03-15-2012, 08:17 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
| | Re: Success of marriage counseling?
Originally Posted by waynenewton
I am just curious if anybody on here has, or knows anybody who has, gone through marriage counseling. Can you please give me both the pros and cons as well as what to expect? My wife and I are beginning counseling next week (business travel this week) in an effort to save our marriage. My emotions are all over the place right now. Sad because of what we’re going through, excited to start this journey together, but also nervous about what the possible outcome could be. We have some friend who did marriage counseling and actually quit because they said it wasn’t helping their marriage, only making it worse. Years later they are still married, very happily, with a wonderful three year old son.
All depends on the counselor. One problem I have is that a COUPLE'S counselor has an inherent conflict of interest built into the deal, he/she is trying to counsel both of you, when sometimes ONE of you is the bigger problem.
My wife used the counselor to "prove me flawed" and when that didn't work she stopped going. I continued seeing the counselor but since she is serving both of us she really could not do either much good (in this case).
It's like a lawyer can't represent both parties in a divorce it is a conflict of interest.
If you could afford it do both - therapist for you, couples counselor for both of you.