My wife yesterday evening was checking her text messages, and there were several from a guy at the gym where she works out. (I'm not sure she realized I had walked behind her in our mudroom)
She says the story is this: She saw this guy's car in the lot ~2 wks ago, asked him about his nice car, said she'd like to set up her single friend with him, and they exchange phone #'s. (friend has yet to be set up) We go to look for a new car for her yesterday, and she texts him about it (we met at the dealer after work), telling him we're going to look for a new car, back and forth, yadayadayada. She says it's no big deal, and I have no reason to be unhappy about it. (She says, "He's 26, I'm 38, you have nothing to worry about. . .What, can I not have any friends that are guys? . . .Can I not talk to guys?. . . ." I say of course you can have friends that are guys, but I'm uncomfortable with exchanging phone #'s in the gym parking lot, and subsequent text messaging.)
Is this innocent, and nothing to be worried about?
It is extremely difficult for me b/c we've had some tough times. At a minimum, emotional affairs with her and other guys (and I suspect physical as well). We've been to counseling, and while our counselor sides with her on many things (I have a problem trusting her, and can therefore seem controlling--which I have improved tremendously about, at least in my mind!), he did agree that text messaging with guys at the gym was not a good idea for our marriage.
We have been doing so good together, as happy as we've been in a long time, but now I'm feeling insecure and saddened again. Am I over-reacting with my feelings?
Sorry for the long-winded post, and thanks for reading!
Married 8 years, 2 kids ages 4 & 6.
She says the story is this: She saw this guy's car in the lot ~2 wks ago, asked him about his nice car, said she'd like to set up her single friend with him, and they exchange phone #'s. (friend has yet to be set up) We go to look for a new car for her yesterday, and she texts him about it (we met at the dealer after work), telling him we're going to look for a new car, back and forth, yadayadayada. She says it's no big deal, and I have no reason to be unhappy about it. (She says, "He's 26, I'm 38, you have nothing to worry about. . .What, can I not have any friends that are guys? . . .Can I not talk to guys?. . . ." I say of course you can have friends that are guys, but I'm uncomfortable with exchanging phone #'s in the gym parking lot, and subsequent text messaging.)
Is this innocent, and nothing to be worried about?
It is extremely difficult for me b/c we've had some tough times. At a minimum, emotional affairs with her and other guys (and I suspect physical as well). We've been to counseling, and while our counselor sides with her on many things (I have a problem trusting her, and can therefore seem controlling--which I have improved tremendously about, at least in my mind!), he did agree that text messaging with guys at the gym was not a good idea for our marriage.
We have been doing so good together, as happy as we've been in a long time, but now I'm feeling insecure and saddened again. Am I over-reacting with my feelings?
Sorry for the long-winded post, and thanks for reading!
Married 8 years, 2 kids ages 4 & 6.