04-03-2012, 11:57 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
| | How do I know if he's happy?
Hi...so glad to have found a place to ask stuff! Can't talk about marital problems to family and friends!
Beginning a new marriage later in life, I am 39 and husband is 54. This is the third marriage for both of us.
I really, really want to make him happy but I have no idea if what I'm doing is helping or hurting. My husband does not give feedback, positive or negative. He doesn't tell me if something I do upsets him, but neither does he tell me if something I do pleases him or makes him happy.
We have talked about this and all he can say is that he is a "giver" (meaning gifts, etc and he most definitely is) and he is not used to a woman wanting to do things for him.
He's not really a communicator either. But he is, in so many ways, such an amazing man...my strongest mentor in just about every area, except communication. ;-)
I really, really want to do things to please him and make him as happy as he makes me. But without any kind of feedback...how do I know?
I have ADHD myself and have a terrible time with some of the more subtle social cues...I'm a person who does best with very direct, very plain feedback, even if it's negative. Anyone married to a non-communicative man? Do they give you any nonverbal clues to let you know they are happy or not happy with you? Am I being too needy to want this from him?
I have two failed marriages and I'm determined that I will not take him for granted. I want him to feel special and needed and loved. Just need to know if I'm doing it right! Thanks!