c0met

Where do I start..

Long distance relationship for about a year with somebody who spends what seems like a large majority of his life living for Ex Wife and Kids.

He sleeps there a lot, they have kids, she's had more to other people since they divorced (a baby just recently) fathers are nowhere in sight, he looks after all like his own.

I understand the being there for the kids part but it all seems... OTT???

She drops a baby recently, he's going out of his way every day to visit in hosp. Babies are cute and all, but don't you draw a line somewhere?? Or???

We haven't seen each for months. Dont talk on the phone much, message every day zillions. Get the love you's etc all the time, in my mind I can't help thinking ????? I DONT KNOW???? Feel like im living in fantasy world out of touch with reality??? Am I being taken for a ride or what? I don't feel like I really matter if that makes sense.

Do I move on and just let them all play "happy family"

Feel a bit sidelined. Confused. Had been planning to move closer but I'm like ???????????? Getting mixed messages.

Perspectives please..

SlowlyGettingWiser

...

SlowlyGettingWiser

Absolutely!
No, but HE is.

You're getting absolutely NOTHING out of this relationship except a year of your life wasted.)
None of YOUR needs are getting met...not physically, not emotionally. YOU are the 'other woman' in an Emotional Affair.
Yes, you are! Tell him the 'party bus' has pulled over and parked and you're GETTING off. Then cut off ALL contact with this man immediately and permanently (phone, text, FaceBook)

Learn the lesson: actions speak louder than words. Then move on.

ChelseaBlue

If you don't want to live like this you need to sit own with your partner and express your feelings. Let him know what you want and require from him in this relationship. If he can't give you more time than you are getting now it is time to make some decisions.

Do you really want to live like this? There are many fine men out there who will treat you much better. Where do you want to be in five years?

Good luck.

Toffer

Uhhhh....He sleeps over at his Ex's place? That's a huge red flag right there. How could you even think this is a good idea?

You know that the child the ex had recently is probably his right?

Run! Fast and far!

DayDream

Sounds like he's still married and playing around. And you're the toy.

c0met

Thanks for responding. It's all kind of bizarre really..

I know for certain they are divorced and two babies she's had since are not his. He has own place, she has hers.

She played the field while they were married. Got pregnant, had another guys baby. They ended their marriage and separated while she was pregnant. Divorced officially last year. She started seeing somebody else after having her baby. Got pregnant again. There was talk of her wanting to be with the third guy, didn't work out.

She has mental health issues to the point where she doesn't want to get out of bed sometimes. During a phase recently he went and stayed there, looked after the kids, did all that stuff for quite a few weeks.

When she needs help with the kids (there are 6 now, 4 his, 2 belong to others) hes the one there picking up the pieces.

Kids are the no 1 excuse (he wants to be there, be supportive, kids need him etc)

He has told me she has said that he doesn't deserve to be happy. (Its kind of like well since she's not, why should he be)

It's all very bizarre




o_O

Entropy3000

Move on.

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"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
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SlowlyGettingWiser

It IS very bizarre....why would you want to get sucked into that mess?

Feel badly for him if you want, but move on...run away...drop all contact. It ain't gonna get better, just worse.