Almostrecovered

explain more please

what are you using?

at the very least a keylogger and inspect the phone records and retrieve text messages if possible

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Newbies please read this
My story

MMM5000

I'm not scared. I said in my post that I'm doing it. Phone records and text messages. Haven't found anything out of the ordinary yet.

sinnister

I'm going to approach this from another angle.

Twice now you've mentioned that she is comparing her life with the lives of her "friends". A womans "friends" are Kryptonite to a marriage. It's like facebook mixed with online gaming. You see..sometimes there is this one catty one in the bunch that is miserable and just wants everybody to be miserable with her. So she feeds her a bunch of BS that makes her question everything. Her career, her parenting, her relationships...EVERYTHING.

You might want to reflect on that and make sure there is no saboteur in her group of friends..otherwise as previously stated, you'll be spinning your wheels trying to fix this while somebody is working on the opposite end trying to break it.

MMM5000

Well one of her friends is recently divorced but the other is recently married. So yeah, the odds are stacked against me.

Ten_year_hubby

That can do it. There is so much anti-marriage, anti-man, anti-family stuff out there for women to catch on to that a low self esteem, low self confidence female can easily feel validated through breaking away from her marriage/husband/family to pursue the holy grail of selfishness. Especially if her husband has been distracted for a while and is not making her feel validated through him

MMM5000

So what can I do? Other than take care of myself?

Can I win her back? Is it possible?

that_girl

Become the man you want to be. Be the man you think you need to be. Show her what she'd be leaving. But do it for you.

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A Bit Much

Ignoring spouses who make crazyassed statements DOES WORK.

NOT giving them the reaction they expect is rewarding for you. Take care of yourself. Be less available to her and her needs. She'll become curious...

That's what you want. A more balanced focus. Not just on ONE of you, but focus on both of you. You matter too!!

bandit.45

Like That_Girl said:

Do the 180, improve and work on yourself to be a stronger more independent person. Let her see you becoming an attractive, desirable man, and she might have second thoughts.

But like I said before, if she has checked out, which I suspect she has, there is not much you can do but go your own way.

Heres the link to the 180: http://www.network54.com/Forum/23319...891381/The+180

that_girl

Quite honestly, any woman who says to her husband that he can see other women are DONE with the marriage....probably because she has another option.

I mean, even if I had no libido, the idea of my husband seeing another woman is NOT an option for me...unless I was done.

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MMM5000

Yep, bandit. I'm going to do exactly that.

A Bit Much

You say something like that it's because you don't care anymore.

The idea... the mere idea of another woman 'seeing' my husband makes me

that_girl

When you do it, don't be a jerk. Just be a good man...and be your own man. Don't really pay her any mind.

Do yu have a hobby?

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PBear

And keep in mind the 180 is intended to help YOU move to a place where you're ok with things being over. It's not intended as a way to change your partner's mind, even though it sometimes has that effect. But if you do it to change her mind, you're just going through the motions of it.

My wife has pulled a very solid "180" on me since we separated last February. All it's done is made my life easier, and the separation easier on me.

C

MMM5000

I do. A couple of them that have been sitting on hold for a few months. I plan to resurrect one of them tonight.

I guess I want two things: I want to try and save the marriage but I also want to get to a place where I'm ok if we decide to part.