humanbecoming

i will destroy the breakfast cereal jingle, but here goes:

Sillygirl, unmarried d1cks are for unmarried chicks!

bandit.45

This thread gave me a headache.
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sillygurl

oh yeah? Well, this thread helped me a lot for sure.

calvin

Bandits a good guy,hes been through a lot.A lot of "crushes" start out small,then before you know it,things are way out of control.Dont let that happen,always a price to pay.Thing I'm getting a little sick myself..grown adutls acting like teenagers...ugh.
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lovesherman

Bandit was triggered by your situation; he didn't mean that your problem was trivial. So glad that you realized that we all can be tempted, but the grass is not greener, and you can keep your marriage strong by paying attention to your husband.

that_girl

And make your marriage a priority. MAKE the time. No excuses.

__________________

bandit.45

I'm tired of morally vacuous, styrofoam people.
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Shaggy

Hey Sillygirl , your husband hasn't been distant. He has given you the freedom to focus on your studies and on yourself because he loves you and trusts you I don't doubt he wants to consune every minute of your day. Buthe respects your going to school and how much of your time and passion that it requires. He is sacraficing his time with you so that you succeed.

Don't pay him back with betrayal.
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eowyn

You say your husband has a lot of principles and this other guy has a lot of principles as well. Why don't you join the gang and start having principles yourself? As someone mentioned before I too sympathize with your husband and wouldn't wish my enemy to be in his situation. Is he also paying for your education?

I read your latest post and looks like you are working on it which is great, however if you feel yourself being lured by your thoughts just look into a magic ball. If this goes further I don't think your husband would forgive you, and neither do I think the other guy would like to have an affair with you. You will be all alone. You are walking towards your own destruction and 'now' is the time to turn back. Sometimes fear and guilt gets us walking on the right track and it is never too late for that.

Here is an odd advice. From tomorrow, start looking at the other guy like he is your brother and all your feelings of passion etc will just go away. He should just be off-limits to you and your thoughts no matter what (not part of your syllabus)

Or consider taking a break from college.

that_girl

Remember! The crush takes big poops! HUGE! Sits and grunts all nasty.

Eww.

__________________

sillygurl

Calvin, I've not been around for long and so I don't know anyone here. When I actually read the post I felt my problem was belittled, although it is an issue for me. It toook me almost a month to get the courage to post on an anonymous forum,let alone talk to a friend.

Anyway, Bandit : I apologize for taking it in the wrong spirit.

EDIT: I just googled for "married and having a crush" to make sure I'm not the only person going through this and many results popped up. I see that I'm not alone and this is a genuine issue because it could lead to an affair,cheating etc. And, everyone who has posted such a problem is definitely not a teenager. We, as adults , do need a little direction sometimes and I'm glad that TAM gave me that.

sillygurl

Shaggy, you got me. I agree 100%. I should not be doing this and you are correct - h knows how much I'm enjoying my program minus the guy ofcourse

sillygurl

Brilliant advice. I'm going to change my mind set.

About paying for my education - I'm in a full-time program, so cannot commit to a job now and obviously the family expenses are paid by him and also part of tuition. The remaining tuition I pay from my savings.

eowyn

I am glad you liked the advice. He is also younger to you so consider him as your younger brother. I am sure it will work.

Also from all your posts looks like your husband is a great guy. Read some of the posts on this forum and you will start appreciating your husband. Consider yourself lucky for what you have and you will not find the need to look around.

Lastly, if you have any feeling of guilt due to your thoughts thus far, give yourself a break. It is okay to be misled by your thoughts once in a while. It takes lot of strength and character to correct yourself and get back on track.

I think you have a great attitude and you will be able to condense this fog and be done with this whole thing sooner than you think. I read somewhere that "A dense fog that covers seven city blocks can be condensed into a 12-ounce glass" Goodluck to you and your H!

sillygurl

eowyn, younger brother! Nice thought. I'm putting that into my head right now.
Yep, my H is a great guy. I think I just got carried away because of lack of excitement and 4 years of marriage LOL

I love the way you wrote about the fog. Thanks