With my ex-husband, I handled pretty much everything:
1. Finances (except investments).
2. Kept the house spotless and organized.
3. Did all cooking...always made sure we had something special for dinner and packed homemade lunches that he liked.
4. Took care of gifts for his friends and family.
5. Always had great food and drinks when his friends were over.
6. I almost always made sure the chores were finished before he came home so that we could play together...(i.e...play music and sports, and make love).
However, none of these things were done out of sense of responsibility but rather out of Love and Appreciation. I loved this man, and what I did for him arose from my desire to make him content and feel loved by the woman he married. Everything I did was an expression of my love for him, so I never viewed any of it in terms of responsibility.
When things were "good" between us, he was the happiest man in the world, and often insisted on hiring someone else to clean and do errands so that I could devote more time to my own interests. (I hired someone twice and decided I could do a better job). We never once argued about finances or who/how the house was run.
Perhaps, your dissatisfaction with your wife isn't necessarily about how little she is cooking/cleaning/etc, but rather her not making an effort to make you feel special and loved...what do you think? Did she ever (before or after marriage) make you feel like the most special man in the world?
I want to hear what others think. In my mind, my spouse is doing about 1/2 of what a stay at home spouse should be doing. We have 2 middle school aged children. I work 40 hours a week.
Give me your list. Let's hear it.