is your spouse your friend?

Coffee Amore · 05-08-2012, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonelybeeber

i wish my husband was my friend like all fo you say. i dont know how to get him to be my friend. he is never there to listen to me. he falsl asleep when i talk to him, or findssomething else like playing with a cat or a commercial to laugh at more important. he never wants to spend time with me. his idea of showing me he loves me is pinching my boob, or slapping my bottom. i tel lhim what will make me happy, and he believes he doesnt have to do them because we are married, and to him married means you have to love them no matter what so why try to make anything good. does anybody have any advice to how i can try to get him to realize he isnt my friend?

You might want to open a brand new discussion topic to get answers. Sometimes a question like this, if asked in another thread, gets buried and people don't read it because they're too busy answering the original question in the first post.

You two sound disconnected. You don't HAVE to love someone just because you're married to them. Love is an action. Spouses have to do things to keep the love alive. The love one feels can wither and die if there's emotional neglect from the other person.

anchorwatch · 05-08-2012, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonelybeeber

i wish my husband was my friend like all fo you say. i dont know how to get him to be my friend. he is never there to listen to me. he falsl asleep when i talk to him, or findssomething else like playing with a cat or a commercial to laugh at more important. he never wants to spend time with me. his idea of showing me he loves me is pinching my boob, or slapping my bottom. i tel lhim what will make me happy, and he believes he doesnt have to do them because we are married, and to him married means you have to love them no matter what so why try to make anything good. does anybody have any advice to how i can try to get him to realize he isnt my friend?

Beeber, it's good you asked and that shows your ready to learn. A lot of young married people don't look to find ways to help themselves. Yes there is something you can do. You will have to work at it. Take the time to read and learn about what a good relationship looks like. Then give it a try. A start, if I may recommend, is a book called "The Five Love Languages". it has some simple tools, that may help you. There are others but that's a start. Good Luck

gav · 05-09-2012, 11:46 AM

My wife is my best friend, period. And I think I'm hers.

We have other folks that we talk to and hang out with, mostly family members (brothers, sisters)

But at the end of the day, if we don't have that time together, we get squirrely.

I can't imagine being married to her and NOT being friends like that...

Maricha75 · 05-09-2012, 12:06 PM

He absolutely is my best friend. I lost sight of that for awhile, but I can honestly say that, even when we weren't communicating so well, we were always there for each other in ways no one else was. I share my secrets, my hopes, my fears...everything with him. If I feel insecure about something, I tell him. If I worry, I tell him. So, yes, he is my friend. He is my best friend. <3