General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Flirting is poison. As the TT came out, it started with, "you know I like to flirt". I was incredibly naive and uninformed. I thought flirting was a smile or a minor touch. I didn't think about the signals it was sending and had no concept of consequences because I could never imagine my wife being anything but faithful. I had no idea of what a rush my wife got from the outside validation. There came a time when I asked, does innocent flirting include touching? Yes. Holding hands? Yes. Going out with someone when I am out of town? Yes. Still just flirting...prolonged hugging? Yes. Kissing on the mouth? Yes, still just flirting.
A real progression. Does flirting include letting a guy touch your private parts? Yes. Does flirting include grabbing his D---? Yes. Does flirting include getting naked with another guy and rubbing each others' genitals? Yes. Does flirting include a BJ? Yes.
Flirting, to her at that point, was everything short of intercourse.
And, of course, intercourse eventually followed.
We're in recovery and together. It's been difficult to get her off of this flirting drug. The battle now is stopping email and Skype and telephonic "oh, he just called to say hello and said to say hi to you". Don't worry, he knows I'm married and love you. She still doesn't understand that these words are not a stop sign but instead a flirting sign that says "let the games begin and let's get ready to rumble".
Flirting with others has no place in a marriage. Harmless flirting with others? No such thing. Posted via Mobile Device
This isn't flirting lovelygirl, its bordering on harrassment. Sexual harrassment is, like beauty, in the eye of the beholder. He may not even realise he is overstepping the mark (but then again he could and doesn't care - even more dangerous). If the feelings aren't mutual, then its harrassment. Flirting comes with a caveat....if its reciprocated, its attraction (even unacted upon), if its rejected but continues from the other party, its quickly becomes harrassment. Would you put up with this behaviour from someone outside of your workplace? If not, I think you have your answer.
Also, if you don't feel you can confront this man, enlist the help on someone else you trust at work to report this to. I wish you all the best.
Flirting is poison. As the TT came out, it started with, "you know I like to flirt". I was incredibly naive and uninformed. I thought flirting was a smile or a minor touch. I didn't think about the signals it was sending and had no concept of consequences because I could never imagine my wife being anything but faithful. I had no idea of what a rush my wife got from the outside validation. There came a time when I asked, does innocent flirting include touching? Yes. Holding hands? Yes. Going out with someone when I am out of town? Yes. Still just flirting...prolonged hugging? Yes. Kissing on the mouth? Yes, still just flirting.
A real progression. Does flirting include letting a guy touch your private parts? Yes. Does flirting include grabbing his D---? Yes. Does flirting include getting naked with another guy and rubbing each others' genitals? Yes. Does flirting include a BJ? Yes.
Flirting, to her at that point, was everything short of intercourse.
And, of course, intercourse eventually followed.
We're in recovery and together. It's been difficult to get her off of this flirting drug. The battle now is stopping email and Skype and telephonic "oh, he just called to say hello and said to say hi to you". Don't worry, he knows I'm married and love you. She still doesn't understand that these words are not a stop sign but instead a flirting sign that says "let the games begin and let's get ready to rumble".
Flirting with others has no place in a marriage. Harmless flirting with others? No such thing. Posted via Mobile Device
every time i have flirted it has been with an attractive woman i liked in some way either a female friend (who i likely had something with or dated before hand) or with a new female friend who i liked but didnt like me or maybe i liked and wanted to get with. Or with a girl i was with
or with an attractive female i wished to date or be with.
I have never flirted without having some fantasy of doing something with that girl.
It depends on how you define flirting. My flaming gay neighbor has a b-day bash every year that I go to. And it's fun to get into the double entendres with some of the guys. But maybe that is an extreme example since I know I'm not going home with any of those guys.
But also my mother always welcomes a good "you're the mother, I thought you were one of the daughters." line.
I would hope that flirting doesn't always have to be a come on but just friendly banter.
I had to think about this. I don't know that I really have such a concept. I circulate among a fair number of women. Some of them I like and so I'm friendly with. Others I don't so I'm more business-like. Some of them are pretty, others not so much. I just interact with all of them in whatever way seems appropriate and natural.
Neither Carol or myself assesses any risk with me interacting with any female I want to pretty much in any way I want to (let's not get beyond "flirting" here). Carol attempting to limit my actions where there is no risk would be a relationship foul in both our minds.
I don't think I buy that all flirting always leads to sexual intercourse. There are married female friends in our circle of friends (wife and I) that I flirt with sometimes. She does the same with the men. We do NOT want to have sex with them. For us flirting is safe in this context. I do not flirt in the work context because it is not safe. Women could misinterpret me and no matter how they misinterpreted what I said, it would be bad for my wife and I.
That being said, this is NOT your situation. In this context this guy definitely wants to have sex with you.
12Likes
Re: the concept of flirting according to you. 
