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Old 03-17-2012, 07:08 AM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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Originally Posted by Know_Buddy View Post
i agree with you.
all i did was answer the basic question asked by the OP.
that is my opinion that going farther than kissing is to me pushing it over the 'virgin' point.

i also do think it can cause potential problems waiting for marriage to have sex. i think people should know if they are sexually compatible, it is too important an issue to gamble with i think.
Ok, I get what you are saying now.... I do.... it doesn't even mean that YOU or your wife was THIS pure.... just that you view the term as "untouched" in every single way. I guess one could call those of us who fooled around pleasurably - but waited for intercourse as Dirty and Tainted.
I struggled my whole youth feeling like God was judging me anyway, so very true... I WAS dirty minded & I wanted nothing more than to get a little "dirty" with my boyfriend.

But I still feel like I sacrificed something during dating... given we waited for him to "enter" me, it was a HUGE struggle at first, I remember thinking ... "Oh my God, how are we not going to do this?!@#$%".....but I had my boundary in the sand...that was as pure as I could handle it ... and he respected that boundary. ....Maybe it was stupid even, but we felt Good for what we held back (I would have had a mountain of Guilt /shame otherwise)..... given that sacrifice, we still wore White on our wedding day and didn't feel like hypocrites.

But hey, that is just MY opionion... from a Tainted virgin. I wouldn't have had any desire what so ever to be as PURE as those who are untouched anyway. God Bless them, it wasn't for me! I feel it would have sucked all of the enjoyment & romance out of our dating years & we both would have been utterly frustrated....might have even jumped into marriage too soon just so we could touch each other.

My oldest is 21, a Worship Leader--his desire is to go on to be a Youth Pastor... he is still a Virgin.. He has not been intimate in any way, he has no trouble getting girls, his roommates tell me they swarm around him, I see it when he has big parties at our house.....but he is very very choosey, He does not believe in having sex before marraige, he feels it is morally wrong...

Most Moms are worried their sons are going to knock someone up, I am worried mine is going to marry a low drive virgin & suffer in his marriage. I feel we NEED to have some experimentation while dating, I see much wisdom in that....even if my son disagress with me.
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Old 03-17-2012, 10:37 AM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

LOL
Tainted virgin, love it.

No, me and exw were not virgins when we married.

As for wearing white on your wedding day, i think people should wear what they want, virgins or wh@res or anything in between.
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Old 03-17-2012, 03:12 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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LOL
Tainted virgin, love it.
Well do you think that is a fair assesment? honest?

With this little exchange... my mind has forever been changed here. Yep, I am tainted.....If I ever refer to myself as a virgin in my youth again (which happens from time to time)... I will now add dirty and/or tainted in front of the term ....even if /when I go to a Christian forum, that ought to be fun.

And still about it all.
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Old 03-17-2012, 03:46 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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organickly saying: you are,
but emotionally, spiritually saying: you are not
I get where you're coming from.
This could also be applied to male "virgins," guys that do "nearly everything...but."
Yes, they're "technical" virgins...
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Old 03-17-2012, 03:54 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Yes, dear, you were a virgin....

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Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous View Post
Ok, I get what you are saying now.... I do.... it doesn't even mean that YOU or your wife was THIS pure.... just that you view the term as "untouched" in every single way. I guess one could call those of us who fooled around pleasurably - but waited for intercourse as Dirty and Tainted.
I struggled my whole youth feeling like God was judging me anyway, so very true... I WAS dirty minded & I wanted nothing more than to get a little "dirty" with my boyfriend.

But I still feel like I sacrificed something during dating... given we waited for him to "enter" me, it was a HUGE struggle at first, I remember thinking ... "Oh my God, how are we not going to do this?!@#$%".....but I had my boundary in the sand...that was as pure as I could handle it ... and he respected that boundary. ....Maybe it was stupid even, but we felt Good for what we held back (I would have had a mountain of Guilt /shame otherwise)..... given that sacrifice, we still wore White on our wedding day and didn't feel like hypocrites.
FWIW, I think you were a virgin.
It's hard for many to live sexually responsible, yet you tried, despite the other stuff, and I know you meant well in your heart.

