General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
To the OP, have you ever just came out and asked him why he feels the need to hide it and delete stuff? I mean you already stated porn wasn't the problem you had, it was the hiding. Just ask and see if you get a answer.
To the OP, have you ever just came out and asked him why he feels the need to hide it and delete stuff? I mean you already stated porn wasn't the problem you had, it was the hiding. Just ask and see if you get a answer.
Most probably he is embarassed and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Nothing more sinister than that!
But then, there I go, generalizing...maybe he has an obsession for goat-sex or something....
I don't need visual stimulation just for masturbation either. Maybe it is just me. Either way, I don't think conjuring images in your head is the same as watching two real people do sex acts on a screen.
Yea...me neither. My mental pics are of Hubs doing naughty things to me.
good for you thats a great attitude hope you can keep it up for the next 20,30, 40 years.
So do I, although that would put me at 62, 72, and 82 years of age respectively. It will probably matter even less by then...and please, all of you can spare me the details of visualizing 'senior' sex. Thanks!
I didn't ask my husband why he was keeping the porn watching a secret. Maybe I should. I don't really think he has an answer for it, so maybe that's why I didn't ask.
I didn't ask my husband why he was keeping the porn watching a secret. Maybe I should. I don't really think he has an answer for it, so maybe that's why I didn't ask.
Yea...me neither. My mental pics are of Hubs doing naughty things to me.
I don't mind if my husband watches porn or even visualises some other fantasy in his head (not that he would tell me). They're not real. I'm real. We have a great sex life. He looks at me and talks to me. If I asked him to stop looking at porn forever starting now, he probably would because it's not over the top for him. But I wouldn't. Because it doesn't affect us. If it was an addiction, of course. But a girlie magazine once in a blue moon, or a video once a month. Not bothered in the slightest.
I honestly think he'd give me the 'I don't know' default answer.
He doesn't have a good reason for it. I give him sex as much and any time he wants it. Watching porn and hiding it is one of those DOH! moments really.
My poor guy doesn't even like talking about anything like that...it's been such a struggle. But now that we're coming through it, things are so much better. We may not be rocking down the walls every night, but we're close, and affectionate, and loving. He's touching me all the time, we sleep wrapped up in one another. When the sex happens, it's just great.
Most of the time, they're afraid we will 'get mad'.
I get mad about wayyyyy stupider things than that... LMAO!!!
Precisely WHY the guy would hide it then! If you're gonna get mad at something less significant, then he's gonna keep the "potentially more significant" on the down-low!!!
I honestly think he'd give me the 'I don't know' default answer.
He doesn't have a good reason for it. I give him sex as much and any time he wants it. Watching porn and hiding it is one of those DOH! moments really.
"I dont know" is not an acceptable answer in this house. With a little thought, people KNOW why they did something, even if they jsut "felt like doing it". "I don't know" is what morons say...and I don't think your husband is an idiot.
In our talks, if one of us says, "I don't know", the other will pull the info out. We just learned to be honest, even if it hurts. lol This builds intimacy.
"I dont know" is an avoidance of the issue. People know why they did things, they just don't want to hurt anyone with the reason.
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Re: Porn - is it cheating? 
