Re: Husband's married coworker won't leave him alone
I know I'm late to this thread (as I just came across this website today), but I'm really glad everything worked out for you, Leah. Your husband sounds like a good guy.
I had a similar situation to yours. My boyfriend has a co-supervisor who is a big flirt, and also married with a new baby. My boyfriend and other sources I have who work there all have told me that she flirts with multiple guys, including my boyfriend, and she had hit on and made passes at two male friends of mine who used to intern there. He talked about her every now and then and referred to her as a good friend. Before I began dating my boyfriend, I used to intern with them and had seen them interact...she came off to me more as an "attention wh*re" than actually having an interest in my boyfriend.
She would text him several times a week about nothing in particular, and like your husband, though he never initiated, he would respond sometimes, and they'd text back and forth for about 15-20 minutes in front of me. Sometimes, he wouldn't respond to her at all.
She's also texted him while we were on vacation, early in the relationship!
She used to ask him for favors all the time, such as giving her a ride to and from work, of which he stopped when we began dating, and keeping things for her at his house.
He has lunch with the same group of coworkers, of which she is part of.
She even wanted him to go away with her to take a weekend course as required by their workplace. Since it was my birthday that weekend, he declined and she ended up going with some other guy they worked with.
I had made several mentions to my boyfriend about her, and their contact in the past few months has dwindled significantly. I think her husband also caught wind of what she was doing and I heard, got mad at her and told her to tone it down.
I had also heard that she behaved the same way and got a little too friendly with a previous co-supervisor, so I didn't put it past her to try and make a move on my boyfriend.
I also asked that he call or text me during his lunch hour so she could see that I would always come before her, and I used to have lunch with him on my days off. We also have each other's passwords to email addresses, phones, Facebook, and computers.
A week ago, I heard from his sister that she, who is normally very easygoing and also works with them, did not trust her, and finally, I had a frank talk with my boyfriend about it, presented all the facts to him about why I hadn't trusted her since day 1, and asked him, nicely, to stop all communication outside work with her unless it was strictly work-related, out of respect for me. He said he didn't know it upset me this much and agreed to stop. Luckily, another guy has started working closely with both of them, one who she apparently likes a lot, so hopefully she'll go bother him instead from now on.
Unfortunately, they are co-supervisors and need to be in contact during work, but I trust that he'll keep his word and respect my feelings. Although if I see anything else potentially suspicious, I'm ready so speak up again, and go to her husband if necessary. So yes, it is better to catch a potential EA-in-the-making early and stop it in his tracks, because your SO may not think they are doing anything wrong. My boyfriend was oblivious and thought that by responding to her, he was just being friendly, as he was to everyone =p
Last edited by galian84; 05-07-2012 at 05:51 PM.
Reason: Edited the format =]