wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

Hello:

wanted to ask if anyone else deals with this. My wife age 44 works late constantly, 10-25 minutes almost every day, yet doesn't get paid for it. Told her she needed to stop doing that or i would start to feel like she would rather be hanging outthere then with her family

She 'worked' late again the other day, only 30 minutes, but still.. i have asked her multiple times to please text or call me when she works late so I do not have to worry. She began her explanation with "Ron was trying to show me how to do my job better, and I had to stay and laugh when he failed"

Ron age 34 is an owner/partner that for the last 2 months only comes in 2 days a week, whom, in my wifes words: "thinks he is a rock star and recently started to manage a country rap group, doesn't know why he is married when he is never home and always out drinking, will come in to work drunk and start trouble with banks/insurance companies and customers when he does and she has to put out the fires"

Well I asked if he was on the phone for 30 minutes and/or drunk and she said no, but she had work to do also, a few more minutes into the conversation it went to the clocks on the computer are 25 minutes slow so she didn't know what time it really was as it said 4:05 and not 4:30, then finally changed to she was trying to make up time as she was taking Friday off.

I told her I do not trust or like Ron as he does drink, and recently they gave my wife a pair of tickets to a hockey game and my son and I went. She told me to let her know what Rons wife was like as she never met her in 2.5 years but met the other partenrs wife multiple times. When we got there he was drunk and looked and acted very dissapointed and asked me why I came down with my son and not my wife like she said?

I told him I didn't know, she didn't mention it and oh btw where is your wife? He didn't answer and just walked away, he came with his brother instead and his brother told me he never asks his wife to go.

So when i asked her why she didn't just tell me that she stayed to make up time in the first place, i get, so what are you going to do with that ****s husband dies? Go back to her?

"Her " being my first gf from 1984-87. Her father just passed and I 'liked' a eulogy left by a mutual friend and ever since she has given me **** about wanting to get back together, that evening particularlly hard.

Is it a 'diversionary' tactic?
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Old 03-26-2012, 01:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

Yeah, it sounds like she brought that up to turn the tables on you. It doesn't sound like she's really trying to spend time with Ron though, since she sent you to the game instead of going herself. It sounds like he might be trying to get with her, and she needs to understand that so that she can establish careful boundaries with him. But it was dumb of you to 'like' anything that had anything to do with your ex.
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:02 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

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It doesn't sound like she's really trying to spend time with Ron though, since she sent you to the game instead of going herself. It sounds like he might be trying to get with her, and she needs to understand that so that she can establish careful boundaries with him. But it was dumb of you to 'like' anything that had anything to do with your ex.
didn't think of that but your right, but would have been nice if she went with me, though I think she knew he may have caused problems.

As for the ex- i don't think so, as I talk to her ex and tried to encourage her to go to his moms funeral.
She refused, I dropped it.

But i found out from a friend that went to my ex's funeral that her dad was asking to see me before he passed and my ex was afraid to contact me as my wife, with in the last 15 years, sent her a letter telling her to STOP talking to MY mother, as they saw each other in a store and my mom told my wife, innocently she saw her. I never knew. Saw this ex about 2 months ago in a store with my wife, she waved, I waved back, and I caught sh..!

My mom loves everybody forgives quickly and forgets as quickly. I am a lot like her, I hold no grudges against any of my ex's or my wifes. Hell I talk to her ex more then she does or so I thought. She told me the other day she DID talk and hug her ex, ONCE recently since I liked the eulogy and 'waved' to the ex... told her good for her, great way to start to let go of the hate and resentment ... I do not believe for a minute though that it was the first time. I strongly beleive they are part of your past life for a reason but still a part of who you are, why hate?
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:04 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

Projection of her own thoughts.
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

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Projection of her own thoughts.
I don't understand? what do you mean sorry.
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Old 03-26-2012, 03:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

i think this whole thing sounds fishy.

sounds like she is feeding you info about ron to make you think he is not the type of guy she would like so you have nothing to worry about with him.

my exw did this with guys then come to find out she was with them.

trying to throw you off track with him.

do you know what she was doing while you were at the hockey game?
was ron there?

maybe they sent you somewhere that they would know they had a certain amount of time you would be gone?

be careful of women and their intentions when they tell you something or do things like send you off to a hockey game given to her by someone like ron.
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Old 03-26-2012, 03:33 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

I was very suspicious, when she started this job and very insecure with myself. I have worked myself into beleiveing she is nOT cheating but being the only woman at the office at the time, she definitely enjoyed the attention, and still does, and always has as even when we met, she had a 'crew' of boys around her, that I didn't fret then. Talking to my counselor, he beleives the attention seeking comes from the facther father ws never around.

Also, Ron was with us at the game and 45 minutes away from home and office. could have been someone else here... but i doubt it.
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Old 03-26-2012, 03:35 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

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I don't understand? what do you mean sorry.
She's up to no good. She's actually worried you'll leave her because 1, she's being shady about something or 2, she wants to leave you.
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Old 09-01-2012, 07:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: wife constantly brings up ex GF's to avoid questions

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Originally Posted by dontwanttoloseher View Post
Hello:

wanted to ask if anyone else deals with this. My wife age 44 works late constantly, 10-25 minutes almost every day, yet doesn't get paid for it. Told her she needed to stop doing that or i would start to feel like she would rather be hanging outthere then with her family

She 'worked' late again the other day, only 30 minutes, but still.. i have asked her multiple times to please text or call me when she works late so I do not have to worry. She began her explanation with "Ron was trying to show me how to do my job better, and I had to stay and laugh when he failed"

Ron age 34 is an owner/partner that for the last 2 months only comes in 2 days a week, whom, in my wifes words: "thinks he is a rock star and recently started to manage a country rap group, doesn't know why he is married when he is never home and always out drinking, will come in to work drunk and start trouble with banks/insurance companies and customers when he does and she has to put out the fires"

Well I asked if he was on the phone for 30 minutes and/or drunk and she said no, but she had work to do also, a few more minutes into the conversation it went to the clocks on the computer are 25 minutes slow so she didn't know what time it really was as it said 4:05 and not 4:30, then finally changed to she was trying to make up time as she was taking Friday off.

I told her I do not trust or like Ron as he does drink, and recently they gave my wife a pair of tickets to a hockey game and my son and I went. She told me to let her know what Rons wife was like as she never met her in 2.5 years but met the other partenrs wife multiple times. When we got there he was drunk and looked and acted very dissapointed and asked me why I came down with my son and not my wife like she said?

I told him I didn't know, she didn't mention it and oh btw where is your wife? He didn't answer and just walked away, he came with his brother instead and his brother told me he never asks his wife to go.

So when i asked her why she didn't just tell me that she stayed to make up time in the first place, i get, so what are you going to do with that ****s husband dies? Go back to her?

"Her " being my first gf from 1984-87. Her father just passed and I 'liked' a eulogy left by a mutual friend and ever since she has given me **** about wanting to get back together, that evening particularlly hard.

Is it a 'diversionary' tactic?
Confront Ron, run him off. Deadly force is permitted. Figuratively.

After he's gone Your wife is next. Spending late nights after work is not permitted, if she wants to remain married. No negotiating, no backing down. In fact make her get a different job.
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