General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Lost hair to cancer or lost limb due to an accident is just completely different. Are you being serious even making that comparison?
Paying some stranger good money to permanently scar your own body with a tattoo that for many people is a momentary whim of youth under the influence of alcohol is completely different.
I dont get tattoos at all, and I don't want too.
That's fine if other people want to do that to their bodies.
But I understand the OP being disappointed that his wife did that.
I agree, with the poster who said it's like spraying grafitti on a cathedral.
But the OP's wife wasn't a tattoo virgin as she already had a tattoo when they met. He already knew her feelings on tattoos and chose to accept that about her. So what is the problem now? You may not like tattoos. I may not like tattoos. But the OP's wife obviously does and he already knew that.
oilpatch doesn't count with that lol.
you would exclude 3/4 of the work force as most of the office staff was once field based at some point.
i don't even think i've shared a meeting room with anyone not well into 6 figures and i'm not the only one with ink that shows.
that said, we're only around 6000 employees and our dress code isn't too stringent unless meeting with investors or on the exec team.
I agree. Corporate america is dramatically changing in recent years. I work in Tier 1 manufacturing, which where most leadership jobs require engineering backgrounds, and the culture tends to be more old fashioned. The industry is rapidly moving away from this country. Unfortunately, approximately nearly half of new technical employees were not born in this country, coming from places where body art isn't common in office environments.
While I don't see a problem with body art, I just wouldn't want to leave the impression that it is "very common" in all segments of the corporate world. That was just the point of the lunch-n-learn session I attended recently, which was just a rehash of our dress code.
Again, its not directly relevant to the thread. I would wonder if the OPs wife found significant meaning in her tattoo, and can't imagine not wanting to respect that.
I hired one guy who dressed really nice all of the time. Better than the rest. It came to no surprise to me later when I was told the reason he did was to cover his tats. I would have not been allowed to hire someone with visble tats without limiting my own career. Him dressing nice was the right thing to do.
Exactly. If he hated tattoos so much that he couldn't even stand the sight of them, he wouldn't have married her seeing as she already had one on her bum...
I think this is about the lack of intimacy...JMO, I have been wrong many times before though.
I can see someone who is not a tattoo person who marries someone who has one tat and expect that to be it. BUT, it is very common for someone who likes tats to always be thinking of their next one. Tattoos have exploded for good or bad.
I could see this causing serious problems in a marriage because it is about more than a tattoo in his case.
This is religion.
I think there are bigger issue in their marriage and this is a symptom.
I love my tattoos...but they are for me and each one has special meaning to me. I get them, with the exception of the one on my ankle, where they can't be seen for that very reason. I have my sisters' name with some symbolism that, to me, represents her life. I have my sons name because he was my life at that point in time. The only one I have that I dislike and have thought about removing is the one on my ankle because A. You can see it, and B. I got it because I wanted to rebel and get a tattoo.
I want a really large one on my back, but my H doesn't like large tattoos on women, so I won't get it. If I do end up getting it though, I know he wouldn't contemplate ending the marriage or tell me that he found me less attractive. He would just say that he really didn’t like it and that would be the end of it.
I just can't ever imagine leaving your spouse over a tattoo, but that is just me.
Either my wife or I doing something against the wishes of the other would be a serious issue. We go with the Policy Of Joint Agreement. So it would be a real indicator of bigger issues.
Something like a tattoo would be discussed and agreed to one way or another. In fact I am sure if either of us did such a thing we would be there during the tattooing.
I see going against something agreed upon is a level of unfaithfulness.
IF I married a woman with tattoos we would have figured this out long ago.
I guess something similar might be if someone wanted plastic surgery. If a woman wanted breast implants. All I can say is that is nice if a couple can work these out and not just defy the other. I know myself and I know that if my wife really wanted a tattoo we could probably work it out. Not a fan of the lower back tattoo. Also not a fan of a tattoo that is hidden by a bikini. Anything that screamed party girl would be a non starter. So no tats like the girls at Twin Peaks rock.
This happened recently in my local area. I think this probably looked great on the fuselage of a B-17 in WWII but probably not something I would be proud of displayed on my wife.
I think we are in agreement that the OP and his wife are really not communicating well otherwise this issue would have been brought up before the ink was dry. Still I don't see it as a reason to get divorced.
I attended a lunch-n-learn seminar last week where a corporate speaker cited recent surveys that show that 3/4 of corporations still have rules prohibiting tattoos in visible places, within certain job roles where people meet suppliers/customers, and it is nearly a universal prohibition in higher paying positions. Notable exceptions are software firms, or more modern, less traditional companies. In my company, where there are about 125,000 employees overall, you just can't exceed a certain salary grade (about $90,000/year) with visible body art, other than earrings. The lighthearted comment in the session was that if you see visible body art, you can guess the person's salary cap.
My opinion, however, is that I cannot really see how this should be such a wedge issue in a marriage, or how either of them would allow it to be.
That's funny! For me, I make 1/2 of what hubs makes. And he's covered...but he covers them for work
39Likes
Re: stupid tatoo rant 
