Husband's gay friend
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Old 04-17-2012, 02:23 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband's gay friend

My husband has a gay friend that he works with. This guy has his own gay friends he hangs out with but he spends a lot of time with all the straight guys at work including my husband.
They're a group of about 10 of them and they like to hang out on weekends and ride dirt bikes and camp out. They all tease him and crack gay jokes all in fun.
They love bringing him along because he's the only one that can cook and he cooks them really delicious meals!
One time when my husband came home from a camping trip he mentioned that this gay guy made a delicious pasta salad, he said it was the best one he ever had. Then a few days later my husband got home from work with a tupperwear container with this pasta salad and said his friend made him some. The other guys ask him for certain things but he will only make them for my husband.
Many, many other times when we've been out together with him if we are all sitting at a table eating, this guy will get up and get my husband a drink or a napkin, he totally caters to him and him only. I've felt awkward at times when my husband has needed something and he jumps up and gets it before i do. All the guys laugh and tease that this guy is in love with my husband. could it be that he is?
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Old 04-17-2012, 02:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband's gay friend

it could be unrequited love I suppose, but it smacks more of toadyism to me
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Old 04-17-2012, 02:28 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband's gay friend

Sounds like it your husband inst a mailman is he just kidding
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Sounds like your husband's gay friend has a "man crush" on your husband. Are you sure your husband isn't bi?



Nothing wrong with having gay friends, but ONE gay in a crowd of (supposedly) straight men seems very odd to me.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:06 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband's gay friend

Tell your H not to drop the soap.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:11 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband's gay friend

Sure, he could be. If you're confident that your H is in no way planning to cheat and that his friend won't try to break up your M, I'd let it go. I don't agree that one gay man in a group of straights is odd, either. I know a couple different groups of guys where this is the case.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Sure, he could be. If you're confident that your H is in no way planning to cheat and that his friend won't try to break up your M, I'd let it go. I don't agree that one gay man in a group of straights is odd, either. I know a couple different groups of guys where this is the case.
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TWO gay men hanging with straight men is not so out of the ordinary, but ONE..........

Unless they've been friends for a long time, then it makes more sense.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:17 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband's gay friend

This sounds like some mess is about to brew before too long with all this camping, cooking and over nighting.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:19 PM   #9 (permalink)
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This sounds like some mess is about to brew before too long with all this camping, cooking and over nighting.
........and doting over the OP's husband!
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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TWO gay men hanging with straight men is not so out of the ordinary, but ONE..........

Unless they've been friends for a long time, then it makes more sense.
I don't understand why you think this way, really. Gay men have interests beyond their love life. Naturally it results in different groups of friends where there's not always another gay man around. There's nothing odd about it at all.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I don't understand why you think this way, really. Gay men have interests beyond their love life. Naturally it results in different groups of friends where there's not always another gay man around. There's nothing odd about it at all.
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Sorry, but I know alot of gay people and they usually like to hang with their own...............at least ONE. JMO!!
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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My husbands friend from university is gay. At first I thought it was a crush but it isnt. He is just a really nice man who happens to have a straight man as a friend. I think if your husband is not happy with things, he needs to tell him but if he is okay it doesnt sound weird to me. It sounds like he is the only gay man at work and wants to hang out with other workers. Yes? I dont see anything wrong with that. Again if your husband feels this is weird then he needs to say something but I wouldnt worry so much about it. Hope this helps.

Last edited by MominMayberry; 04-17-2012 at 03:37 PM.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Sorry, but I know alot of gay people and they usually like to hang with their own...............at least ONE. JMO!!
Fair enough. That's not my experience. Perhaps this behavior is regional?

Moving on...
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:43 PM   #14 (permalink)
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This sounds like some mess is about to brew before too long with all this camping, cooking and over nighting.
Actually, not necessarily. My husband's best friend is gay. They used to spend up to a week at a time sailing on the Chesapeake Bay. This guy was gay, but he was staying waaayyyy in the closet, because his parents (devout Catholics) are still alive.

It was one of those don't-ask-don't-tell situations. Hey, if the bf's family wanted to be in denial of the obvious, fine with me. As for my husband; TOTALLY heterosexual.

I asked my gay cousin about this situation. He told me he has a number of straight men as friends, and it is nothing more. He loves them like brothers, but he isn't going to hit on them; it would be an offense to him and his friends.

Your husband's gay friend may just really like him. A crush? Possible, but not probable. If your husband isn't doing anything weird, I wouldn't worry.

Like I said, my husband lived in close quarters on a sailboat with his best friend. NOTHING ever happened. Do I have any doubts? Nope. Hubs was/is a drunk, but he doesn't swing both ways.
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I don't understand why you think this way, really. Gay men have interests beyond their love life. Naturally it results in different groups of friends where there's not always another gay man around. There's nothing odd about it at all.
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I agree with this. All people have interests and sex orientation doesnt matter. It sounds like he is trying to fit in with his non gay other workers. This makes sense and he would be dumb to let his sex preference block him from hanging out with the other guys. He should be treated the same.
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