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Old 04-28-2012, 09:19 AM   #121 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Leahcar1985 View Post
Well, think husband may have gotten his point across. Miss chatty didn't say a word today.
Are you sure they haven't went underground, Leah? As obsessed as she is I doubt one day of not answering her back is going to stop her. I hope it worked, but I would be very leary. Check your phone records, it's pretty easy to do and can even be done online with most carriers, no way to hide that. If you see a number your not accustomed to, call it.

Good Luck, sweetie
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Old 04-28-2012, 09:30 AM   #122 (permalink)
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Get your husbands phone (this shouldn't be a problem if he has nothing to hide) and the next time she text him, you answer back saying, "This is his wife, (your name), he isn't able to text you back right now so he asked me to." Then, be very cordial and if the text isn't about business say, "This is obviously not about business, did you accidentally text my husband instead of yours?" Play dumb and innocent see what you get back.

Tell her you have no problem with her texting, calling or facebooking your husband if it is work related but when he isn't working you would rather she wouldn't bother him. Be nice but set his boundaries for him because obviously he hasn't.
Agreed except re facebooking. There is no work-related facebooking unless you're in PR, and then your interface is the public, not your colleagues.
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Old 04-28-2012, 09:36 AM   #123 (permalink)
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Yea. NO reason to FB at all. Business or otherwise.

Even texting past a certain hour is rude. Hubs had a couple friends (male and female) who would call/text at 10:30pm! HELLO! he's not single any longer! We go to bed at 10 because we WORK.

Hopefully the OP's problem is resolved and her husband got his head out of his ass.
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Old 04-28-2012, 09:54 AM   #124 (permalink)
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Husband had the conversation with her today. He said, "I haven't responded to your emails and texts the last couple of days because I don't feel it is a healthy and appropriate work relationship and it makes me feel uncomfortable." I guess once he said that her whole demeanor changed and said she was sorry a bunch of times. He said he could tell it hit home for her. And that was the conversation.
After he had this conversation with her on Tuesday, she did not talk to him Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Has anyone else had this type of outcome with a situation like this? She is obviously upset, they do go to meetings together and he has to deal with her department. Hoping this lasts, but I am leery since it just stopped completely. I am really glad it did though!
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Old 04-28-2012, 10:01 AM   #125 (permalink)
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perhaps she's embarrassed about the 'matching outfits' conversation cos I sure as hell would be
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Old 04-28-2012, 11:43 AM   #126 (permalink)
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I hope for the best outcome, of course, but keep in mind that your husband may be lying to you to keep the peace. People have been known to do it!
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Old 05-03-2012, 10:52 AM   #127 (permalink)
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Well it's been over a week and I haven't heard any crazy stories from my husband about his coworker, so that's good news. So glad I put a stop to this when I did, I now realize she's a bozo and I have been sleeping a lot better!

I did notice a picture text from her number on our phone bill from when she was on vacation, so of course I had to check it out. It was the usual photo you would text your co-worker, you know the one on the beach with beer in hand with the caption something like "Thinking of you all working hard at work " Cause we all do that, while were on vacation with our families. HA!

Anyway, thanks for all the advice, this is a great site!
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:33 PM   #128 (permalink)
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First of all, what is she doing with his cell phone number and why does he have her friended on FB?? Same thing with personal emails. Is she emailing his personal address or his work address??

I'd play some hardball honey!! Some guys think it's just plain flattering to have some female interested in them and innocent as it may seem to have someone bat their eyes at them...all of a sudden, they have a fight with their wife or something..and all innocence flies right out the window.

If he's got a work cell phone...it gets shut off at night. She gets "unfriended" and blocked on FB. His personal emails?? Change his email address. If she emails his work email with personal stuff...keep copies of it and mail them anonymously to HR.

Then it gets down to the nitty gritty....watch his personal cell phone for texts from her (you've got her number...look for it on the bill..) Ask for any and all of his passwords to FB...Yahoo Messenger, etc. (and I know this one sucks but if there's nothing going on between them..he'll be happy to give them to you).

I've been there..done that honey and your hubby most likely isn't cheating..he just enjoys the attention. She's probably some married high maintenance ***** that's bored as hell with her fat bald ugly rich husband as she wears high class clothes and expensive perfume to work thinking that she can get any guy in the place to sleep with her.

In the meantime, while you're at it..if he gets an email or text from her..tell him you'll stop at nothing to report her to HR. Bottom line is..don't let her know she's getting to you..that's what she wants..to break up a marriage as she's probably broken up several others.

