How do I know if he's happy?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - Online Counseling - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-03-2012, 10:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 4
Default How do I know if he's happy?

Hi...so glad to have found a place to ask stuff! Can't talk about marital problems to family and friends!

Beginning a new marriage later in life, I am 39 and husband is 54. This is the third marriage for both of us.

I really, really want to make him happy but I have no idea if what I'm doing is helping or hurting. My husband does not give feedback, positive or negative. He doesn't tell me if something I do upsets him, but neither does he tell me if something I do pleases him or makes him happy.

We have talked about this and all he can say is that he is a "giver" (meaning gifts, etc and he most definitely is) and he is not used to a woman wanting to do things for him.

He's not really a communicator either. But he is, in so many ways, such an amazing man...my strongest mentor in just about every area, except communication. ;-)

I really, really want to do things to please him and make him as happy as he makes me. But without any kind of feedback...how do I know?

I have ADHD myself and have a terrible time with some of the more subtle social cues...I'm a person who does best with very direct, very plain feedback, even if it's negative. Anyone married to a non-communicative man? Do they give you any nonverbal clues to let you know they are happy or not happy with you? Am I being too needy to want this from him?

I have two failed marriages and I'm determined that I will not take him for granted. I want him to feel special and needed and loved. Just need to know if I'm doing it right! Thanks!
KDS0422 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-03-2012, 11:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Middle USA
Posts: 1,074
Default Re: How do I know if he's happy?

If he's a giver... that's probably his language of love too....

Find little gifts you can make him, or give to him. Cards... etc. See if he starts putting them in a "special"/ safe spot... ie, that he won't lose them, that he can tangibly see that you gave him a gift.

If he does have places that he keeps the little things you give him... then keep it up. That could be the only way that you can show him your love on "his level", if you know what I mean.
Chelle D is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2012, 09:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 87
Default Re: How do I know if he's happy?

Just the fact that this question the answer
the gifted is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Happy wife, happy life... lotsoflove General Relationship Discussion 3 06-22-2012 07:47 AM
Happy (or not so happy) Valentines day barbieDoll The Social Spot 13 02-14-2012 11:06 AM
I want to be happy. Should I be? Confused-Wife Considering Divorce or Separation 19 03-09-2011 02:09 PM
he's not happy... young_mother Physical & Mental Health Issues 2 01-19-2010 03:49 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads





Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:37 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage