General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Well, a small update...We had a breakthrough of sorts last night. It just so happened a conversation we were having lead into talking about going out every weekend and stuff like that. In short, he said that he would rather be out with his friends enjoying himself than home alone because he said that's how he feels because we are always in opposite rooms. He says when he tries to hug me and stuff like that I don't respond and that it doesn't feel good to be rejected by your spouse. I asked if I come lay by him every night if he would stop going out and he said yes, I would never leave you if we're together.... ......
I know what he's talking about, and he has valid points...I know that over the years I've built a wall around myself and keep myself at a distance from him so that I don't get hurt, I believe I have done that all throughout my life with every guy I've been with....I'm happy that I got it out there in the open and we talked about it because now I know how he feels....I always felt that he didn't want me in the room with him, I always felt like it annoyed him when I was around him all the time...I was wrong, and I'm glad I was wrong Hopefully this problem is now solved!!!
Thanks everyone for all your input, I actually used some what you guys said in our conversation, it helped get my point across better than I usually can, I'm no good at putting what I'm really thinking into words...so thanks
His reasoning is that babysitters are too expensive to get all the time so we can go out together, and once the oldest is old enough to watch the other and herself, we can go out all the time together, and also that we need to learn how to have fun without the other
Seriously wrong thinking on the part of the man here along with the opposite of leadership. Ask him nicely to make plans to take you out (like he is supposed to be doing) and offer to help him with the budget for babysitting. I think you both might be surprise how much better you feel about each other after you follow thought with this.
Seriously wrong thinking on the part of the man here along with the opposite of leadership. Ask him nicely to make plans to take you out (like he is supposed to be doing) and offer to help him with the budget for babysitting. I think you both might be surprise how much better you feel about each other after you follow thought with this.
Yes, I don't like that excuse much....we do go out together a lot and when we do we always have so much fun...and really we don't see each other much, we do once he gets a few drinks in him and gets on the dance floor, but I don't need any alcohol to be out there LOL that's the first place I head when we get there
I posted an update this morning though that we had kinda worked through why he was going out so much and I feel comfortable that with some minor changes on my part, that I agree need to happen, things will go a lot better in that department
I posted an update this morning though that we had kinda worked through why he was going out so much and I feel comfortable that with some minor changes on my part, that I agree need to happen, things will go a lot better in that department
What's changed? What dd you guys talk about? Just curious because it seems like a quick fix for what sounded like a big problem. Maybe it was the breakthrough heart to heart you guys needed, though. I hope so.
What's changed? What dd you guys talk about? Just curious because it seems like a quick fix for what sounded like a big problem. Maybe it was the breakthrough heart to heart you guys needed, though. I hope so.
It was a heart to heart haha...I really had no idea that he was going out just to be around his friends and people that wanted to be around him because he thought I didn't want to be, that explains why every time I would ask if he was going out he would say no why do you want me to? He said if we are spending time together he's not going to go anywhere without me I just thought he didn't want me around, it turned out to kinda be a big misunderstanding on both our parts, he just never expresses his feelings about things...he's a doer not a talker I suppose...
It was a heart to heart haha... I just thought he didn't want me around, it turned out to kinda be a big misunderstanding on both our parts, he just never expresses his feelings about things...he's a doer not a talker I suppose...
I hope for your sake that this is really the case and that he isn't misleading you. Given that you posted about a secret email account and the woman from the gym, I'd say you should be careful and make sure he isn't just trying to cover his tracks or anything. Hopefully, this is all honesty and transparency, but stay vigilant (but not paranoid or jealous) anyway. My WH started being very nice to me when I confronted him about his behavior and I just rug-swept my doubts, but then when I found out there was a lot he didn't tell me, he changed his tune really quickly. Just be careful. Glad you guys had a heart to heart, though. Hopefully, it helped!
I hope for your sake that this is really the case and that he isn't misleading you. Given that you posted about a secret email account and the woman from the gym, I'd say you should be careful and make sure he isn't just trying to cover his tracks or anything. Hopefully, this is all honesty and transparency, but stay vigilant (but not paranoid or jealous) anyway. My WH started being very nice to me when I confronted him about his behavior and I just rug-swept my doubts, but then when I found out there was a lot he didn't tell me, he changed his tune really quickly. Just be careful. Glad you guys had a heart to heart, though. Hopefully, it helped!
Unfortunately, you were right...he went out again Friday night without me...said he had been cooped up in the house all week, because he's been laid off work, and he needed to get out and relax... ..........so here's to heart to hearts
So what now? What will you do? You see who he is and what he does, so what now? Talking about it isn't helping.
Nope, it's not...and right now, to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what I"m going to do....As of right now all I've really done is disconnect myself from him, again....
Will you repeat the cycle? Or just live like this...
All I know is that it will take me a few days to think about what it is I want to do or say because right now I have no words, I don't even know what I would say, I said what I needed to say Friday night, so he knows where we stand with it...
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Re: Am I Being Ridiculous???? 
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..........so here's to heart to hearts 