And btw...I agree with golfergirl completely!! Women like her make me want to puke!!

Hang in their girlfriend..and get tough with this!! If it were me..I'd be meeting her in the parking lot and punching her man made plastic nose into the middle of her forehead..lol!!


Stay strong..and you go girl!!!
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Old 05-07-2012, 05:33 AM   #129 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Leahcar1985 View Post
After he had this conversation with her on Tuesday, she did not talk to him Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. Has anyone else had this type of outcome with a situation like this? She is obviously upset, they do go to meetings together and he has to deal with her department. Hoping this lasts, but I am leery since it just stopped completely. I am really glad it did though!
She has probably done this to every man and has had multiple affairs. She knows when to cool it or lose her job. Every company has a sexual harassment policy and he could have her job already if he wanted.

I hope she knows her boundaries now and gets out of your marriage for good. Really, happy for you, Leah

Take Care
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:21 AM   #130 (permalink)
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Leahcar1985, i know exactly how you feel - my husband and i have been going through the exact same thing, we have been married for 11 years (we married young 20 + 21) and he and I have always have co-worker "friends" that we text and FB - we also have always had a wonderful relationship. However, recently a new woman 38, married to a 28 year old and have 5 year old twins started working at his his office. I didn't think anything about the texting at first but it seemed to be becoming constant - while we were at home in the evening and on the weekend sometimes every hour! I asked him what it was all about and like your husband he didn't initiate the communication but always responded. It was always little stuff and then like your situation asking him our to drinks with the rest of the co-workers. I was really angry because i knew exactly what she is trying to doing, my husband and i talked it all out and he said he would tell her that it was getting to be to much - if she needed something about work that would be fine but otherwise his time at home was for me and our family. Not sure if this has actually happened?? but I have to trust him or our relationship is over.

P.S. stop reading his emails and texts, this will only drive you crazy and if you don't have trust in him then i doubt it can ever be regained to what it was before. Whatever happens is going to happen, have faith in your husband - he sounds like a good guy just stuck between his job and a crazy woman.

Hang in there!!!
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Old 05-07-2012, 11:15 AM   #131 (permalink)
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Leahcar1985, i know exactly how you feel - my husband and i have been going through the exact same thing, we have been married for 11 years (we married young 20 + 21) and he and I have always have co-worker "friends" that we text and FB - we also have always had a wonderful relationship. However, recently a new woman 38, married to a 28 year old and have 5 year old twins started working at his his office. I didn't think anything about the texting at first but it seemed to be becoming constant - while we were at home in the evening and on the weekend sometimes every hour! I asked him what it was all about and like your husband he didn't initiate the communication but always responded. It was always little stuff and then like your situation asking him our to drinks with the rest of the co-workers. I was really angry because i knew exactly what she is trying to doing, my husband and i talked it all out and he said he would tell her that it was getting to be to much - if she needed something about work that would be fine but otherwise his time at home was for me and our family. Not sure if this has actually happened?? but I have to trust him or our relationship is over.

P.S. stop reading his emails and texts, this will only drive you crazy and if you don't have trust in him then i doubt it can ever be regained to what it was before. Whatever happens is going to happen, have faith in your husband - he sounds like a good guy just stuck between his job and a crazy woman.

Hang in there!!!
Thanks, I haven't read his emails or texts since he talked to her. I donít even like talking about her or the situation with him, but I have made a comment or two on how I don't like her. I donít know how their work relationship is going. It would be easier for me if they just worked in the same building and he didn't have to deal with her directly on certain things. It would also be nice if he saw how childish she is, sadly, I donít think thatís the case.

Heís always had coworker friends on Facebook and I never had a problem with it. I had never even thought of checking his phone before this situation, and never looked at our phone records online. She crossed the line and I'm glad I intervened when I did, now we can both move on.

I wouldn't be able to be married if there was no trust in the relationship. I trust that he has taken care of the situation and will keep it work appropriate for the sake of our marriage.
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Old 05-07-2012, 03:17 PM   #132 (permalink)
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I totally agree, men seem so oblivious sometimes to other women's childish behavior and or tricks, it really amazes me that my husband doesn't think that she is attracted to him at all - he says "she treats all the guys at work like this" if that is true then his company has a big problem. The imagination is a terrible thing and can sometimes run away - (I know!) like you i thought about stopping in one day and being really friendly to her - but i was afraid that may spark her to try even harder.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:12 PM   #133 (permalink)
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I hope this is the only EA type scenerio you deal with with him...

