Thewife

draconis,
yes I also think that he didnt mean to hurt me in the way i was hurt.

The problem with our childcare arrangements and roles are that he works out of town and only comes home fortnightly.

From next week we will be staying together and he had promised to help me more with the kids and household........i must also find out how much can i ask him to help, i dont want him to over work himself because he has a full time project based job which can be very stressful at times.

My mil doesnt work or bring any money home, she lives in her house a few min away so she comes in as and when she wants. Lately, i dont entertain her so much so she had cut down on her visits, she now comes in only when i need her to baby sit. I m better off seeing her less times a month or week.

The problem with men is they dont talk much (not all), then how on earth are we supposed to understand them??

draconis

The problem with men and communication is simply by how you communicate with them. Men have less connectivity in the right to left brains so they don't function as well as women doing multible things but can consentrate on one thing very well. This is not something made up, it is actual science fact.

draconis

Thewife

Yes I have read this in books but is it multiple tasking to just tell how you feel?? Whenever, we quarrel or upset its me who always have to make the move to settle the issue or talk about the probem, he simply can go on for days like nothing is wrong. Moreover, I have to really be patient and wait for minutes or hours before he can say a word...........perhaps his vocabulary is very limited?? Arghhhhhhhh this is a torture to me.

Hey I m talking abt my husband basically so no offence ok? I know that there are great men like u out there who can communicate very well, may be my DH is the primitive type

draconis

Try this go into a quiet room hold his hands when you talk to him. With no distractions he will be more focused on what you say. Holding his hands is a chrismatic/psychological trick that helps a person stay focused on you. Emergancy crews are taught this tech for good reason. Try this and see if you get better and quicker results.

draconis

Thewife

hi sorry for disappearing suddenly.....

its been 2 weeks since we moved in together and so far so good.

I actually tried your method of talking to him...well it worked (atleast thats what i think). He listened to me and then said now he understands what i m exactly going thru....he was a bit restless after listening to me for a few min but soon came back to me and said that he will do anything to make this a happy and wonderful relationship again.

As he said he is being very nice and am doing something for him everyday ( tho some days are really tuff and i forget). but no time to post here everyday as i m yet to get a new pc.

thanks!

draconis

Awesome...I hope only the best for you.

draconis