Re: Wife left me. Say's she loves me but not in love.
"My wife just keeps telling me she doesn't want to be married. But at the same time she is telling me that there could be a chance because she hasn't left or gave me the divorce paperwork. What am I suppose to do? Just sit and wait?" [/I]
Ok...she has to make a decision one way or the other--and it is not unfair for you to insist on that. If she doesn't want to be married, then it is best to move on. Maybe if you tell her that at the end of the lease, if she hasn't made it clear she wants to remain married, then that will be the end of it. Of course, if you cannot wait that long (which I would understand) then make the deadline sooner. Either way, she can't force you to stay in limbo.
In my situation, I moved out and my husband and I went to counseling for 4 months. We had our last free session last Friday. When asked if he wanted me to move back, he said he didn't know. Well, that puts me in the same position of limbo because I want to move back to continue working on the marriage. So, I told him that until he can tell me what he wants and is willing to show the effort, I'm not pushing it anymore. I've already got my own place so for me it's just the emotional disconnection now. I figure when the time comes for me to renew my lease, if he still hasn't shown any effort or expressed a desire to stay married, then I'll file for divorce.
I'm sorry you're going through such pain and encourage you to take control of your own boundaries (i.e., what you're willing to put up with).