General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
Every now and then each of the partners needs some time alone with his/her friends so I see no big deal in going out with mates alone, without the partner.
It's the same for girls. They want to have a night out with other girls because going out always with your partner could become a monotony, right?
Marraige friendly GNOs are essential. But does going out with friends mean going out clubbing? Do the friends have to be members of the opposite sex?
Why not select more marriage friendly activities? This seems like single stuff to me.
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"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
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Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
I have a friend of mine who's been engaged for about 5 years now -[though they've been together for 8 years in total].
Her man wants to go out every single night clubbing and drinking [with or without her]
I don't see it as something healthy for this relationship/engagement.
The guy is 34 and she's 24.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
That's what I was trying to say. Hitting the club to dance with random people is not okay.
Hitting the club to dance with your friends is okay. IMHO.
You are suggesting you hit the club with guy friends? Along with other folks, single and married. Only dance with guys you have a bond with already? LOL. WOW. Right. Just friends. I get it. The guy your hubby should be most concerned about is not the random guy. He should worry more about the guy at the club with you who is doing the c0ckblocking. The guy who is protecting you. That is the guy who is a bigger long term threat to him and his marriage. The other guy the wife trusts.
Multiple threads going on now about opposite sex friends and what the boundaries should be. Yes it varies but I think it is worth examining the risks involved. Good stuff. Real stuff.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 04-23-2012 at 11:38 AM.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
I have a friend of mine who's been engaged for about 5 years now -[though they've been together for 8 years in total].
Her man wants to go out every single night clubbing and drinking [with or without her]
The guy is 34 and she's 24.
I wonder when this guy will settle down ...
If he's 34 and still doing this while engaged to someone, it's not likely to stop anytime soon.
And by your calculations, they started going together when she was 16...and he was 26. That is creepy.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
I don't know why someone who is already in a relationship feels the need to hit on other people !!!!
No matter where you are, if you're clubbing or not ... why you feel the need to hit on people of the opposite sex ???
That's what I don't understand about people who are excessively flirty and start hitting on someone else who is not his/her partner.
Isn't their partner enough for them??
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
I don't know why someone who is already in a relationship feels the need to hit on other people !!!!
No matter where you are, if you're clubbing or not ... why you feel the need to hit on people of the opposite sex ???
That's what I don't understand about people who are excessively flirty and start hitting on someone else who is not his/her partner.
Isn't their partner enough for them??
They do it becasue they want to and they don't respect their relationship/partner.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans
When you get married, tell this to your husband and see what he says.
My guess is he will feel a lot differently than you do.
As long as the dancing is innocent, not close my guy-friend, no romantic music on the background, no flirty signs and no touching with that guy then I don't see why he wouldn't be okay with that.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
As long as the dancing is innocent, not close my guy-friend, no romantic music on the background, no flirty signs and no touching with that guy then I don't see why he wouldn't be okay with that.
Like I said, when you are married/partnered, tell your guy that and see what he says.
You may feel one way, but that doesn't guarantee your partner will.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Dean*
Lovelygirl,
You had another thread that talked about being a virgin, etc.
A man that is dating someone and still wants to do the club thing
doesn't have good values or good character.
Also if you find a good man and start dating, he most likely will not
put up with you if you continued going clubbing with the girls.
He would move on.Because he would feel your not ready for a steady serious long term relationship.
You're totally right. I agree with you. I wouldn't want my partner to go out clubbing because I'm not the type to go out clubbing with my girls all the time.
I'd be more than happy to go clubbing with him though.
Re: in the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
Suppose you're in a relationship/engagement/marriage.
When you're out in the club with friends [for some reason your partner is not there with you] do you mind dancing with a random person [not with any of your friends] of the opposite sex?
Do you think your partner would like it if they came there by chance and saw you dancing with that random guy/girl?
If you were the partner, would you mind it if your SO did that?
**********************************
Personally I would mind it.
If my SO is out with friends then he can dance with his friends.
I would get jealous to see him dance with a random girl.
Obviously, it matters on the type of dance that they are having. If they are too close to each other then I'd get mad.
Broke up with my ex over that. We were out at her college where I knew no one at the party and she began grinding crotch to crotch with some dude, RIGHT in front of me. For a lonnnnnnnnnngggg time. To the point her friends were looking at me like "dude why are u allowing this?" and meanwhile since I knew no one I was dancing alone just looking at her....
So i walked out..
She followed me angrily and told me i was a 1950s pig. Turns out the guy was gay. How was I to know? Does being gay still mean she can jump on his crotch while Im left alone? Idk.
I used to be ok with her and my other gfs going out, that has soured my experience for life now.
Re: in the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by all4her
Broke up with my ex over that. We were out at her college where I knew no one at the party and she began grinding crotch to crotch with some dude, RIGHT in front of me. For a lonnnnnnnnnngggg time. To the point her friends were looking at me like "dude why are u allowing this?" and meanwhile since I knew no one I was dancing alone just looking at her....
So i walked out..
She followed me angrily and told me i was a 1950s pig. Turns out the guy was gay. How was I to know? Does being gay still mean she can jump on his crotch while Im left alone? Idk.
I used to be ok with her and my other gfs going out, that has soured my experience for life now.
What a b!tch she was!!!!! Just because he was gay this was not an excuse and she treated you like you weren't there!!!!
So disrespectful!!!
Given that she started behaving like that in front of you, imagine what she might have done with other dudes if you hadn't been there!!
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Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex. 
