Intrigued by wife's sexual history
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Old 03-22-2012, 06:11 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Intrigued by wife's sexual history

My wife has had what I consider a pretty normal sex life before we met...some boyfriends she had sex with and some guys that were just short flings and also some one night stands.

I find myself intrigued, if not somewhat fascinated, by her sexual past. I think about her as an attractive young woman living a carefree sex life, taking some risks and having fun. But we've been in a relationship for so long that the picture of her with other guys seems so remote and therefore intriguing. She's also beyond these years, responsible now, and the importance of sex is much lower. So it's exciting to think of her being so carefree and sexual.

I'm not a cuckold as I'm not excited by any humiliation element of her with other guys.

I think it's not so uncommon for men to fantasize about sexual young women so is it wrong to fantasize about your wife being sexual, even if it is with other guys? I love to hear her sex stories when she cares to treat me to them.

I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Intrigued by wife's sexual history

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I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?
If it is going to turn you on, talk about it -sounds like she is willing...go for it ! Sounds like that is the case here....but that is generally not the norm...from many many stories here.

People seem to enjoy sharing fantasies more than the details of their past sex lives.
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'm with Dean fantasies are one thing details are another. I know I've overshared (I was young and stupid) and if I could go back I wouldn't have said a word. Some of my escapades were done while drunk like that had any real meaning. But he sees it differently and I get that NOW.

Been married 20 years and other than the number of partners I know NOTHING of my husband's past and have no desire to know. He's not a kiss and tell kinda guy.
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Old 03-23-2012, 04:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Intrigued by wife's sexual history

my advice while u might like the sound of it now it can cause problems later on, ive been in this situation and my advice to any1 would be dont even go there.

Some can handle it some like to think they can but its a whole lot different when u know facts. u may feel jealous that she did things she now wont with you and it can cause feelings of rejection, why wont she with me am i not all that, and its not a nice thing plus you may even use it to throw in her face. if you dont get the full facts your mind can play games with and images and videos aint nice at all.

Plain and simple STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.

Last edited by Drewgar; 03-23-2012 at 04:31 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 03-24-2012, 05:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
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my advice while u might like the sound of it now it can cause problems later on, ive been in this situation and my advice to any1 would be dont even go there.

Some can handle it some like to think they can but its a whole lot different when u know facts. u may feel jealous that she did things she now wont with you and it can cause feelings of rejection, why wont she with me am i not all that, and its not a nice thing plus you may even use it to throw in her face. if you dont get the full facts your mind can play games with and images and videos aint nice at all.

Plain and simple STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM THIS TOPIC.
I see your point but the taboo nature of it is part of the attraction of it for me. Let me address some of the concerns:

1. what if she had larger penises that mine?

No problem. I know she has had. I don't have the biggest penis in the world. I also know that she likes big penises. She's also had sex with guys with bigger biceps, whiter teeth, nicer hair, etc. so what? it's the whole package...if you look at individual parts you can always find a nicer (fill in the blank) in others.

2. what if she did things that she refuses to do with me?

not sure about this one. She has had experiences that she has never had with me (sex in various places, etc) but there is no whole 'category' of sex (e.g. oral, anal, etc) that she has had with others and not me. If this were the case I'm sure we could talk about it to understand why. You can't do EVERYTHING with your spouse that they did in the past. That's just life. No problem for me.

3. what if other guys did her better?

hmmm. this is a common fear that people have whether they know their wife's history or not. Some people may like to live life thinking that they were the best their spouse has ever had and don't want to know any realities that might challenge this. This might work for some but not for me. Like in #1, some aspects of it might have been 'better' with other guys (bigger d*ck, special tricks, etc). If, as a man, you try your best with sex, focus on it and are truly into your wife, how can another man just always be 'better'. Anyway, I can accept that sex with different people is always somewhat DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT does not equal BETTER. But sex during horny younger years is, in some ways better but in many other ways not as good.

4. What if you hear some things that upset you or give you painful 'mind movies'?

Well there are always those things that give you some shivers but hey, we are adults and we should be able to deal with it. However, if you have an image of your spouse that would be ruined by something that you hear then sharing sexual stories is probably not for you. She's done some things that she knows were risky and stupid (as most people have) and that seem out of character to the woman I know. But I don't have a virginal image of her that is ruined by these things. Knowing these things does not change how I view her or what I think of her. She did these things and that's just part of her sexuality. When i heard things that were out of character for her, I was surprised and intrigued by them and understanding this stuff made me feel that I know her better. Hearing some of the things was intense and emotional and we felt a much closer level of intimacy because of it. So learning something about your spouse that surprises you after knowing them for so many years can be exciting and can keep your relationship interesting.