FYI Over the 15yrs my partner and I have been together-there have been MANY women who've thrown themselves at my partner Many times him and I had the very same conversations you and your husband did. Whether these husbands of ours are truly ignorant of these women-BEWARE and be diligent in continuing to randomly check.

I got to work with my husband a couple years ago...and was hurt to find out he was active in flirting with all sorts of coworkers(he's 44yrs and would always go for the 20-25yr olds!!). I ended up giving the death stare to one young(22yr old)coworker who insisted letting him see her thong when she bent over was "ok". This same chick KNEW me and KNEW we were married and seemed to think she could somehow *grab* him away 'cause he was a good catch(if only she knew what our marriage has "really" been like I learned that even though he told people he was married,he was actually portraying he was in the market to these women(some ruthless others naive)...the reality of seeing this part of my husband was painful beyond words. I realized at that point that my partner is a good liar and manipulates to get what he wants.

No matter how many years go by-randomly check up on him. You deserve to know-and if he truly is being honest and open,he won't mind.
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Old 05-07-2012, 04:45 PM   #134 (permalink)
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I know I'm late to this thread (as I just came across this website today), but I'm really glad everything worked out for you, Leah. Your husband sounds like a good guy.

I had a similar situation to yours. My boyfriend has a co-supervisor who is a big flirt, and also married with a new baby. My boyfriend and other sources I have who work there all have told me that she flirts with multiple guys, including my boyfriend, and she had hit on and made passes at two male friends of mine who used to intern there. He talked about her every now and then and referred to her as a good friend. Before I began dating my boyfriend, I used to intern with them and had seen them interact...she came off to me more as an "attention wh*re" than actually having an interest in my boyfriend.

She would text him several times a week about nothing in particular, and like your husband, though he never initiated, he would respond sometimes, and they'd text back and forth for about 15-20 minutes in front of me. Sometimes, he wouldn't respond to her at all.
She's also texted him while we were on vacation, early in the relationship!
She used to ask him for favors all the time, such as giving her a ride to and from work, of which he stopped when we began dating, and keeping things for her at his house.
He has lunch with the same group of coworkers, of which she is part of.
She even wanted him to go away with her to take a weekend course as required by their workplace. Since it was my birthday that weekend, he declined and she ended up going with some other guy they worked with.

I had made several mentions to my boyfriend about her, and their contact in the past few months has dwindled significantly. I think her husband also caught wind of what she was doing and I heard, got mad at her and told her to tone it down.

I had also heard that she behaved the same way and got a little too friendly with a previous co-supervisor, so I didn't put it past her to try and make a move on my boyfriend.

I also asked that he call or text me during his lunch hour so she could see that I would always come before her, and I used to have lunch with him on my days off. We also have each other's passwords to email addresses, phones, Facebook, and computers.

A week ago, I heard from his sister that she, who is normally very easygoing and also works with them, did not trust her, and finally, I had a frank talk with my boyfriend about it, presented all the facts to him about why I hadn't trusted her since day 1, and asked him, nicely, to stop all communication outside work with her unless it was strictly work-related, out of respect for me. He said he didn't know it upset me this much and agreed to stop. Luckily, another guy has started working closely with both of them, one who she apparently likes a lot, so hopefully she'll go bother him instead from now on.

Unfortunately, they are co-supervisors and need to be in contact during work, but I trust that he'll keep his word and respect my feelings. Although if I see anything else potentially suspicious, I'm ready so speak up again, and go to her husband if necessary. So yes, it is better to catch a potential EA-in-the-making early and stop it in his tracks, because your SO may not think they are doing anything wrong. My boyfriend was oblivious and thought that by responding to her, he was just being friendly, as he was to everyone =p

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Old 05-07-2012, 07:46 PM   #135 (permalink)
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I totally agree, men seem so oblivious sometimes to other women's childish behavior and or tricks, it really amazes me that my husband doesn't think that she is attracted to him at all - he says "she treats all the guys at work like this" if that is true then his company has a big problem. The imagination is a terrible thing and can sometimes run away - (I know!) like you i thought about stopping in one day and being really friendly to her - but i was afraid that may spark her to try even harder.
Yes, my husband brushed it off early on saying it wasn't what I thought since she had a family at home and she was just an overly friendly person. I'll be going into his work soon since our 1 year wedding anniversary is coming up next week. If I see her, I hope she feels threatened by me!
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