General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
its not animosity at all... people work really hard for that body type.. its just not attractive to me.. i know lots of people dont like my body type... i'd take gerard butler over adam brody any day... gimme some meat!
It was Gerard Butler who trained incredibly hard for his build in the movie 300.
I didn't mean to derail your thread earlier. But I think talking to him is definitely the way to go. As a married couple, ideally you'd be able to talk about anything and every thing, including potentially uncomfortable topics.
However... Given you've been married as long as you have and his parents don't know about it yet... I see a whole lot of communication issues in the future. Hopefully I'm wrong on that, though.
my hubs told me if i mess with the size of my boobs or ass he'd be dissapointed.
This comment, combined with the fact that he suggested it "out of the blue" makes me think that he's got an unspoken agenda regarding the appearance of your body. Now, you may not have any problem with that agenda - but the two of you should talk about it.
to spend all this money on a quick fix and potentially dangerous solution isn't such a great idea I think - people die having this procedure, particularly is surgery is a much higher risk for larger people
Another thing is to start replacing high calorie food with low calorie food. This is easy to do, but people hate doing it because low calorie food is way the heck more expensive. That's somewhat ironic. Someone in Africa would think a person is retarded if they would spend more money to get fewer calories.
Remember that this is something you need to do even if you get the surgery. With the fat gone, you want it to stay gone. A big source of my own calories is:
-cream in my coffee
-sugar in my coffee
Instead of putting whipping cream in my coffee, which is 33% fat, I've started using that Coffee Mate whitener. I don't even know what that junk is, but it has almost no calories. As for sugar, I've replaced that with Splenda. This one is brutal on the wallet because a giant bag of sugar is like $3 but a small box of Splenda (700 packets) is $20. Fake sugar has 0 calories.
Another thing to do is eat lots of salad and vegetables. Sometimes I feel low blood sugar and I need calories, but a lot of the time my "hunger" is just a feeling of emptiness. I just need something in my stomach. Anything that takes up space will make it feel better. Vegetables are perfect because they have almost no calories but they still take up space. A bowl of salad with some Italian dressing on it tastes great (because the dressing is almost pure fat) but it's relatively low in calories and it leaves you feeling full for a long time. Things like sugar break down inside of you, so you're left feeling empty again. Fibre, by definition, is food that you can't digest. Fibre isn't even food. It just passes through you the same way bubble gum does.
today when my hubs came home i had on a sexy black dress that makes my boobs look explosive. he told me how sexy i look and how if i got the lipo and my gut was smaller he'd love to see me in corsetts and sexier clothing.
i've done diets before but they really do suck after lik 2 weeks. surviving on salads gets old really fast. but that's not the impossible part. the harder part for me is the getting out and doing stuff part. i work in a bank standing up all day in heels and professional shoes and when i get off work i dont feel like doing ANYTHING. then i have to come home and cook for my hubs... and im just dead by the end of the night.
i'm starting to think he really may not have some ill or selfish intentions about the whole thing...
i know everyone thinks its weird that he hasnt told his parents yet. trust me, i do too. it gets really complicated when race and religion and trying to change the mindset of parents in their 70s come into play. i understand him to an extent. we have an agreement on when he will tell them, and it is well understood that if he doesnt it's a deal breaker for me. i'm sure i'll be posting about it later because his deadline is actually coming up next month.
I'm barely full figured at 200 5'2, so I can't imagine 280 being full figured. If you have decided on doing it, then just do it. Make sure you find a pro-surgeon or look into other after options like stomach clamps or maybe even smart lypo. My aunt got a stomach clamp after being 400 4'11 for a long time and it helps her not be able to eat as much as she did without changing habbits.
Full figured means fat but still very feminine. Some women have really good genetics and they can look great even when they're very big. One of my friends in college had to be about 200 pounds even though she was about 5'5" and she was still a perfect 10. No fat on the face or neck, big boobs, big butt, narrow waist.
Some women have really good genetics and they can look great even when they're very big. One of my friends in college had to be about 200 pounds even though she was about 5'5" and she was still a perfect 10. No fat on the face or neck, big boobs, big butt, narrow waist.
And there are just so many young women like that walking around.
And if those women just made simple changes to their high calorie, bad diet then they would be knock outs.
She did lose a bunch of weight in the last 2 years, but it made her less attractive. She doesn't really have curves anymore. She has that 10 year old boy look that runway models have.
And there are just so many young women like that walking around.
And if those women just made simple changes to their high calorie, bad diet then they would be knock outs.
But they don't want to do that.
I find that hard to understand.
People like different shapes for themselves and for who they want to attract.
I am smack dab in the middle of my normal BMI range, I've been on the higher end and on the extreme low. On the lower end I tended to attract extremely shallow men and men who were mostly going after teenagers because I happen to have a young looking face. Not cool. On the higher end, it was a bit wider range with way less of the skeezers which was nice but I felt out of my body a little bit but I loved having real live curves and felt extremely feminine. People can feel great at all kinds of weights, the thinner you are isn't always the better you feel or even look to yourself.
I feel the most comfortable in my skin right now though in the middle. I still have t&a and I love the soft parts of me more than I like feeling the bones. The best part is being able to indulge in one of lifes best pleasures without feeling guilty or gross while still eating a very healthy diet.
People like different shapes for themselves and for who they want to attract.
I am smack dab in the middle of my normal BMI range, I've been on the higher end and on the extreme low. On the lower end I tended to attract extremely shallow men and men who were mostly going after teenagers because I happen to have a young looking face. Not cool. On the higher end, it was a bit wider range with way less of the skeezers which was nice but I felt out of my body a little bit but I loved having real live curves and felt extremely feminine. People can feel great at all kinds of weights, the thinner you are isn't always the better you feel or even look to yourself.I feel the most comfortable in my skin right now though in the middle. I still have t&a and I love the soft parts of me more than I like feeling the bones. The best part is being able to indulge in one of lifes best pleasures without feeling guilty or gross while still eating a very healthy diet.
Not sure why you think you need to clarify that thinner is not better.
No kidding.
Anyways we were talking about a female who is 5'5 and 200 lbs.
The BMI on that is 33, which is 3 points above obese. No way that person is feeling their best. That's diabetes and a heart attack waiting to happen.
Surely you're not identifying with that and taking it personally when I wonder why an otherwise attractive woman would let herself get that large?
Surely you're not identifying with that and taking it personally when I wonder why an otherwise attractive woman would let herself get that large?
Well, a little.
It's a blow to hear "otherwise attractive" over something you and/or others might really like about yourself. I hear it a lot because I choose to wear my hair natural instead of relaxed or in a weave.
"Oh, you'd look so pretty if you just straightened your hair."
My reaction to that is always "f you," first and then "why can't people like me for who I am?"
When you are somehow "outside" the beauty standard, but you genuinely like how you are it's frustrating and demeaning to constantly hear how you should "improve" yourself in order to fit a standard you don't really like or is impossible for you to be. I will never have flowing long straight locks, light skin or giant boobs, but I deserve to feel attractive anyway.
I don't know what the OP looks like, I don't know how healthy she is, but if she genuinely likes herself at her weight, your judgement on her attractiveness really has no bearing as an outsider and she deserves to feel attractive anyway.
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Re: Liposuction 