Women commonly share things with their friends anyway. Why? Because many people like talking about sex. So I don't understand why the topic should be off limits with a spouse.
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Old 03-26-2012, 04:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I see your point but the taboo nature of it is part of the attraction of it for me. Let me address some of the concerns:

1. what if she had larger penises that mine?

No problem. I know she has had. I don't have the biggest penis in the world. I also know that she likes big penises. She's also had sex with guys with bigger biceps, whiter teeth, nicer hair, etc. so what? it's the whole package...if you look at individual parts you can always find a nicer (fill in the blank) in others.

That is one problem i never really consider will affect any LTR, ive always though that as long as the people involved are in the act of love making and not sex size will never have any affect. My beliefs are that in this situation u could hvae the worlds smallest penis but when you are making love with all the emotions, bells and wistles that are involved to the other person you will have the biggest penis they will have ever experienced.

2. what if she did things that she refuses to do with me?

not sure about this one. She has had experiences that she has never had with me (sex in various places, etc) but there is no whole 'category' of sex (e.g. oral, anal, etc) that she has had with others and not me. If this were the case I'm sure we could talk about it to understand why. You can't do EVERYTHING with your spouse that they did in the past. That's just life. No problem for me.

Its not so much as she wont more of the she hates the act, it could realistically cause a problem and no matter how much you talk about it you may still feel a little resentment, how you deal with this is your choice but you should always plan th negative outcome as well as the positive just incase.

3. what if other guys did her better?

hmmm. this is a common fear that people have whether they know their wife's history or not. Some people may like to live life thinking that they were the best their spouse has ever had and don't want to know any realities that might challenge this. This might work for some but not for me. Like in #1, some aspects of it might have been 'better' with other guys (bigger d*ck, special tricks, etc). If, as a man, you try your best with sex, focus on it and are truly into your wife, how can another man just always be 'better'. Anyway, I can accept that sex with different people is always somewhat DIFFERENT. DIFFERENT does not equal BETTER. But sex during horny younger years is, in some ways better but in many other ways not as good.

Same answer has my reply to number really, makign love will always be better thn the best sex the other person has ever experienced.

4. What if you hear some things that upset you or give you painful 'mind movies'?

Well there are always those things that give you some shivers but hey, we are adults and we should be able to deal with it. However, if you have an image of your spouse that would be ruined by something that you hear then sharing sexual stories is probably not for you. She's done some things that she knows were risky and stupid (as most people have) and that seem out of character to the woman I know. But I don't have a virginal image of her that is ruined by these things. Knowing these things does not change how I view her or what I think of her. She did these things and that's just part of her sexuality. When i heard things that were out of character for her, I was surprised and intrigued by them and understanding this stuff made me feel that I know her better. Hearing some of the things was intense and emotional and we felt a much closer level of intimacy because of it. So learning something about your spouse that surprises you after knowing them for so many years can be exciting and can keep your relationship interesting.

Women commonly share things with their friends anyway. Why? Because many people like talking about sex. So I don't understand why the topic should be off limits with a spouse.
your comments about number 4 on your list are my biggest concerns for any person wanting to knwo the details about other peoples past. Like i said you may feel fine now but you can never forget the things she tells you that while now you feel fine abotu in a few months years or even decades from now could possible affect you. I envy people with the choice of if to know there partners pasts or not i know my wifes and while i feel good that she was honest and trusts me to know these facts if i was given the choice i would probally not want to know, I only found out due to the fact before we were together we was best friends and knew alot about each other, but given the choice now im not so sure like i said.

Always fully think through the pros and cons of any conversation like this my advice like i said would be stay away but thats neither my decision or place to tell you i can only offer advice. i dont wish to seem all high and mighty by how i have spoken i just like to express my own personal experiences and adice.

I hope what ever your decision may be i hope i have helped you in a small way even if its being prepared we can never know how the future will unfold. i hope you the best of luck.
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Old 03-26-2012, 07:53 AM   #7 (permalink)
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You are not alone, couple. I discovered what you are talking about 10 years into my marriage at the grocery store, no less!

She mentioned dating the guy waiting 3 aisles over and I joked, "did his 'line' move faster then, too?". She smirked and said yes. I hadn't expected a response (other than the usual punch in the arm), but like you I was instantly intrigued. I spent the rest of the day pestering her for more details and she laughingly obliged. I remember feeling anxious asking the questions, no, maybe it was anticipation but I just couldn't help asking. I never once felt like I would be upset by her responses, after all I was asking.

That subject came up from time to time for a year or two but I think it was a phase for me because I haven't thought about it in the longest time. It was fun for both of us while it lasted though and we've been together 26 yrs so I can say that it never caused US any problems.

