Originally Posted by Know_Buddy
come on now SA.
im not judging you or anybody else.
its just my opinion.
just because im right doesnt make anyone else bad for their opinions either.
I know of a couple (a woman in my Mops group)... who waited to have their 1st kiss on their wedding day, I guess this is how high you regard the term "virgin" then? I am seriously curious of this mindset ...
Can you tell me where you get this idea of heightened purity... is it from scripture or something else ?? .... Many on this particular forum feel as you .... The Marriage Bed - Sex Intimacy for Married Christians
I was bascially spit upon with our pre-marital actions, told to repent...didn't matter that he was who I married... but we don't regret what we did...so I would be lying through my teeth anyway. As if my own Maker wouldn't know my heart.
Back to my friend from Mops... When she told us that, my mouth near hit the floor, I made a really big deal out of it, gave her alot of praise.... I thought it was pretty sweet -- but darn ...the self control !!! I couldn't fathom it if one has any kind of sex drive. I was very honest with her on the spot... I told her no way in the world could we have been THAT PURE.... Her husband was a Preachers son and that worked for them, they went on to have 3 little girls , as last I seen them... seemed really happy. They were on the same page... what it is all about.
It matters to some people. I mattered to me (back then).
I personally have mixed feelings on it... NOW... I think it is something to be proud of on the one hand ...if you are lucky enough to BE sexually compatable....
....But on the other hand ...I see it as a HUGE RISK in an upcoming marraige... what if the woman can not orgasm & this is highly highly important to her husband...(some men are like this- my husband is one of them, he is the type that would get depressed over it).... what if she can only orgasm from oral and he doesn't like it, what if he feels oral should be performed & she hates it , makes her gag, is repulsed....(happens all the time)...... what if she finds out she doesn't like sex ? I pity the husband!
I think it is a nice thing but I also feel it can invite many problems at the same time..... unforseen. It is a tough call. BUt I don't think we should have sex casually ....ever.