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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-27-2012, 11:43 PM Thread Starter
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lost and confused

this is a long story but i need to let this out and i need help/advice.

I AM A 24 YEAR OLD FEMALE AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR LESS THAN A YEAR. MY HUSBAND IS IN GENERAL AN AMAZING, INTELLIGENT, SENSITIVE HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES THE BEST. WHEN I FIRST MET HIM I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH MY FEELINGS TOWARD HIM I THOUGHT I KNEW FOR SURE HE WAS THE ONE BUT I STILL AM IN LOVE WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND WHO I WAS WITH FOR THREE YEARS AND WAS PREGNANT WITH. I DREAM ABOUT THIS MAN ALMOST EVERY NIGHT AND SOMETIMES CAN NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I KNOW I AM WITH THE WRONG PERSON. THIS MAN WAS MY BEST FRIEND, HE LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY, HIS FAMILY WAS MY FAMILY AND WE WERE BEST FRIENDS. THERE WERE SO MANY SIGNS/CHANCES THAT WERE TELLING ME HE WAS THE ONE BUT I WAS YOUNG AND IGNORED THEM. ONCE WE FOUND OUT WE WERE PREGNANT HE HAD TO SERVE SOME TIME FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YEARS EARLIER SO WHILE HE WAS AWAY AND I WAS PREGNANT, HE BECAME VERY VERY PROTECTIVE, CLINGY, AND CONTROLLING WHICH HE NEVER WAS BEFORE AND IT SCARED ME, I COMPLETELY SHUT HIM DOWN AND ALMOST INSTANTLY WANTED TO BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM. I ENDED UP HAVING AN ABORTION AND NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW MUCH I SCREWED UP MY LIFE AND HOW MUCH I WANT TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN. EVEN AFTER HE TRIED NUMEROUS TIMES TO BE WITH ME AGAIN AND EVERY TIME I WOULD GO BACK AND THEN SHUT HIM DOWN AGAIN. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I DID THAT? I KNEW I LOVED HIM AND I HAD NEVER BEEN THAT HAPPY IN MY LIFE. I AM REALLY LOST AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW LIFE IS SHORT AND PRECIOUS AND I DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE FEELING LIKE I AM SPENDING IT WITH THE WRONG MAN.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-27-2012, 11:59 PM
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Re: lost and confused

Quote:
Originally Posted by moradalove View Post
this is a long story but i need to let this out and i need help/advice.

I AM A 24 YEAR OLD FEMALE AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR LESS THAN A YEAR. MY HUSBAND IS IN GENERAL AN AMAZING, INTELLIGENT, SENSITIVE HUMAN BEING WHO DESERVES THE BEST. WHEN I FIRST MET HIM I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH MY FEELINGS TOWARD HIM I THOUGHT I KNEW FOR SURE HE WAS THE ONE BUT I STILL AM IN LOVE WITH MY EX BOYFRIEND WHO I WAS WITH FOR THREE YEARS AND WAS PREGNANT WITH. I DREAM ABOUT THIS MAN ALMOST EVERY NIGHT AND SOMETIMES CAN NOT SLEEP AT NIGHT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I KNOW I AM WITH THE WRONG PERSON. THIS MAN WAS MY BEST FRIEND, HE LOVED ME UNCONDITIONALLY, HIS FAMILY WAS MY FAMILY AND WE WERE BEST FRIENDS. THERE WERE SO MANY SIGNS/CHANCES THAT WERE TELLING ME HE WAS THE ONE BUT I WAS YOUNG AND IGNORED THEM. ONCE WE FOUND OUT WE WERE PREGNANT HE HAD TO SERVE SOME TIME FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YEARS EARLIER SO WHILE HE WAS AWAY AND I WAS PREGNANT, HE BECAME VERY VERY PROTECTIVE, CLINGY, AND CONTROLLING WHICH HE NEVER WAS BEFORE AND IT SCARED ME, I COMPLETELY SHUT HIM DOWN AND ALMOST INSTANTLY WANTED TO BREAK IT OFF WITH HIM. I ENDED UP HAVING AN ABORTION AND NOW ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS HOW MUCH I SCREWED UP MY LIFE AND HOW MUCH I WANT TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN. EVEN AFTER HE TRIED NUMEROUS TIMES TO BE WITH ME AGAIN AND EVERY TIME I WOULD GO BACK AND THEN SHUT HIM DOWN AGAIN. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I DID THAT? I KNEW I LOVED HIM AND I HAD NEVER BEEN THAT HAPPY IN MY LIFE. I AM REALLY LOST AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW LIFE IS SHORT AND PRECIOUS AND I DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE FEELING LIKE I AM SPENDING IT WITH THE WRONG MAN.


You should tell your husband and try to work through this with him. It's not uncommon to have doubts after marrying. As far as your ex I think you need to let that go for now and give your marriage your all. Your married now. Marriage isn't a switch you can turn off and on. Since you decided to take those vows with this man than you should try to give it a genuine chance before calling it quits.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-27-2012, 11:59 PM
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Re: lost and confused

Also just a tip, all caps is generally used for screaming.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 03-28-2012, 08:07 AM
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Re: lost and confused

Mora,
I think you need to think this through a bit more.

You tried to re-unite with your ex on a number of occasions and something pulled you back each time.

I think that you and your ex are an example of a couple who love each other but can't be together. You're not being fair to your husband, a man who obviously loves and cares for you yet you disrespect him completely by pining away for your lost love. Spare your now husband ans cut him loose so he can go out and find someone who will truly love him. Do not have children with him! It would be wrong to saddle him with kids if you don't love him!
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-15-2012, 11:03 AM
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Re: lost and confused

Usually young couples who marry with high emotion remain much later with genuine regret Try to work out logically what you want to be from ten years back
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