Know many Christian women do more before marriage.... so you did well...

EDITED IN:
If you and I met and dated in our early-mid 20s, I wouldn't have any problem with your "experience," though I wanted "a godly, Christian virgin woman...."
Now realize a woman can be the first two without being the third....

Even if you weren't a virgin, wouldn't have been a real problem, unless you'd had a lot of sex with a lot of different guys.
At that age, it'd really be my "problem" anyway....

Last edited by Clarence Rutherford; 03-18-2012 at 08:16 AM.
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Old 03-18-2012, 03:54 AM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

Is very old style to wait the marriage day without sex, you must do with many partners sex without penetration...is for your good health and beauty!
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Old 08-21-2013, 10:11 AM   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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Ok, I get what you are saying now.... I do....

it doesn't even mean that YOU or your wife was THIS pure.... just that you view the term as "untouched" in every single way. I guess one could call those of us who fooled around pleasurably - but waited for intercourse as Dirty and Tainted.

I struggled my whole youth feeling like God was judging me anyway, so very true... I WAS dirty minded & I wanted nothing more than to get a little "dirty" with my boyfriend.
Hey, I have no issue with that.
I wouldn't "think less" of a Christian girl who'd done that.

I couldn't because I'd done that kind of thing with some Christian virgins too.

Only thing is, now I wish I'd gone farther, made my moves & just went in...
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Old 08-21-2013, 10:12 AM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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Is very old style to wait the marriage day without sex, you must do with many partners sex without penetration...is for your good health and beauty!
Yes, I did a lot of "everything...but"... heavy amounts of mutual oral and thrusting until...
Of course, I wanted the penetration.
I now wish I'd moved it in that direction.

By that stage, I can't see how a Christian woman would necessarily think it's "wrong," given all we'd done up to that point..
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Old 08-21-2013, 10:17 AM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

Yes, you are a virgin.

I also think you should come clean about what you have done if it matters to him. This isn't something that he should find out about down the road. Lying by omission is a bad way to start a marriage.
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:08 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

Well, this is an old thread.

But as it is here, readers might like to know the French have a concept called a 'demi-vierge' or half-virgin.

Don't know what you have to do to qualify.
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:19 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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So if I kissed your brain we'd be having sex??
This would make you a very bad neurosurgeon or a necrophiliac... those would be the only options for you to have physical access to my brain.

Just saying.
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:40 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

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So if I kissed your brain we'd be having sex??
no, I think the medical term is a "Lickbotomy"
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Old 08-21-2013, 01:05 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

I think "sexual compatibility" is something worked at the same as any aspect of relationships. Any two humans can develop great sexual prowess with each other through communication, LOVE, experimenting,(with each other), trust, and simply putting time into it! After all practice makes perfect!
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:15 AM   #44 (permalink)
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Until the actual hymen is broken through on a woman then you are still a virgin 100%.
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:20 AM   #45 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am i virgin ? pls let me know

Technically you are a virgin. If a man hasn't used his penis inside your vagina and broken your hymen (google it) - you're a virgin. Even if a man penetrates you and somehow doesn't break your hymen, you would still be a virgin. but this would be pretty impossible unless he had a very tiny penis, say a Thai guy or something.
Physically your hymen should still then be in place (you will know this, it's fairly obvious when this 'breaks'). If you have used other means of penetration to satisfy yourself, fingers, vibrator etc then physically you will not show signs of being a virgin. Sometimes it can break of it's own accord, heavy periods, sport etc so even that is not important.
Point is if you tell your new man you are a virgin and you have penetrative sex, he will feel the hymen if it is there and it will break during intercourse. And it will be clear you are a virgin. if the hymen isn't there and it bothers him enough to dispute if you are a virgin you may have to be clued up to explain that you do satisfy yourself or you do sport etc. But unless he's a prat, 'you said you were a virgin, you liar!' then i don't think it will be an issue.

My point is, i raise this just so you are aware of it. But I don't think you should worry.
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