being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 01:33 PM Thread Starter
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Red face being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

if someone asks me if you love your wife, I will think and look deep and find empty deep room in my heart, being married to her may be was for lust not love. I dont recall I tasted being in love in my life. feeling toward wife may be like I'm used being with her, and treat her with respect, like roommate with benefits. i belive we tried dating it felt nice but not love like a love that a someone would imagine in his day dreams or in his dreams. and I believe she feel the same way toward me. we have extremely different thinking, we dont complete each others we have the same negatives. may be I didnt know what i needed in a wife, my concetration was about her look. now i feel I want her to be strong dependent woman in a good way.

what is love? how do you feel love or taste love?

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 01:37 PM
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Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

Why did you marry her if you weren't in love with her?
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 02:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

I'm not sure, it was long distance relation seeing each others three times a year, and talk on phone everyday for hours. she changed or i should say the true person in her is out ( the true person is not an evil person but a person that I didnt expect)
she always showed me that she is hard working, independent, educationed woman, all that was not true, she is a very dependent person, cant be responsible, careless, have no plans.
she cant make or decided anything, she goes by her feeling, therefore every two days she has different plan.

we got married, I worked two jobs while she stay home she got pregnant first year because she wanted too, then too late to backup. everything am doing in my life now is for my kids
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 06:56 PM
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Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

day after day...
I passed with you...
In joy in grief...
In pursuing God blessing...

Educated sons and daugters...
As a sky mandate...
To be good human...

Arabian knight: Thats why i love my wife with four children.
emotion love just for first year after marriage ceremonial, Others are fighting for day after day.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 07:01 PM
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Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

Love is a choice. It is something you decide to do. Emotions ebb and flow throughout a relationship. Feelings don't tell you whether or not you love. When you decide you will love someone, and you set your mind to caring for that person's needs, you love that person.

The heart follows, but the heart is fickle. If you give your heart a place to be happy, it will generally be happy. But you can't trust feelings to tell you whether or not you love.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 08:16 PM
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Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

That dating period is so very much more so than many people realise i believe.

You need to really really know this is someone you can love and cherish for 'as long as you both shall live'.
You need to know you share beliefs/morals/thoughts on everything from sexual needs/wants to religion, child raising, etc...

Part of the loving feeling I have for my man is that I know I dont want to live without him. I know i COULD (if I had to) but I choose to be with him. To give myself to him and to 'do' for him because i i love him with my all and I choose to... because he's the best person for me.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 10:03 PM
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Re: being in LOVE vs Being used to be with ur person

The transition between long distance and cohabitation is really tough. It takes a long time to work itself out. Don't give up.

shy-guy has some great points here. Love is a choice and marriage is a partnership. The wild romance of dating isn't going to characterize a life-long commitment and partnerships. That excitement and passion will come and go.

Learn how to compromise and get to know each other with more depth and your love will grow, too.
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