Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Like Tree8Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-19-2012, 08:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: At the Beach
Posts: 7
Angry Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

My wife and I have have had some issues the past two years. I know I have not been the model husband to her during this time but I have never done anything like showing my self to another person.

One morning I woke up and found her sleeping in my recliner in my man cave with the music on her Iphone. I went to shut it off and found a text from a man that I never heard of on the front. It stated are you still up. I was able to get into her phone and found about 4 pictures of him showing himself to her and her reciprocating. When I dug deeper into her phone there were about 25 pictures that she had taken of herself in outfits and lingerie that I had bought her. There was about 150 text from that night. I went to my online account and looked and there were over 1000 texts and pictures sent back and forth.

We have spoke about it and I am able to forgive her I think. There are issues that I have with this that I am not able to get past. There are also more issue with this. Does anybody have any suggestions? Thanks for any help that may be offered.
Beachman is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-19-2012, 11:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Hope1964's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Alberta
Posts: 6,688
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Head on over to the coping with infidelity forum and do a bunch of reading. I highly doubt she stopped at just sexting.

Cheating is whatever the two of you agreed on in your relationship. If you told her it was ok to send naked pics of herself to other men, then she didn't cheat. Obviously that isn't the case.

Here's a couple of links to get you started compliments of Almost Recovered. Many of the regulars over in CWI have good links in their signatures too.

Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this

Stickies for common themes in coping with infidelity
__________________
Our R

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy ~ Bob Hope
You only lose what you cling to.
Hope1964 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2012, 11:15 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Almostrecovered's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: SEPA
Posts: 8,256
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

put it this way, if you were doing that instead of her, do you think she would not call it cheating?

follow Hope's advice and follow our links and start reading in the CWI section, you're in for a pretty long stretch of stress
__________________
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Newbies please read this
My story
Almostrecovered is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2012, 11:15 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
bandit.45's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 9,597
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

She is having an emotional affair at the very least.

Call the cell phone company and have her phone turned off if you are the one paying for it.
bandit.45 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2012, 03:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
In_The_Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,058
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Hi Beachman sorry you are here I would define cheating as going outside of my marriage and seeking comfort in others rather emotional or physical excluding relatives, kids etc. that is how both my spouse and I would define it as others have mentioned if you and your spouse have defined it differently then you would need to maybe redefine if it is causing you issues or problems

Good Luck
In_The_Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2012, 03:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 79
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

You have a chance to stop this, it must be stopped, if it goes further, then its over, surely, very difficult to go back, its starting as an emotional affair, but can go forward very fast. Whats her reason behind this?? Financial, emotional? or no sexual relationship? Talk to her about it, maybe she feels that excites you or something??
Gooch78 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2012, 03:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Kurosity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 631
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Cheating all the way. IMO, 1000 of text and pictures swapt sounds like a relationship to me. (same thing happened for me my H has sent and recived pictures)

If you did that would she see it as cheating? WHo is this guy and how did they meet? Is texting their only form of communtication? Start digging there is so much more there has to be.
Kurosity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 03:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: At the Beach
Posts: 7
Unhappy Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Thanks for all the help. I had a hunch tonight based on the time she came home and deciding to go for a walk at 11 tonight that something was up. I checked the verizon records and there were two more texts to him. When I confronted her she gave me a hard time about it and then even a harder time reading them. Damn Iphone locks. She said she had to apologize to him. Apologize to him? I dont get it. After looking at them on her phone she was not lying to me. She said it was the right thing to do. Well we are at point now worse than we were 24 hours ago and everthing being my fault. I accepted part of the blame due to my lack of communication over the years but now I'm not. I have alot of reading to do to get my head on straight. Off to work now with no sleep, should make for an interesting day. I have a lot to do on my end.
Beachman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 03:20 AM   #9 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: At the Beach
Posts: 7
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurosity View Post
Cheating all the way. IMO, 1000 of text and pictures swapt sounds like a relationship to me. (same thing happened for me my H has sent and recived pictures)

If you did that would she see it as cheating? WHo is this guy and how did they meet? Is texting their only form of communtication? Start digging there is so much more there has to be.
Based on everything I could find and stories from what I have heard on the night they met yes.
Beachman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 03:29 AM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 1,271
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Don't let her convince you that this is your fault.
johnnycomelately is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 07:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,907
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnnycomelately View Post
Don't let her convince you that this is your fault.
Absolutely correct! NONE of her cheating is YOUR fault!!!!!

She is to blame for her ruthless actions. If there was a problem with you before hand, she and you could of worked to fix it.
I'mInLoveWithMyHubby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 07:56 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Toffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 2,776
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

She is 100% responsible for the cheating.

You can only be held responsible for some of the problems in the marriage itself
Toffer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 08:04 AM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Jellybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 19,206
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Yes, it's cheating.

Suggestion: she ends all contact with him compltely and forever.

Who is this guy? Do you know him? If he's married, tell his wife. Without your wife knowing beforehand.
__________________
Exposure Letter

Letter to OM/OW
Jellybeans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 11:05 AM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Kurosity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 631
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Yeah it is not your fault because no one can "make" another person cheat it is a choice and one made for selfish reasons.

Are you two talking this out? Has she disclosed everything?
I would advise that there be NC and block his number.


I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I lost my mind when my H did a very simular thing. Hurt like hell.
Kurosity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2012, 10:26 PM   #15 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: At the Beach
Posts: 7
Default Re: Caught Wife Sexting, is it cheating?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
Yes, it's cheating.

Suggestion: she ends all contact with him compltely and forever.

Who is this guy? Do you know him? If he's married, tell his wife. Without your wife knowing beforehand.
He is not married just some one who was working for a band when she had a girls night out. After doing some further research Thanks verizon!!! They started texting on the first night they met. There was two texts at 1:00 and two more at 4:00 something tells me that they have met up or something. Will be calling her out on this tomorrow.
Beachman is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
sexting

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
caught wife sexting anotherfakename Coping with Infidelity 35 10-03-2013 07:12 PM
Caught wife sexting back in April phoonie Coping with Infidelity 42 07-28-2012 08:51 AM
Caught my husband sexting beni14 Coping with Infidelity 12 07-12-2012 04:23 AM
caught my wife sexting on facebook supermad30 Coping with Infidelity 45 05-13-2012 04:48 PM
Husband Caught Sexting Ex sourgrapes45 Coping with Infidelity 1 05-18-2011 08:40 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:20 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage