badgerfly

My wife and I have been married for 12 years. things have been better but we have been happy.

a few days back she told me that she has a friend( that she met 2 weeks ago) she has been communicating with and wants to meet again and further there friendship.

I was very shocked and hurt and did not handle the initial conversation well. During my look around I found both Texts and Emails that were deleted and kept from me

She maintains that she is not cheating, Loves me and has no bad intentions. But under no circumstances is willing to stop this relationship.

I am trying really hard to be understanding and not become controlling, but this is very hard for me to deal with...I am hoping that advise from this will help me through.

Chris Taylor

Assume you are talking about a guy?

Toffer

WARNING WILL ROBINSON WARNING (Lost in Space reference)

Lady is right. She's working on something. I'd ask her how she'd feel if the tables were turned.

You also might want to read up in the Coping with Infidelity forum for some pointers on investigating.

Do you have access to your cell phone account? Look up the number of texts/calls to this guy in the past two weeks to see if theres alot. I'm willing to bet there is!

badgerfly

Sorry Yes Guy Friend. And I am not super worried about email comment she says she was afraid I wouldnt handle it well so she hid it form me.

I didnt think I was a jealous person. But this had never tested me before.... I want to trust her but I have had this horrible knot in my gut for 3 days....

badgerfly

Sorry but heres another twist that I forgot to mention


She claims the reason she wants to persue him is that they had a spritual connection and she now feels more alive. and that this will help our marriage

I will add that the past week or so our sex life has been through the roof???

381917

Oh my gosh. No wonder your gut has been in a knot. Tell her that she needs to be having spiritual connections with you. No other man should be making her feel more alive unless he happens to be her doctor, and she feels more alive as the result of medication he has prescribed. Stand up and put your foot down. Tell her she can either cut ties with him or you will cut ties with her. And be prepared do it if she calls your bluff.

67flh

probable your sex is thru the roof, cause of her guilt eating at her. your going to have to stop this asap.telling you she erased her texts cause you wouldn't understand is pure b.s. they were sex texts...here she is basically telling you that she don't give a damn about your feelings...if she goes, i would follow her and put her clothes in her car, after you embaresse her in public of course.

381917

How did she meet him?

badgerfly

They met at work on a temp Job. they worked together for 3 days. She has been open with me since she told me....she said he was such a joy to be around. and is not willing to throw away a good friendship over my petty jealousy>

???? I don't know what to do>>>>

Halien

So, he makes your wife's sex drive go through the roof, and she thinks that this should be okay with you? Would she be okay if one of her friends made your sex drive go through the roof?

Halien

Well, apparently she is willing to throw away a good marriage over a petty friendship. You shouldn't feel guilty for demanding an end to it if this "friend" is affecting her sex drive at all.

bandit.45

Tell her to drop the friend or pack her bags and go be with him.

Your wife is having or is working up to having an affair.
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381917

This is what you should do. Tell her that you will not stay married to a woman who puts any friendship before her marriage. Tell her to decide if she wants to stay married to you or maintain contact with this other man. She can't have both. And she needs to decide immediately. If she picks marriage, she needs to send a no contact letter to him. Don't waver, do not let her call you petty/crazy/controlling/etc. If she picks her 'friendship,' start carrying her belongings out to her vehicle. Tell her to let you know where to send what won't fit in her vehicle, because you will have movers bring it to her next weekend.

67flh

or you could when she goes on the date, just get some girl to go out with you! gee--honey, you wouldn't believe the levels we connect on. dose of her own medicine

Toffer

where is this as*hole now? Please tell me he doesn't live near you!

Can you account for all her time in the last few weeks?

Tme to go into investigative mode and follow everyone else's advice here and nip this in the bud or tell her to walk!

Any kids?