General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
He is by far the best friend I have in this world. When I am at work I look forward to home time SO much. He's my refuge. If I could live in a cocoon with just him it would be bliss
If something interesting happens at work or somewhere else, the first person I think of talking to about it is him and vice versa. He's also the first person I'd go to if I had a problem, needed to vent about something. I think underlying every good marriage is a solid friendship between the spouses.
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Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 05-04-2012 at 11:54 AM.
Yes it's very important imo. My spouse is my best friend,lover,soulmate, my everything... he's the one I will be spending the rest of my life with so why shouldn't he be all that and more?
I think for a relationship to work , your partner needs to be your best friend before being your best lover.
EDIT: This doesn't mean you have to be with your partner 24/7.
But the time spent together should be quality time. Communication is a priority, I think.
Used to be. But some time over the past 15 years she fell out of love with me. Problem is she didn't tell me. So the person I THOUGHT was my best friend is now almost a stranger. So, to answer your question, I live with someone I'm not even sure I LIKE any more.
My wife and I were best friends for six years before we became a couple, from age 15-21. We were so incredibly close as friends that when I started falling in love with her, it felt like betrayal to her. Eventually, after a couple years of me persevering, she began to recognize that her feelings for me were beyond those of friendship, and we got together.
But something happened. I always imagined it would be just like our friendship, with the element of romantic feelings and sexuality folded in. That didn't happen. My wife couldn't make the transition so, in some key ways, we started from scratch. We built something entirely new, and different, and now here we are, almost 12 years later, and our relationship really isn't a "friendship". For a very long time I was confused, and disheartened, because I wanted her to be my best friend again. But after awhile I accepted that we were something new, something totally different than what we were, and I came to enjoy and embrace the "new" us.
Our marriage is passionate. We are in love now more than ever. W rely VERY heavily on being "in love", and feeling those highs. My wife and I still get nervous around each other sometimes. We still sometimes feel a little shy, and apprehensive. The butterflies/take your breath away feeling, while not always consistent, is still there a lot for us and we relish that. We don't share a lot of mutual hobbies and interests that best friends would. There is still a certain "mystery" there for us, which isn't typical of friendship and companionship. If we go out on a date night, sometimes it feels like we've just started dating.
Yes we are honest and we are very close. Yes there are elements of friendship, but it's definitely more of a romantic relationship than a "friendship". We both are blessed with incredible, incredible friendships that serve important roles in our lives, so we don't rely on each other as the sole source of those needs. Friendship is a part of our relationship, of course, but not the largest part. It's definitely, above and beyond anything else, more of a true, blue, ongoing romance.
My wife is...
My partner in crime,
My greatest friend,
My greatest companion,
My greatest rival at times,
But when it comes down to it...
We stand back to back to take on anyone... I protect her as she protects me....
My wife is...
My partner in crime,
My greatest friend,
My greatest companion,
My greatest rival at times, But when it comes down to it...
We stand back to back to take on anyone... I protect her as she protects me....
Yes. This is greatness. The way it should be IMO.
Two people can complement each other and be supportive in a way that is greater than the sum of their parts.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 05-04-2012 at 04:27 PM.
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Re: is your spouse your friend? 
