General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I think so. Not every single man/woman are attracted to one another. Sometimes it can be like having a brother/sister type relationship. I've had that before.
Funny you brought this up. I was just talking last night to a guy I've been friends with for about 12 years. He's single, we have a kind of brother sister type relationship. My hubby met him and they hit it off too. We're just good friends, nothing more.
Which brings me to the question: are most single men attracted to their female friends? It's said men are more sexual, etc. than woman so I've wondered this about my guy friends now.
Oh and about my friend... INITIALLY he asked me out and I was in a relationship, so I turned him down. He respected that. Maybe he still 'likes' me in that way, but he's never crossed the line in all these years.
Which brings me to the question: are most single men attracted to their female friends? It's said men are more sexual, etc. than woman so I've wondered this about my guy friends now.
I'm attracted to all of my female friends and they know that. Only crazy women seem to have a problem with it.
There is hardly a true long-lasting friendship between a single woman and a single man.
Both parties evaluate if they can be more than friends and if they think it can't work then in their minds and conscience they secretly agree to remain friends.
A lot of men that find a girl (that is a friend) attractive, never lose that feeling even if they
both agree to just remain friends.
He always is attracted to her. It can even get stronger.
That man will keep it hidden and hope that the conditions change where he could
take the relationship to a new level, sometime in the future.
That is why it is so dangerous for a Married Lady to have a guy friend.
The friend I have has never come across this way to me, and he's been around long enough to weather my divorce and remarriage. He had plenty of opportunities to approach me, but he didn't. I don't consider him a threat to my marriage, and neither does my husband.
If I say no then I lose half my friends. :-o
Of course my guy friends are attracted to me.
They also know that I am in charge of my sexuality, so the answer will be no, until and unless it becomes yes, and then I would have to let them know that there has been a change. It's ridiculous to cut yourself off from other genders, whatever they may be. I don't think there are so many people on earth that you are supposed to learn and grow from a relationship with one individual of the opposite sex. Also, what do you do with friends who are transgender or homosexual or undecided or neutered in some way such as they are monks, etc. Nope, can't see myself learning from only 1/2 of the remaining population after I have chosen an intimate emotional/spiritual/physical partner. I think that would be very short-sighted...so I am not supposed to have any meaningful personal conversation with any opposite sex members of my Quaker Meeting/Community, with colleagues or fellow students, with people who might enjoy rock climbing, dancing cycling with me, or just having a conversation or perhaps watching sports and passing time together? If I had a ban on opposite sex friendships I would not be able to manage as my partner is in rehabilitation after brain surgery (life saving) so guess who is taking care of me during this time? My guy friends for the most part...I have a lot of non-dates. :-o Sure they are attracted to me, they also know I am crazy about my guy.
No, not from a guy's point of view. There is always an undercurrent of "Maybe". Some Beta guys can be "friends" for years and you'd never know it. They wait like hyenas , waiting for a weak moment.
There was another thread here that got me thinking about this.
I know most are married on TAM but this topic is about single folks.
I was reading literature on the Internet (where everything is TRUE lol) and saw a lot of differing opinions on this matter.
So... what do you think personally? Can single men and women be friends w/o there being a sexual component, attraction, etc?
I wonder if men & women view this differently.
Have at it!
IMO yes, I have guys I have been friends with for over 15+ years, and never had sex with them. The attraction wasn't there for any involved. I've camped out on the floor with these guys, drunk as a skunk and nothing ever happened. They are good friends. If they ever had any sexual desires for me, it was never brought up, acted on or even hinted.
IMO yes, I have guys I have been friends with for over 15+ years, and never had sex with them. The attraction wasn't there for any involved. I've camped out on the floor with these guys, drunk as a skunk and nothing ever happened. They are good friends. If they ever had any sexual desires for me, it was never brought up, acted on or even hinted.
How do you know this to be true? There's women I've known for years I never made any advances to that I'd bonk in a heartbeat now I'm on my way to being single again. I'm telling you there isn't a man with working testicles that can be "your friend" in the platonic sense unless he finds you physically unattractive or totally/morally unavailable.
As is always true with questions which span 7 billion people, my answer is "it depends".
In my personal experience, some people see people of the opposite gender as people. Others see them as sexual targets. The folks in the first group can and do maintain friendships. The people in the second group do not.
edited to answer the secondary question
My female friends span all different types. Some of them are attractive to me. Others are not. Since I'm not evaluating either camp as a possible mate, it makes no difference one way or the other.
From a female point of view I've had plenty of male friends and like homemaker said I'm sure they were attracted to me but that wasn't an option so it was a nonissue.
25Likes
Can single men & women be friends? 
...and then stayed friends.
