being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »General Relationship Discussion » being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Like Tree7Likes
  • 1 Post By ArabianKnight
  • 1 Post By Jellybeans
  • 3 Post By shy_guy
  • 1 Post By waiwera
  • 1 Post By desert-rose

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 03-19-2012, 01:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 78
Red face being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

if someone asks me if you love your wife, I will think and look deep and find empty deep room in my heart, being married to her may be was for lust not love. I dont recall I tasted being in love in my life. feeling toward wife may be like I'm used being with her, and treat her with respect, like roommate with benefits. i belive we tried dating it felt nice but not love like a love that a someone would imagine in his day dreams or in his dreams. and I believe she feel the same way toward me. we have extremely different thinking, we dont complete each others we have the same negatives. may be I didnt know what i needed in a wife, my concetration was about her look. now i feel I want her to be strong dependent woman in a good way.

what is love? how do you feel love or taste love?
ArabianKnight is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-19-2012, 01:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Jellybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 19,383
Default Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

Why did you marry her if you weren't in love with her?
Posted via Mobile Device
Jellybeans is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-19-2012, 02:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 78
Default Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

I'm not sure, it was long distance relation seeing each others three times a year, and talk on phone everyday for hours. she changed or i should say the true person in her is out ( the true person is not an evil person but a person that I didnt expect)
she always showed me that she is hard working, independent, educationed woman, all that was not true, she is a very dependent person, cant be responsible, careless, have no plans.
she cant make or decided anything, she goes by her feeling, therefore every two days she has different plan.

we got married, I worked two jobs while she stay home she got pregnant first year because she wanted too, then too late to backup. everything am doing in my life now is for my kids
ArabianKnight is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-19-2012, 06:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 24
Default Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

day after day...
I passed with you...
In joy in grief...
In pursuing God blessing...

Educated sons and daugters...
As a sky mandate...
To be good human...

Arabian knight: Thats why i love my wife with four children.
emotion love just for first year after marriage ceremonial, Others are fighting for day after day.
bangun is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-19-2012, 07:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
shy_guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: 대한민국 부산
Posts: 2,490
Default Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

Love is a choice. It is something you decide to do. Emotions ebb and flow throughout a relationship. Feelings don't tell you whether or not you love. When you decide you will love someone, and you set your mind to caring for that person's needs, you love that person.

The heart follows, but the heart is fickle. If you give your heart a place to be happy, it will generally be happy. But you can't trust feelings to tell you whether or not you love.
shy_guy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-19-2012, 08:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
waiwera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,506
Default Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

That dating period is so very important...so much more so than many people realise i believe.

You need to really really know this is someone you can love and cherish for 'as long as you both shall live'.
You need to know you share beliefs/morals/thoughts on everything from sexual needs/wants to religion, child raising, etc...

Part of the loving feeling I have for my man is that I know I dont want to live without him. I know i COULD (if I had to) but I choose to be with him. To give myself to him and to 'do' for him because i i love him with my all and I choose to... because he's the best person for me.
waiwera is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-19-2012, 10:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 398
Default Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

The transition between long distance and cohabitation is really tough. It takes a long time to work itself out. Don't give up.

shy-guy has some great points here. Love is a choice and marriage is a partnership. The wild romance of dating isn't going to characterize a life-long commitment and partnerships. That excitement and passion will come and go.

Learn how to compromise and get to know each other with more depth and your love will grow, too.
desert-rose is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What if you hate the person you're supposed to love? blue_rubina Considering Divorce or Separation 6 05-10-2012 12:39 AM
how can someone do this to another person? circasurvive Going Through Divorce or Separation 4 09-20-2010 02:16 PM
If you fell in love with the perfect person gaddes General Relationship Discussion 7 12-19-2008 01:04 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:59 PM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage