I don't know where you are looking, but today, the online approach seems dominant. Take stock of yourself. What are your strengths and desires? Are you making yourself as attractive , both physically and otherwise as you can? No one is going to be interested in you if you can't express a coherent thought, are unkempt or present yourself as undesirable. The most beautiful thing a person can wear is a smile and the second most attractive characteristic is a little confidence. If you need some help, hit a styling salon or see a life style consultant. For a few dollars you can get some advise on making the best of what you have. I don't know your sex; but as a man, I know that my physical appearance is only a tiny part of my attractiveness. How I engage with a potential partner, the art of listening, the ability to carry a conversation and inject a little humor, the willingness to discover who a potential partner is (almost everyone loves to talk about themselves, if you give them a little encouragement). People are also interested in hearing about your experiences.
Work on yourself and I'm confident you will see more success
Physical attractiveness is only one aspect. Having similar interests and possibly similar backgrounds is another. Just meeting a variety of people is important. Attitude and personality are also important. And are you turning down prospective partners that maybe you don't find attractive?
Nobody here is judging you, but we have no way of telling you why you can't find someone with the limited information you give. But at 44, and being what I would consider "average looking", I've managed to find someone who takes my breathe away with both her looks and personality. So it is possible!
you must be the very last lucky few ones PBear trust me on that.
its all about looks. nothing but looks. anything else? nope because of a silly standards or checklist system.
i deserve to be loved and the other way around as I have alot to give. i "earned" that (if it makes sense). working hard and so on and so fourth. isnt every person entitled to something personally? i dont ask for much really. i dont. im simple and basic
i guess another night of sleep on my own. haha. thanks all. lets see what tomorrow brings... if anything.
I think maybe you're hanging out with the wrong people. Believe me there are a lot of nice men out there that are looking for nice women. Attitude is a remarkable beauty enhancer. You need to feel beautiful on the inside and it will begin to show on the outside. Maybe stop trying so hard to find someone and start trying harder to just enjoy your life. Take up a hobby that really interests you. You're more likely to meet someone else with a common interest. You're more likely to bond with someone who has a common interest beyond "hey, he's cute." Are you giving the ugly guys a chance? If my wife didn't give one ugly guy a chance, I wouldn't be married right now. :-)
One last point, it took quite a few back and forth communications to understand what your need was. Do you think this vagueness might also be present in your relationships? Like maybe they don't know what you want from the relationship so they give up?
you understand that it's not really a checklist or a conspiracy right? It's genetic programming. People - you included - are hard wired to be sexually attracted to healthy specimens of our species. Mating with the healthiest ensures a strong gene pool - it's why in many animals males fight for the right to mate with the female - only the strongest genes go forward.
However, people have evolved to more than just procreate so today there is much more to a relationship than "attraction" but it is still there and a part of all of us. Some people are blazing hot and complete idiots or dullards, some people hit every branch of the ugly tree when they fell out but have the keenest intellect, charm and wit. It's humanity.
The only thing I'll guarantee is that the only sure fire way NOT to find someone to have a relationship with is to withdraw and start contemplating your naval about why you're alone.
well its how i feel.
poor mans attitude? well.... someones gotta care and be real! but i know what you mean.
nevermind. ill just stay alone for the rest of my life, since it already feels like it. literally. but then those people shouldnt moan and complain they cant find someone decent.
their loss. not mine. i tried. they didnt, they were making it even more awkward and unreal.
and this is another thing... people dont want to listen to what the victim (me would you believe) is saying.
nevermind. i knew it was a mistake to even think people care. something I was brought up to believe in. so really, dont see why we have things like marriage or relationships. it makes no sense.
prostitutes seems the way (yes, seriously)
but no. im not like that. i have morals and ethics and respect. but seems most dont these days.
ok... i get it. no hope for the ugly guy. why bother. its a disease. may God help those "pretty women" who have seen an ugly guy for literally 3 seconds....ewwww.... get them the medical care on the house...quick *rolls eyes*
cant help how I get made to feel....
let this thread die in peace. like me.
You're right no one cares - that's why were all here spending our time trying to help people we've never met and never will. Because we don't care, because we don't want to help someone else with the benefit of the scars we've gotten. Nope - no one here that cares.
We all have to play the cards that life has dealt us. Sure, pretty people have an easier time attracting others, but they still face the same problems that the rest of us do in maintaining a relationship.
Look at Rodney Dangerfield, Danny DeVito, Mayim Bialik. Do you think that they sat around bemoaning their fate? No, they made use of their sense of humor, confidence that they had something to offer, and the courage to persevere to get what they wanted.
My husband said that the ugliest guy in his college fraternity had the most dates of anyone in their house because he was not afraid of rejection. He just kept asking girls out until he found ones who said yes.
It is easier to have pity parties than to put yourself out there. This is your life. What are you going to make of it?