Husband's sudden disinterest in sex

Mrs. T · 04-25-2012, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsWestRox

Thanks for all your responses.

I have been to a doctor and she suggested testosterone and gave me the name of another doctor to see about it. I never made an appointment. My doctor also said that he could get his needs met by masturbation and I told him that.

Why does his not asking for sex bother me? Probably because I do feel it will lead to another affair. But why can't he just accept that I'm not into sex? Shouldn't that be his compromise?

I don't like to judge anyone but here you sound so selfish. There is only compromise if BOTH parties are willing to make a change. You're not into sex but it is obvious that he is, yet you deny him of his need. You expect him to give up sex for you, while you have given nothing in return.
By the way, your doctor is full of sh!t...his needs will not be met by masturbating. Men need to feel desired and need intimacy also, can't get that from five minutes in the shower masturbating.

What a cold proposition that is for the poor man.

Tall Average Guy · 04-25-2012, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsWestRox

Thanks you for your comments. I have a lot to think about.

If I had to guess, I suspect there is still a lot of unresolved resentment over your husband's affair. You took him back, but in retunr expect him to compromise by not having sex since you don't want or need it anymore. I think you need to deal with that.

eagleclaw · 04-25-2012, 09:23 AM

I don't even know how to resond to this it seems so ludicrous.

It comes down to this. He wants a wife and someone to love. You want a friend. There is no way for both of you to be happy in this relationship unless you meet in the middle. NO WAY.

You are being extremely selfish, and a terrible wife. You might be the best friend in the world and extremely good to him...... but your sure as hell not being his wife.

He will get more resentful, and it will deepen until not only does he no longer love you... but he will dislike you. Cheating will be a very likely outcome as he won't care any longer about hurting you. After all... why should he.... you don't care about hurting him. And yes.... you ARE. Eventually, given the oppertunity he will most likely leave.

Those are the simple facts. It's not about him accepting you the wa you are... or writing off his needs in favour of yours... etc etc etc. This is not some fairly book movie where the princess is paralyzed and the prince takes care of her forever with nothing in return.

Real life. You want him to meet your needs.... your not interested in his because they conflict with yours. Selfish, self defeating, and terminal thinking.

Mrs. T · 04-25-2012, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eagleclaw

I don't even know how to resond to this it seems so ludicrous.

It comes down to this. He wants a wife and someone to love. You want a friend. There is no way for both of you to be happy in this relationship unless you meet in the middle. NO WAY.

You are being extremely selfish, and a terrible wife. You might be the best friend in the world and extremely good to him...... but your sure as hell not being his wife.

He will get more resentful, and it will deepen until not only does he no longer love you... but he will dislike you. Cheating will be a very likely outcome as he won't care any longer about hurting you. After all... why should he.... you don't care about hurting him. And yes.... you ARE. Eventually, given the oppertunity he will most likely leave.

Those are the simple facts. It's not about him accepting you the wa you are... or writing off his needs in favour of yours... etc etc etc. This is not some fairly book movie where the princess is paralyzed and the prince takes care of her forever with nothing in return.

Real life. You want him to meet your needs.... your not interested in his because they conflict with yours. Selfish, self defeating, and terminal thinking.

Well said!!