Last edited by Silly Husband; 03-31-2012 at 07:11 PM.
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Old 03-26-2012, 10:16 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Intrigued by wife's sexual history

I've always thought full disclosure was best. If it turns you on, then it'll make disclosure a lot easier.
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Old 03-31-2012, 05:42 AM   #9 (permalink)
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You are not alone, couple. I discovered what you are talking about 10 years into my marriage at the grocery store, no less!

She mentioned dating the guy waiting 3 aisles over and I joked, "did his 'line' move faster then, too?". She smirked and said yes. I hadn't expected a response (other than the usual punch in the arm), but like you I was instantly intrigued. I spent the rest of the day pestering her for more details and she laughingly obliged. I remember feeling anxious asking the questions, no, maybe it was anticipation but I just couldn't help asking. I never once felt like I would be upset by her responses, after all I was asking.

That subject came up from time to time for a year or two but I think it was a phase for me because I haven't thought about it in the longest time. It was fun for both of us while it lasted though and we've been together 46 yrs so I can say that it never caused US any problems.
Thanks for sharing this. I also go through phases where I have this intrigue and times where I don't think about it at all. Like you, I have felt very anxious (nervous anticipation) when asking questions and I find this very exciting. One time we explored this while on vacation and it was part of our sex every night during that week. It's good that you have had fun with this too. Let's face it, most of our wives have been horny for guys and have gotten 'naughty' with other guys. Just a fact of life. Some can't face this fact but some of us can have some fun with it (assuming she's into it too). When you have been with someone for ages, it's fun to think of them as younger, carefree, horny, sexual and free.
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Old 03-31-2012, 07:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Intrigued by wife's sexual history

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When you have been with someone for ages, it's fun to think of them as younger, carefree, horny, sexual and free.
And now, mine!
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Old 03-31-2012, 07:52 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Intrigued by wife's sexual history

A long time ago I asked my husband about his sexual past. He's not the kiss and tell type. He wouldn't tell me, but I pushed until he reluctantly told me some details about one girlfriend. Then I wish I hadn't asked. When he saw my face, he shut up and refused to say anymore because he felt bad. Not only did I know the girl he told me about (she and I had gone to the same school but I didn't know him back then), but they had done something we hadn't done until then. Of course I then had to do it so that he had a fresh memory of it with me. For a while I was jealous, but I got over it. I can talk to him about those things in the past without any jealousy. It's BTDT, old history, no threat to me. We've done so much more together than things he's done in the past. Today I'm fine with his past. Back when I was an insecure 20 something year old, I had more problems with the details.
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Old 04-01-2012, 04:03 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I don't want to know any details, especially sexual ones, about my husband's past. I know very little about it currently, and what I do know, I have to not think about or else it will bother me.

Unlike anyone who has asked, he volunteered this information to me - but since has learned that maybe keeping some things to yourself is best.

He knows a lot about my previous relationship, (being that we were friends and all, and he knew my ex), but sexual details I don't reveal. Not that there was anything much to reveal anyways, but you get the idea...
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Old 09-19-2012, 03:36 AM   #13 (permalink)
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If it turns you on, I would ask her about it. My wife has had many partners and always gives info If I ask. I am not the biggest, the best or anything. But she loves me anyways.
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Old 09-19-2012, 03:40 AM   #14 (permalink)
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My wife has had what I consider a pretty normal sex life before we met...some boyfriends she had sex with and some guys that were just short flings and also some one night stands.

I find myself intrigued, if not somewhat fascinated, by her sexual past. I think about her as an attractive young woman living a carefree sex life, taking some risks and having fun. But we've been in a relationship for so long that the picture of her with other guys seems so remote and therefore intriguing. She's also beyond these years, responsible now, and the importance of sex is much lower. So it's exciting to think of her being so carefree and sexual.

I'm not a cuckold as I'm not excited by any humiliation element of her with other guys.

I think it's not so uncommon for men to fantasize about sexual young women so is it wrong to fantasize about your wife being sexual, even if it is with other guys? I love to hear her sex stories when she cares to treat me to them.

I understand that many people think that you shouldn't think or talk about any of this together but do any other men feel like this or am I alone? Do any women have husbands that are interested in their past sex lives?
WTF mate?!
You are EXACTLY like me in this! lol

She had a wild past including threesomes and other women (and she denies that she is bi-sexual), which I always find intriguing.
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Old 09-19-2012, 07:03 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Just knowing that my wife was with other guys before me is uncomfortable, let alone hearing how they made her cum? To each his own, bro, but I'm a jealous bastard who gets flustered by the mere thought of some other man being down there. Regardless if it was before my time.

My wife claims to have only been with ex-boyfriends, but I still hold some reservations on if she is downplaying it or not. Either way, it would make me explode to hear any details and I'm also glad that I do not know who any of these guys are. It would be even more uncomfortable if I did.
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