my advice while u might like the sound of it now it can cause problems later on, ive been in this situation and my advice to any1 would be dont even go there.
Some can handle it some like to think they can but its a whole lot different when u know facts. u may feel jealous that she did things she now wont with you and it can cause feelings of rejection, why wont she with me am i not all that, and its not a nice thing plus you may even use it to throw in her face. if you dont get the full facts your mind can play games with and images and videos aint nice at all.
Plain and simple STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.
I see your point but the taboo nature of it is part of the attraction of it for me. Let me address some of the concerns:
1. what if she had larger penises that mine?
No problem. I know she has had. I don't have the biggest penis in the world. I also know that she likes big penises. She's also had sex with guys with bigger biceps, whiter teeth, nicer hair, etc. so what? it's the whole package...if you look at individual parts you can always find a nicer (fill in the blank) in others.
2. what if she did things that she refuses to do with me?
not sure about this one. She has had experiences that she has never had with me (sex in various places, etc) but there is no whole 'category' of sex (e.g. oral, anal, etc) that she has had with others and not me. If this were the case I'm sure we could talk about it to understand why. You can't do EVERYTHING with your spouse that they did in the past. That's just life. No problem for me.
3. what if other guys did her better?
hmmm. this is a common fear that people have whether they know their wife's history or not. Some people may like to live life thinking that they were the best their spouse has ever had and don't want to know any realities that might challenge this. This might work for some but not for me. Like in #1, some aspects of it might have been 'better' with other guys (bigger d*ck, special tricks, etc). If, as a man, you try your best with sex, focus on it and are truly into your wife, how can another man just always be 'better'. Anyway, I can accept that sex with different people is always somewhat DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT does not equal BETTER. But sex during horny younger years is, in some ways better but in many other ways not as good.
4. What if you hear some things that upset you or give you painful 'mind movies'?
Well there are always those things that give you some shivers but hey, we are adults and we should be able to deal with it. However, if you have an image of your spouse that would be ruined by something that you hear then sharing sexual stories is probably not for you. She's done some things that she knows were risky and stupid (as most people have) and that seem out of character to the woman I know. But I don't have a virginal image of her that is ruined by these things. Knowing these things does not change how I view her or what I think of her. She did these things and that's just part of her sexuality. When i heard things that were out of character for her, I was surprised and intrigued by them and understanding this stuff made me feel that I know her better. Hearing some of the things was intense and emotional and we felt a much closer level of intimacy because of it. So learning something about your spouse that surprises you after knowing them for so many years can be exciting and can keep your relationship interesting.
Women commonly share things with their friends anyway. Why? Because many people like talking about sex. So I don't understand why the topic should be off limits with a spouse.