Can single men & women be friends?
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Like Tree28Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-24-2012, 10:30 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Jellybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 19,374
Default Can single men & women be friends?

It's an age-old question.

There was another thread here that got me thinking about this.
I know most are married on TAM but this topic is about single folks.

I was reading literature on the Internet (where everything is TRUE lol) and saw a lot of differing opinions on this matter.

So... what do you think personally? Can single men and women be friends w/o there being a sexual component, attraction, etc?

I wonder if men & women view this differently.

Have at it!
__________________
Exposure Letter

Letter to OM/OW
Jellybeans is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 04-24-2012, 10:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,286
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

I have had a few male friends without sex.

I have had some male friends where there was weird sexual tension so we got rid of that ...and then stayed friends.
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 10:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,679
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

I think so. Not every single man/woman are attracted to one another. Sometimes it can be like having a brother/sister type relationship. I've had that before.

Funny you brought this up. I was just talking last night to a guy I've been friends with for about 12 years. He's single, we have a kind of brother sister type relationship. My hubby met him and they hit it off too. We're just good friends, nothing more.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 10:49 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Jellybeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 19,374
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Which brings me to the question: are most single men attracted to their female friends? It's said men are more sexual, etc. than woman so I've wondered this about my guy friends now.
Jellybeans is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 10:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,679
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Oh and about my friend... INITIALLY he asked me out and I was in a relationship, so I turned him down. He respected that. Maybe he still 'likes' me in that way, but he's never crossed the line in all these years.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 11:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 421
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
Which brings me to the question: are most single men attracted to their female friends? It's said men are more sexual, etc. than woman so I've wondered this about my guy friends now.
I'm attracted to all of my female friends and they know that. Only crazy women seem to have a problem with it.
ShawnD is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 12:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 155
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

I'd think it would be weird though. To be a single woman with a single male friend that you knew was attracted to you. Awkward.
Kathrynthegreat is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 12:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
lovelygirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,673
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

There is hardly a true long-lasting friendship between a single woman and a single man.
Both parties evaluate if they can be more than friends and if they think it can't work then in their minds and conscience they secretly agree to remain friends.
lovelygirl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 12:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 3,679
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Dean* View Post
A lot of men that find a girl (that is a friend) attractive, never lose that feeling even if they
both agree to just remain friends.
He always is attracted to her. It can even get stronger.

That man will keep it hidden and hope that the conditions change where he could
take the relationship to a new level, sometime in the future.

That is why it is so dangerous for a Married Lady to have a guy friend.
The friend I have has never come across this way to me, and he's been around long enough to weather my divorce and remarriage. He had plenty of opportunities to approach me, but he didn't. I don't consider him a threat to my marriage, and neither does my husband.
A Bit Much is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 12:44 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Homemaker_Numero_Uno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,868
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

If I say no then I lose half my friends. :-o
Of course my guy friends are attracted to me.
They also know that I am in charge of my sexuality, so the answer will be no, until and unless it becomes yes, and then I would have to let them know that there has been a change. It's ridiculous to cut yourself off from other genders, whatever they may be. I don't think there are so many people on earth that you are supposed to learn and grow from a relationship with one individual of the opposite sex. Also, what do you do with friends who are transgender or homosexual or undecided or neutered in some way such as they are monks, etc. Nope, can't see myself learning from only 1/2 of the remaining population after I have chosen an intimate emotional/spiritual/physical partner. I think that would be very short-sighted...so I am not supposed to have any meaningful personal conversation with any opposite sex members of my Quaker Meeting/Community, with colleagues or fellow students, with people who might enjoy rock climbing, dancing cycling with me, or just having a conversation or perhaps watching sports and passing time together? If I had a ban on opposite sex friendships I would not be able to manage as my partner is in rehabilitation after brain surgery (life saving) so guess who is taking care of me during this time? My guy friends for the most part...I have a lot of non-dates. :-o Sure they are attracted to me, they also know I am crazy about my guy.
Homemaker_Numero_Uno is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 12:49 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
allthegoodnamesaregone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 276
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

No, not from a guy's point of view. There is always an undercurrent of "Maybe". Some Beta guys can be "friends" for years and you'd never know it. They wait like hyenas , waiting for a weak moment.
allthegoodnamesaregone is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 12:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
ScaredandUnsure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Somewhere in the world
Posts: 736
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
It's an age-old question.

There was another thread here that got me thinking about this.
I know most are married on TAM but this topic is about single folks.

I was reading literature on the Internet (where everything is TRUE lol) and saw a lot of differing opinions on this matter.

So... what do you think personally? Can single men and women be friends w/o there being a sexual component, attraction, etc?

I wonder if men & women view this differently.

Have at it!
IMO yes, I have guys I have been friends with for over 15+ years, and never had sex with them. The attraction wasn't there for any involved. I've camped out on the floor with these guys, drunk as a skunk and nothing ever happened. They are good friends. If they ever had any sexual desires for me, it was never brought up, acted on or even hinted.
ScaredandUnsure is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 01:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
allthegoodnamesaregone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 276
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ScaredandUnsure View Post
IMO yes, I have guys I have been friends with for over 15+ years, and never had sex with them. The attraction wasn't there for any involved. I've camped out on the floor with these guys, drunk as a skunk and nothing ever happened. They are good friends. If they ever had any sexual desires for me, it was never brought up, acted on or even hinted.
How do you know this to be true? There's women I've known for years I never made any advances to that I'd bonk in a heartbeat now I'm on my way to being single again. I'm telling you there isn't a man with working testicles that can be "your friend" in the platonic sense unless he finds you physically unattractive or totally/morally unavailable.
allthegoodnamesaregone is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 01:07 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
Jeff/BC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 345
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans View Post
[B]Can single men and women be friends
As is always true with questions which span 7 billion people, my answer is "it depends".

In my personal experience, some people see people of the opposite gender as people. Others see them as sexual targets. The folks in the first group can and do maintain friendships. The people in the second group do not.

edited to answer the secondary question
My female friends span all different types. Some of them are attractive to me. Others are not. Since I'm not evaluating either camp as a possible mate, it makes no difference one way or the other.
Jeff/BC is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 04-24-2012, 01:27 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6,165
Default Re: Can single men & women be friends?

From a female point of view I've had plenty of male friends and like homemaker said I'm sure they were attracted to me but that wasn't an option so it was a nonissue.
Mavash. is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can a married woman be friends with a single man? nosnhoj General Relationship Discussion 30 09-22-2013 05:41 AM
Can't I be good friends with a single guy if I'm married? Marie Z General Relationship Discussion 16 06-19-2012 09:41 PM
A message to the single friends of marrieds.. Shooboomafoo Coping with Infidelity 28 08-18-2011 02:25 PM
H's need for single female friends LadyinRed General Relationship Discussion 8 11-24-2010 12:35 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:23 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.