think that is the exact case in my house. Hubby wants it 3-4 times a week. I'm good with once a month. But when we were dating it was 7 times a week.
What happened to me? Well life took over. That is normal. But I do want that intimacy back.
What do you do when he is frustrated and you want to provide it but every night you are like "i'm too tired" and just go to bed. Or you feel stupid putting on something sexy because you are in the aftermath of a fight.
How do you get that ball rolling again, so to speak. Things are super tense right now so I have to clue where to start....
OK, so let's go into this... is there a difference in mood between the days when he gets it up, and the days when he doesn't? How often does he fail to get an erection?
Chikki: from a man's perspective, it could be a few things. As men get older, the drive goes down some.
Some of us guys don't have urges as much as we did when we were 18.
It could also be about the repetitiveness of the act. With lotta guys, it's fresh and exciting at first so they want it a lot. Then after hundreds of times later, going through the motions over and over, it becomes tedious. At that point, attractiveness is really about playing around with fantasies and things like that, and what turns him on about your personality.
It could also secretly be an wee-wee problem...if that makes any sense.
I just have to find ways to deal with this crap. He gets under my skin and I have to find ways to make sure I can fend off these passive aggressive attacks.
He was a loving husband until our house guest came back. His tone changed and it sounded so awful that I can't help but feel terrible afterward. I hate it when he acts that way in front of his friends because I feel defenseless.
Please, somebody help me in this crap. I need to find a good way to deal with this childish behavior because I just feel that it is destructive to our relationship.
btw, I can't talk to him about it so we can rule out that approach.
thanks for the insight I found your post to be the most helpful when addressing the sex issue. Perhaps a break from his mundane task may prove helpful. In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to go window shopping for lingerie for inspiration.
I feel for you. There is no reason for you to put up with his sarcasm. You could try asking if something is bothering him. Wait until he is at his (relatively) most relaxed, perhaps after a hot bath.
But first and foremost, if you have searched your own heart and can't find anything you are doing to create it, then out of love for yourself you should not put up with it. The moment you hear a bad tone, you should tell him off.
You sound like me in that you are tone sensitive. In other words you are primarily an audio person. If he is not an audio type he may think he is cleverly masking his annoyance by not always saying nasty things - but you of course pick up the tone, and know his disdainful mood straight away.
Re: The chronically sarcastic husband 
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