General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
No, I was talking about guys/girls who hit the club for a drink with other guy/girl - friends.
There's nothing wrong about dancing with a guy-friend of yours.
I was suggesting that you were going to the club to dance with guy friends from your guy/girl group. They generally do the c0ckblocking. I am suggesting that your guy friends are a bigger threat to your husband than the random guy.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Re: in the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by all4her
Broke up with my ex over that. We were out at her college where I knew no one at the party and she began grinding crotch to crotch with some dude, RIGHT in front of me. For a lonnnnnnnnnngggg time. To the point her friends were looking at me like "dude why are u allowing this?" and meanwhile since I knew no one I was dancing alone just looking at her....
So i walked out..
She followed me angrily and told me i was a 1950s pig. Turns out the guy was gay. How was I to know? Does being gay still mean she can jump on his crotch while Im left alone? Idk.
I used to be ok with her and my other gfs going out, that has soured my experience for life now.
LOL. Must be the thing for the day. Wives and GFs with supposedly gay men.
Anyone grinding on your SO that has a penis is bad. I think it goes further than that but lets just deal with this case. Gay? GMAFB.
I am thinking "gay" guys are getting a lot of action these days ... with women.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 04-23-2012 at 12:12 PM.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel5112
Guys are handsy...I recently had to go clubbing as a "team building exercise" and while it was fun for a while, I am not looking for a repeat. I no longer drink in social settings such as that so I had to endure an endless night of "have a shot", "get wasted with us", blah blah blah. I told you I don't drink, respect that. Then I had to endure the endless groping. I mean really...we are standing here in a circle (6 women) dancing with each other. How is that an invitation to hump me? AND when I tell you to fvck off the first time, why do you keep coming back?!?
I ended the night with sore feet, extreme exhaustion, and extreme irritability due the constant molestation. If a guy grabbed my a$$ like that in a normal setting I could have him arrested. Why does me being in a club with loud music and flashing lights make that different?
I enjoyed having dinner with my GF's and dancing with them, but that was about it. My other "lame" friend and I left at about 1AM. It would have been earlier had her husband got off work on time. It was our predetermined excuse. "J is our ride and he gets off at midnight"...thank god for small favors and the work schedule of an EMT.
Yes, guys are handsy. They think if you go to the club you are there to be picked up and / or felt up. It is why they are there. They are not there for the music or the male bonding. It probably works for them often enough and at the least they get to feel on some women. Good times. Then add alcohol. Things can loosen up .... Also some run a kino escalation to break down boundaries.
I have read many times on here that husbands should not be concerned about their wives being felt up and humped on because women can handle this. Which is not even the point. They are still being handled by other men. Some husbands are ok with that. I for one am not ok with guys groping, feeling up and grinding on my wife.
I have seen this type of team building before. But it becomes obvious that the intention is to get the women very drunk. A good time had by all.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 04-23-2012 at 12:48 PM.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Entropy3000
You are suggesting you hit the club with guy friends? Along with other folks, single and married. Only dance with guys you have a bond with already? LOL. WOW. Right. Just friends. I get it. The guy your hubby should be most concerned about is not the random guy. He should worry more about the guy at the club with you who is doing the c0ckblocking. The guy who is protecting you. That is the guy who is a bigger long term threat to him and his marriage. The other guy the wife trusts.
Multiple threads going on now about opposite sex friends and what the boundaries should be. Yes it varies but I think it is worth examining the risks involved. Good stuff. Real stuff.
Entropy,
This is so true.
From experience, the guy doing the ****blocking has a long-term interest and wants something.
I'm sure women enjoy the "protection" he offers - as inappropriate as it may be.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel5112
Obviously I am with you on this one. I can take care of myself and tell a guy to leave me alone (for all the good it does) but it would never even happen if my H was standing there with me. I don't have any desire to dance with or be groped by men who aren't my husband. I suggested we go bowling for our next team building exercise. Neither I nor my friend that I left with that night is up for another clubbing experience.
If my H and I go out it is usually to someplace calm like The Flying Saucer. We just want to have a few beers and talk with friends. THAT is a good time.
Just curoius. How much of this did you share with your hubby? If you did what was his reaction?
I could see a husband hear about this and just go into a fit of uncontrollable laughter and then bring it up for years to come as a teasing dig.
I could see a husband not being the least bit amused but take it in stride that this was a one time thing that you do not intend to do again.
I could also see a husband get upset with the team building exercise selection.
I can also see a husband over-reacting to this as well.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 04-23-2012 at 12:57 PM.
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl
As long as the dancing is innocent, not close my guy-friend, no romantic music on the background, no flirty signs and no touching with that guy then I don't see why he wouldn't be okay with that.
But does this criteria hold up after 3,4 drinks or more?
Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TBT
But does this criteria hold up after 3,4 drinks or more?
It depends on the person.
Speaking for myself:
- I'm not one to have 3-4 drinks, no matter with who I am. I don't have more than 1 drink.
- I don't think I'd dance with a random guy more than once
- Chances are I'd never dance with a random guy
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Re: at the club, dancing with a random opposite sex. 
