Firstly i wasnt sure where to post this so sorry if its in the wrong place, im new
here goes, I'm 23 my partner is 38, weve been together three years are engaged and due to marry, i know 23 sounds young but i'm very mature, work very hard and i dont go out drinking ect like the rest of the people my age group.
We have a hectic lifestyle but from day one i knew he was the one, were so alike, after about 12 months i made my feelings about children and marraige clear, so we started trying for a baby 2 years later and still nothing! my partner had the snip some years ago, then had it reversed and was told at the time he could conceive, we've had no joy and as time goes on i'm seemingly more desperate as he is less because hes worried about the effect of his age on raising a child (which i understand)
i'm now beginning to see that it is likely never to happen, if it was that simple i could probebley cope, but the meer fact that every time i go out, switch on the tv, pc or anything it literally gets rubbed in my face! I not coping well!
I feel totally alone as my mum and i dont have a ''close'' relationship, we get on and i love her but we cant talk, i have no sisters/brothers and due to the fact that i'm so mature either all my friend dont care or arent around to talk to???
I spoke with my partner but dont want him to feel trapped or like he needs to push me away because hes the only one i can turn to? if that makes sense, plus hes not a desprerate as i am,
so tests or ivf are totally out the window!
Last night was the final straw as i was late (only buy a couple of days) and i told my partner, also suffering from fatigue and tender breasts my heart fluttered and he seemed excited too, i did a test and immediatly started bleeding, its like im been punished and i dont know why? i got in the shower before my partner came in and just sobbed, i dont know why i'm expectant after so long? i feel like i'm going mad can someone help please??