Why does my husband lie to me?
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Old 04-02-2012, 03:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation Why does my husband lie to me?

On April 9th, it will be 3 yrs that my husband and I have been married. Over the last 4 years, I have caught him in various lies. He has never cheated on me, that I know of. I'll give a few examples of his lies:

-a few years a go, i found months of text messages (hundreds) between him a girl we worked with. There were also pics of her on his phone. He says they were just friends and liked talking.

-He lied to me about calling an ex girlfriend
- I have also caught him flirting with girls he works with on facebook
-The latest is last night I was waiting up for him (he's a chef so he works late hours) and he got home really late last night. When I asked him why, he said that a new cleaning company started but when I found evidence that he left earlier than he said, he says he went to his sisters house to drop something off. Where ever he was he was there for only about 30 minutes and it was close to home (his sister does live close).

There have been many many other lies, but I don't know/don't think he has cheated on me (meaning slept with someone else). All his lies are too much for me. No matter how many times we fight and I ask him to just be honest with me, he keeps lying. I can't trust him anymore, I don't feel like I can love him anymore.

I just want to know why he is lying and is he hidding somethingn else from me? Is it time to walk away?
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Old 04-02-2012, 03:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

How's your sex life?
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Old 04-02-2012, 03:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

Why do you think he wasn't cheating? Looks like he was cheating to me.
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Old 04-02-2012, 04:14 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

Umm, why do you think he's not cheating? How dense do you have to be? If he went to his sisters, why would he lie about it? People don't lie because it's fun, they lie because they want to hide something.

The better question is, why do you put up with someone that lies to you? Why did you marry a dishonest person? Why are you still in the relationship tolerating this behavior?
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Old 04-02-2012, 04:20 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

How old is he?
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Old 04-02-2012, 04:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Dean* View Post
He doesn't have good briefs and values.
What does this have to do with his underwear?
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Old 04-02-2012, 05:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by endlessgrief View Post
What does this have to do with his underwear?


To the OP: It *does* sound like he is cheating on you. There are emotional affairs as well as physical affairs, but it does sound like it is a very real possibility that he is sleeping around.

He is lying, you don't trust him- why *wouldn't* you want to call it quits?
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Old 04-02-2012, 05:58 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

He's lying because...

1) he's male.
2) he's breathing.
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Old 04-02-2012, 06:09 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

He lies because he doesn't want you to be mad at him. At least that's what my estranged husband told me every time I confronted him with his lies. Of course I was mad at him! He was cheating and playing me for a fool!

It's time you investigate. Lies are told to cover things up.....things you would be mad about. In hindsight I would probably skip the investigating. The lies alone destroy trust. And a solid marriage can't exist where there is no trust.
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Old 04-02-2012, 06:49 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceci23 View Post
He has never cheated on me, that I know of.

-a few years a go, i found months of text messages (hundreds) between him a girl we worked with. There were also pics of her on his phone. He says they were just friends and liked talking.
How many ways are there to say, "Well, DUH!!!" C'mon ... just friends, my a$$! Why would a married man text hundreds of messages and have pics of her on his phone? Because she's like a long-lost sister????

At this point, even if he NEVER had an affair, you have caught him lying multiple times. Who the heck wants to be married to an adulterous spouse or a pathological liar?

"Just friends" ... yeah, right, and the moon is made of cream cheese!
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Old 04-15-2012, 11:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

If you ask if it's time to walk time comes anyway, so you start to think that in total with your approach as I would expect the real exploitation and abuse so think from the beginning
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Old 04-15-2012, 07:48 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

If a husband or a wife lies than they are no good and you might as well leave them. Lying allot is complete lack of respect for your partner

if you lie in a relationship you might as well give up
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Old 04-18-2012, 07:17 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

I can't stand a sneaky, lying person! I've never understood why people lie about ridiculous things... could it be they're covering something up? I think... YES.

Seriously, it's one thing to lie to your boss: "I was late this morning because traffic was horrible"--when really you were having a bad hair day and it took longer to get ready for work; it's quite another thing to say you were "working late", but you left on time and then add later that you went to so and so's house... He's covering up something.

The deal breaker for me would have been texts to the other woman--not a "can you email me the Smith contact info for my report"--but 100's? Photos? Yeah, he'd have been gone the moment I saw all that crap.
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:14 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

My husband does the SAME thing!! I hate it so much. I can never prove he is lying, but he is so brief about where he was, and there are countless hours unaccounted for all the time. Also the thing with ex gfs and facebook flirting. I know exactly how you feel and i know it is an endless battle. It will drain you. I have been dealing with this for my whole marriage, and i will tell you right now it only gets worse. I havent been married long, but the downward slope is fast, and if you can get out, do so. Do you have any children? if not, then you are ahead of me, and you have more reason to leave. I know it feels wrong to leave when you have no proof, but TRUST YOUR INSTINCT. Women know these things! If you feel it, then there is something there.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:49 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Why does my husband lie to me?

Velco a voice-activated recorder under the seat of his car and check it every night.
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