General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I am wondering if there is anyway to get back with an ex? What approach to take, and at what pace to move to get back with her. I believe that we can both make it work but just don't know how to get back into the relationship. Not looking to get back exactly at the high point, but rather start again from the beginning and work on the mistakes we both made in our relationship. Need some serious help.
Need a LOT more information to give you any usable suggestions.
How old are you?
How old is ex?
How long were you together?
Was it serious (living together, engaged)?
How long ago did you split?
Why did you split?
Was the split amicable?
Why do you want to get back together with your ex?
What do you think has changed that would cause the relationship to be different this time around?
What were you unhappy about in the relationship?
What were you happy about in the relationship?
What was your ex unhappy about in the relationship?
What was your ex happy about in the relationship?
Are there children involved in the relationship with the ex?
Do either of you have children NOW that were not around during the past relationship?
Be honest in your responses to these questions. Give as much pertinent information as you can (use examples, if possible). Be sure to use PARAGRAPHS in your answer...it is very hard to read long stories with single-spacing!
Looking forward to seeing more info on your story and, hopefully, great advice from TAM.
Both my ex and I are 22, and we were together for 2 and half years. Our relationship was very serious but her parents did not accept me due to the fact I am not the same race as her. We were an interracial couple.
The reason for our split was primarily her parents, and this caused many issues to arise, even with things that we didn't have problems with before such as religion and culture. She is caucasian, and I am Indian. We are both born and raised in Canada and I am NOT a very religious person because of the way I have been raised. We split about 2 weeks ago and even though I know this is a short period of time, I feel as though we can get back together and make this work seeing how the split did arise primarily because of her parents.
During the end of our relationship she started to distant herself a bit because she thought she was hurting her parents even though as a couple we are extremely happy together. I want to get back with my ex because I love her very much and even thought her parents are putting pressure on her and she has fallen out of love with me, I know she still loves me as a person and that can help us get back together.
We are both happy with everything in this relationship except the whole parents issue. Because of that religion at first was not an issue but later became one cause her parents kept saying its not going to work, and its going to be very hard. I agree that it will not be easy, but if you really do love someone you can always make it work.
Please give me advice on how we can get back together, and how I can assure her that religion and parents will NOT be problem in the future. I hope this information helps.
Both my ex and I are 22, and we were together for 2 and half years. Our relationship was very serious but her parents did not accept me due to the fact I am not the same race as her. We were an interracial couple.
The reason for our split was primarily her parents, and this caused many issues to arise, even with things that we didn't have problems with before such as religion and culture. She is Caucasian, and I am Indian. We are both born and raised in Canada and I am NOT a very religious person because of the way I have been raised. We split about 2 weeks ago and even though I know this is a short period of time, I feel as though we can get back together and make this work seeing how the split did arise primarily because of her parents.
During the end of our relationship she started to distant herself a bit because she thought she was hurting her parents even though as a couple we are extremely happy together. I want to get back with my ex because I love her very much and even thought her parents are putting pressure on her and she has fallen out of love with me, I know she still loves me as a person and that can help us get back together.
We are both happy with everything in this relationship except the whole parents issue. Because of that religion at first was not an issue but later became one cause her parents kept saying its not going to work, and its going to be very hard. I agree that it will not be easy, but if you really do love someone you can always make it work.
Please give me advice on how we can get back together, and how I can assure her that religion and parents will NOT be problem in the future. I hope this information helps.
Thank you,
TAM
Religion and parents WILL be a problem for you if they do not accept you. I have a family member who's daughter (My cousin) married a black man and they conceived an interracial child. The parents never accepted the husband or the child and it was a very tense situation in the family. Personally I thought it was terrible but it was not my business. Ultimately due to family pressure the husband left and the family situation has improved.
What I am trying to say is that sometimes you can't change racists *******s and the reality is that she may end up with a caucasian partner in the future in order to gain acceptance from her family. Yes its sucks but thats life.
I'm really sorry but shes the one that needs to make this choice, but I have a feeling that she is not going to alienate her family for you especially with both of you being so young. Good luck.
__________________
I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer.
Both my ex and I are 22, and we were together for 2 and half years. Our relationship was very serious but her parents did not accept me due to the fact I am not the same race as her. We were an interracial couple.
The reason for our split was primarily her parents, and this caused many issues to arise, even with things that we didn't have problems with before such as religion and culture. She is caucasian, and I am Indian. We are both born and raised in Canada and I am NOT a very religious person because of the way I have been raised. We split about 2 weeks ago and even though I know this is a short period of time, I feel as though we can get back together and make this work seeing how the split did arise primarily because of her parents.
During the end of our relationship she started to distant herself a bit because she thought she was hurting her parents even though as a couple we are extremely happy together. I want to get back with my ex because I love her very much and even thought her parents are putting pressure on her and she has fallen out of love with me, I know she still loves me as a person and that can help us get back together.
We are both happy with everything in this relationship except the whole parents issue. Because of that religion at first was not an issue but later became one cause her parents kept saying its not going to work, and its going to be very hard. I agree that it will not be easy, but if you really do love someone you can always make it work.
Please give me advice on how we can get back together, and how I can assure her that religion and parents will NOT be problem in the future. I hope this information helps.
Thank you,
TAM
Yes, I agree with you that if you do love someone you can make it work. However it has to be from both the sides. You cannot do it for both you and your ex-gf.
I remember your previous posts where you mentioned that your gf (now your ex) was distancing herself from you since her parents didn't approve due to the culture difference. I think she chose the wishes of her parents over you and therefore you parted ways. You might have chosen her if your parents wouldn't have approved. However you cannot make her chose you over her parents. Pursuing her is not going to help. If she would have had some concerns about you that you could change, that would have been a different story.
If she realizes that splitting up with you was a mistake, and misses you as much as you miss her, she will come back to you. However do not wait for that to happen, since most likely you would be wasting your time. Use this time to focus on your studies. I remember you also mentioned that your grades were slipping.
See, I agree when you say "If you do love someone you can make it work". However the corollary to this is "If you cannot make it work, you probably don't love someone as much". So if your girlfriend cannot make this work, her love for you is probably not that strong and you should not be wasting your time.
I would recommend,
1. delete your TAM account
2. focus on your grades
3. forget about the ex
4. be open to finding someone who will accept you for what you are. however take a break from dating for some time till you feel better.
5. stay in touch with your parents, siblings, friends etc to help you lift up your spirits and forget the ex
Your girlfriend is a full-grown adult woman. She chose her parents over your relationship. I'm sure it was very difficult for her, but she DID make it. She was not forced. Pressure WAS brought to bear on her by her family, but she COULD have chosen YOU...and did not.
You need to accept this break-up and move on. Even though you don't want to.
Get back with ex 
