General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
That's the thing tho. I don't want too. But she wants us too. It makes no sense at all if you ask me. But we are leaving as soon as we possibly can. We DEFINITELY are not having a kid while living here. & since he wants kids, we HAVE to move out soon.
& thanks.
He's 22 and yeah he's got a job.
& thanks I hope all goes well for you when you decide to marry too. I'm apparently doing it too soon. According to everyone, I'm not ready and I'm rushing it and it's too soon. But who are they to say so? Yeah.. good luck (:
Oh, I see, well thats good. Do you intend to get a job as well? It would help with your financial situation and moving out of his mother's house. Also, one thing I reccomend doing is what someone on here had me do: plan out your finances for when you move out. That way you can be ready for what to expect and how to spend the money that you do have. It will probably be tight as I know that it will be for me as well, but I think that you can do it.
Also, thank you very much for your support. I hope that you will do whatever makes you happy. Although many people relate their own thought and things on young marriage, it is your decidion to make. I have realized that it is good to listen to those who have been through it though, it can be very helpful and give you things to think about. In the end, though, it is your relationship and you know it better than anyone else.
If money is the real issue, then I agree with what others have said about saving every possible penny. Also, be sure to spend as much time as possible out of his mother's house. The less you are there, the less you will bother her. I truly think waiting to get married would be the best thing for you to do, but if you are dead set on it, you have to make the best of a bad situation.
My husband (boyfriend at the time) lived with my parents for a short period while trying to get on our feet and it was definitely stressful, not only on my relationship with my partner, but also with my parents. As close as you think you are with someone, things change when you bring someone else into the home. We saved up and got our own place very close to my family and things are wonderful now.
Oh, I see, well thats good. Do you intend to get a job as well? It would help with your financial situation and moving out of his mother's house. Also, one thing I reccomend doing is what someone on here had me do: plan out your finances for when you move out. That way you can be ready for what to expect and how to spend the money that you do have. It will probably be tight as I know that it will be for me as well, but I think that you can do it.
Also, thank you very much for your support. I hope that you will do whatever makes you happy. Although many people relate their own thought and things on young marriage, it is your decidion to make. I have realized that it is good to listen to those who have been through it though, it can be very helpful and give you things to think about. In the end, though, it is your relationship and you know it better than anyone else.
Exactly.. You're welcome..
I plan on getting a job soon after we get everything else out of the way and after I get my license and all that.
Yes, but that's some people. I'm not "some" people. People are different and some are better with relationships than others. Mine is working out fine and it's never been "I love you" one day and "I need space" the next. We've never needed space from one another, thank you...
The falling out of love happens later on.
Not typically before the marriage in the early stages of the relationship.
In your case the seeds of conflict are already sown. You already have strife with his mom, there's going to be arguing, you will expect him to take your side, he'll be caught in the middle, probably will try to appease his mom, how will you feel about that?
Look, you are the one with the doubts, that's why you started this thread in the first place. The posters here are just trying to make you aware of the potential problems.
You've already stated you're going ahead with the wedding so what's left to discuss? You'll realize soon enough how good an idea this is. You just wanted everyone to tell you "oh go ahead with the wedding and move in with his mom, everything will be ok". Since you're getting advice to the contrary you are now in defensive mode and that's not helpful.
Uh no. Just because I said we're definitely moving out soon doesn't mean kids soon. I want to live on our own for a while before having kids.
K, what you wrote sounded like "We aren't having kids while we live with her, and since he wants kids we have to move out soon" which would imply to me that the reason was partially to have kids.
K, what you wrote sounded like "We aren't having kids while we live with her, and since he wants kids we have to move out soon" which would imply to me that the reason was partially to have kids.
Not typically before the marriage in the early stages of the relationship.
In your case the seeds of conflict are already sown. You already have strife with his mom, there's going to be arguing, you will expect him to take your side, he'll be caught in the middle, probably will try to appease his mom, how will you feel about that?
Look, you are the one with the doubts, that's why you started this thread in the first place. The posters here are just trying to make you aware of the potential problems.
You've already stated you're going ahead with the wedding so what's left to discuss? You'll realize soon enough how good an idea this is. You just wanted everyone to tell you "oh go ahead with the wedding and move in with his mom, everything will be ok". Since you're getting advice to the contrary you are now in defensive mode and that's not helpful.
Yes, but that's some people. I'm not "some" people. People are different and some are better with relationships than others. Mine is working out fine and it's never been "I love you" one day and "I need space" the next. We've never needed space from one another, thank you...
neither did me and mine...
until she did decide that after almost a year of being engaged.
Exactly.. You're welcome..
I plan on getting a job soon after we get everything else out of the way and after I get my license and all that.
Oh, you don't have your license yet?
Hm... I'm not saying this to change your mind or to upset you, it is my honest opinion. Please do not take this the wrong way.
I realize that you love him, but I believe that you are rushing things. I realize that I may be doing the same thing, but you haven't been dating for even a year.. it worries me. Also, I think that you should really get on your feet before marriage. By that, I mean that you should get a job and your license, at the very least. Maybe wait until you're 18. Doesnt your parent have to give consent for the age that you are?
Also, school is very important. Even if you believe that there is not much more to learn, if you do not have any sort of degree or high school diploma, you will have a very tough life financially. Without a degree, how can you start a career to support yourself?
Again, I think that my biggest concern is how long you have been dating this man. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, but I would not even consider marrying right now. And definitely if I was not able to help support us.
I'm very sorry, I realize that this is not what you want to hear, but I truly hope that it will give you something to think about.
82Likes
Re: Newlyweds 
I hope all goes well for you when you decide to marry too. I'm apparently doing it too soon. According to everyone, I'm not ready and I'm rushing it and it's too soon. But who are they to say so? Yeah.. good luck (:
