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To say that I need to tell her everything (and that she needs to tell me everything) or else we're somehow dishonest with each other ignores the normalcy of day-to-day life. Additionally, it creates an obligation on a spouse to spout every last bit of minutae, lest they be considered dishonest.
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If I could just address this--it's not what you consider minutiae, it's what she considers minutiae. If you're not sharing something in your day that she considers important, that is a bit dishonest. I don't think it matters what the reason is. I understand what you did, why you did it and I would have done the same...but I don't think for one minute it is being honest with your partner.
Like previous posters have shared that their spouses ask them about trivial stuff. It's not because they don't trust the spouse. They don't feel obligated to go through a laundry list of info. When you care about someone and you feel that love from them you like to hear about their day and want to share highlights of yours.
Normally going to the doctor to check if something is seriously wrong (anything involving blood) would be something you would share. Not telling someone something important like that I feel is a lie by omission. Like I said though, you've explained why you didn't and I don't feel what you did was wrong. A little dishonest, yes. Just because you have a good reason not to be fully honest, doesn't make it not dishonesty.
I sincerely hope that made sense.
Re: Privacy in relationships
