Husband's married coworker won't leave him alone
I am new to this site and need some advice on how to deal with a new situation in our marriage. I looked around the site but couldn't find an exact situation like I am in, no infidelity yet. Sorry if it drags on.
I am 27 years old and have been with my husband for a little over 8 years and our first wedding anniversary is coming up next month in May. We have a great relationship, love each other dearly and have fun together.
My husband recently got a new job in January as a healthcare manager. After about a week on the job he would come home and mention a female coworker's name. He is 26 and she is 37, married with two kids. He would mention anything and everything from her telling him how good he looked that day, (which was almost everyday) to how funny she is, etc. This happened every night until after 2 months or so, I heard enough of her name and discussed my feelings with him. I told him I am glad he made some new friends at work but do not want to hear about her everyday and to keep the relationship at work. He said okay and didn't really mention her name much after that.
Last month I noticed he was talking to her on facebook through a private message, this was after work later in the evenings. I was home and sometimes on the same couch with him but didn't ask about it. He never mentioned talking to her, but rarely does with anyone he talks to, so I didn't think anything of it.
Then a few Fridays back he went out for a drink with his coworkers after work. He came home and I guess a few people went to another bar, including her. She text him asking him to come back out and he declined, I wasn't feeling well and we had just bought a house and he was supposed to be at the house working on it. We went to bed and she text him again. This time asking him to be her designated driver, come share stories but come only if he wants to. The texts went back and forth but he never went back out. Fast forward to the next Friday and she text him asking him to pick her up to go out to the bar. He declined again because we were working on our new house. I figured he was texting her this time because of his smirks.
After finding a few more texts and facebook messages, I confronted him. There was a little bantering but nothing sexual from him. (She did ask if she could wear one of her favorite shirts of his that he wears to work if her family came over to our new home because they would be "slumming" it in our neighorborhood, they live in a very prestigious part of town and although we live a minute away from them and also in a great neighborhood it's considered a different part of town.) He said although she was his best friend at work he understood how I felt and would try to keep the relationship at work. She was going on vacation the next week so I'm pretty sure there was no communication.
Now I find a ton of emails from her using company email that have nothing to do with work. She always asks him to bring her a snack or drinks, ask where he is, etc. He never initiates the emails but does respond and there have been hundreds. When he doesn't repsond she asks why. She is constantly chatting him up and I am afraid he will get in trouble because of all the non work related emails. I also think she is emtionally attached to him. I confronted him again this time about the emails specifically and he said he would have a conversation with her because he did already tell her the frequent emails were annoying when he was trying to get work done. It has been a week and he still has not said anything to her.
I have alot of issues with the situation and am driving myself crazy. I am always wondering how many times she emails or texts him during the day and find myself checking his phone when I can, which is hard because he always has it on him due to work. I feel like a hawk and hate that I feel this way. Should I be feeling this way or is this relationship inappropriate? Please help before I go nuts! Thanks!