Re: Husband is staying up late chatting with other woman
If he won't listen to you, break up with him. Then get yourself sorted out (why is sex painful, why do you allow him to treat you so bad for so long, etc) before you get into another relationship.
And yes, he is cheating on you. Stand up for yourself!!!!! Tell him you are filing for divorce because he is cheating, he belittles you, and he doesn't think there's a problem when it's been TEN YEARS and no sex.
I find it REALLY hard to believe he isn't getting sex on the side. No normal man says 'the sex will come naturally', meanwhile telling his wife she's too fat and there's no problem with not ever having sex, and cybercheating. He's cheating on you by doing a LOT more than cybering.