lovelygirl

Suppose you're in a relationship/engagement/marriage.
When you're out in the club with friends [for some reason your partner is not there with you] do you mind dancing with a random person [not with any of your friends] of the opposite sex?
Do you think your partner would like it if they came there by chance and saw you dancing with that random guy/girl?


If you were the partner, would you mind it if your SO did that?
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Personally I would mind it.
If my SO is out with friends then he can dance with his friends.
I would get jealous to see him dance with a random girl.
Obviously, it matters on the type of dance that they are having. If they are too close to each other then I'd get mad.

2nd_t!me iz_best

i would have my stuff moved out by the t!me she got home.

Entropy3000

I see this as roughly equivalent to getting a lap dance but much more dangerous for a lot of reasons.

I am assuming a close dance for this. But I would not be crazy about the other either.

This said, this should have been discussed by the couple and part of their agreed upon boundaries. If they agreed to this and then someone gets upset then they need to re-evaluate. If they agreed this was a boundary it falls into inappropriate and a level of being unfaithful by definition.

Some folks are really into dancing and it is a way of life for them and they are ok with all of this.

__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."

lovelygirl

I love dancing!!!
But this is not an excuse to let myself dance with some random guy at the club, shaking my body for/with him. [when already in a relationship]

The same goes for my supposed-partner.

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Also, even now that I'm single I don't like shaking my a$$ to some random guy.
I think lovers dance in a more close&personal way, friends should dance in another way ...and so on.
I dislike it when a random guy wants to dance with me as if we were lovers. But anyway, this is a totally different topic.

kag123

Yes I would mind and I would personally never do that, and I love to dance. I have not danced with a random man since I began dating my husband. I used to go to bars/clubs frequently and anytime that I went alone (meaning, with girlfriends and boyfriend/husband wasn't there) it was overwhelming the amount of men that treated the women like they were all fresh meat there for the taking. I found it did not let up even in the few occasions when I went since being married, wearing my ring. Men would often argue with me about whether I really did have a boyfriend and if you actually did anything like laughing at a joke they made, dancing with them, anything too friendly it was seen as an open invitation for further advances. I seriously found I had to be a complete b!tch in order to keep everything kosher. Hence, I stooped going to those places unless my husband could come with me. I would not be ok with it at all and would consider it a step towards cheating.
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Entropy3000

This is pure gold. Thank you for sharing this. A ring is indeed a target.

__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."

Jeff/BC

Would I mind? It's a pretty unlikely situation honestly. But you know, things happen. Generally I would not be interested or even in that situation but should it come up I'd feel no compunctions about having some fun.

Would she mind? From her lips... "not one bit, but if it was nasty I'd want every last detail."

Now, to be fair, she thought about that a moment and said, "But you're not like other guys."

that_girl

1. I'd never go to a club without my husband.
2. I'd never go to a club.
3. I don't dance.
4. If I did dance, it wouldn't be with another guy.

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2nd_t!me iz_best

but none of us are...until we are.
same with women too

Shaggy

Yes I would mind the dancing, but I even more mind that she would go there without me. Clubs and bars like that are not were people who value their relationship should be going without their SO.
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Mavash.

Once a long time ago I was out of town working and ended up at this bar/restaurant and I danced with a guy I worked with (I was young and stupid). It was one dance that was over in like 3 minutes. I swear it was as plutonic as dancing with the stars.

I would hope my husband wouldn't have my bags packed over THAT. Now if we're talking dirty dancing, booty grinding or a slow dance he'd have a complaint.

These days I'm with that girl. I just don't go dancing or to clubs unless my husband goes with me.

Posse

My wife doesn't mind if I dance with others, within reason.

The last time we were out at a business-related annual event, my wife didn't feel like dancing. I did feel like it however. After taking her around once on the dance floor, she sat down.. I ended up dancing on the floor with whoever was out there.

I calculated after the fact that I was at four unsolicited propositions per hour. I was just looking to have fun and wasn't looking for anything. I can only imagine if I were at a club...

MrK

Ahhh... Nightclubbing spouses. My favorite topic.

First, if your man goes out to the club without you, he is looking to dance with women, not just dance. He has to meet them, introduce himself, be close to them, probably touch them. The mating ritual requires him to buy them drinks. If he does it once a year, I'd be concerned once a year. If he does it regularly, I'd be concerned about your relationship.

And to the few that responded with their innocent brushes with clubbing (wife in the club with you, dragged to a work event an forced into a 3 minute dance), that is entirely different than hitting the club with the guys/gals in order to party it up with members of the opposite sex. That should not be allowed in a committed relationship.

OP. When you go out clubbing, is there full disclosure? He knows everyone you danced with? He knows about the slow dances? The innocent little kisses once the dance is over? He knows about the men you partied with? How long you spent with them? The content of the flirting? Does he know about the little sexual charge you get from all of the men there wanting you? How beautiful some of them are? Oh, I understand that's not the REASON you go, but it's a bit of a thrill, huh?

lovelygirl

So, you're saying that if a guy has a 'guys night out' with his buddies surely he's going to hit on other women or would like to dance with a random girl?

I don't think all men are the same though. Just because a guy is out with his buddies, doesn't mean he's hitting on other women. But maybe I'm too naive to believe the opposite..

MrK

Out with his buddies at a sports bar, they're catching up. A bunch of guys at a pumping nightclub with a bunch of under-dressed hotties sweating to the beat? You're DAMN RIGHT they're scheming on the girls. GUARANTEED. You are hopelessly naive if you think otherwise. What else are they doing? Dancing with each other?

Maybe I should clarify that we're talking straight guys at a hetero meat market, right?

I GUARANTEE they are there for the women.

GUARANTEE!!