04-24-2012, 05:04 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
| | Re: Need help with my needy husband
Originally Posted by lisagw411
Ok - going to try to respond to most of your very informative post. Here is a response I already submitted about what I do for him: I have tried - I have asked him what he wants from me. His answer is usually "I don't know". This has been an ongoing issue with him. It is never enough - I keep telling him that he comes first and if there is any point in time that he wants to be with his wife just let me know - I will set work aside - he doesn't do it. I have taken him out to dinner, surprised him with small tokens of affection, sent him caring text messages, post sweet comments on facebook, compliment him more than he has ever complimented me, and pretty much make him feel the the king of the freakin' universe but it still isn't enough. See why I am at my wits end? He is jealous of his son - he wants more time than I give our child which is impossible. His chief complaint is that he feels like he is fighting for quality time with me and wants the life we had before our son came along (when all of my time and energy went to him). I can't turn back time and I wouldn't want too - I have no idea what to do.
I would suggest looking for the His Needs Her Needs questionaire (just Google it). It is a quick survey that you both fill out to figure out what needs are most important. It helps you focus on the primary needs so that you (and him) can avoid wasting effort. For example, if he needs physical touch, while words of affirmation are low on his list, then I see a lot of what you are doing just won't be recieved the way you intend.