Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?
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Old 05-06-2012, 04:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?

hi All,

This is my first time here. I am currently in a relationship with a russian/greek girl aged 26 - i myself am a 30 year old us&german citizen living the usa.

Soon i will be moving to new york to pursue what many would few as a very lucrative career and will be asking my gf to come with me (we currently live in CA). Although i will be able to support her, it is very important to me that she is independent and is able to grow - while with me. It is for this reason that I am here.

She studied computer science and economics in russia for 5 years and received her degree there. She would like to break into finance in the US but i realize this is very difficult to do unless you are an exceptional caliber international student (am i wrong here?).

I am trying to consider options for her to be successful. The primary barrier will be to find an employer that is willing to sponsor her an H1B visa. I do not know if this route is realistic - and therefore she may require more education.

She is considering taking a 1 year business certification class but i do not think it is worthwhile. What employer would care about a ceritifcate program enough to sponsor an H1B visa? (or am i wrong?).

So one of the thoughts in my mind is that marriage could be used as a tool to solve all of these barriers. She would much easier be able to get a job in finance bc she has a greencard through marriage - and bc she has a greencard she would find it much easier to take loans for further education.

My only worry is that doing so might leave me at severe risk should something go wrong in the relationship. i.e i end up paying X% oif my income and assets to her upon divorce ---> would a pre nup solve this issue?

what do you guys think of using marriage as a means to help her find employment and further her education? It is important because i need her to feel like she is moving forward in life - even though she will be dependent on me during that period.

thanks
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Old 05-06-2012, 08:24 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?

what is she doing now for work?

how is she able to be in the us? what visa is she on?
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Old 05-06-2012, 08:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?

Folks have gotten married for worse reasons. Personally, I wouldn't marry any woman (again) who didn't have a very strong sexual attraction to me and who didn't share my basic values. Jobs come and go. Marriage is forever and that's a very long time, especially if you're miserable.
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Old 05-06-2012, 08:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?

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Originally Posted by unbelievable View Post
Folks have gotten married for worse reasons. Personally, I wouldn't marry any woman (again) who didn't have a very strong sexual attraction to me and who didn't share my basic values. Jobs come and go. Marriage is forever and that's a very long time, especially if you're miserable.
good points, if she just marrying to stay in the us the op could have a big expensive mess to clean up later on.
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Old 05-06-2012, 08:51 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?

Quote:
what do you guys think of using marriage as a means to help her find employment and further her education?
Honestly? I almost felt like laughing when I read your post! Not because it's 'hilarious', but because it's BIZARRE!

Quote:
it is very important to me that she is independent and is able to grow - while with me
Quote:
I am trying to consider options for her to be successful
Quote:
i need her to feel like she is moving forward in life
Have YOU spotted the one consistent pattern in the above 3 quotes? It's all about what YOU WANT for HER? She sounds more like a pet project (favorite hobby) than a GIRLFRIEND! What does SHE want???

Guess what? Your girlfriend managed to get college degrees in Russia WITHOUT YOUR HELP. Your girlfriend managed to move to the USA WITHOUT YOUR HELP. I think she can manage to figure out what she can/should do with her future WITHOUT YOUR HELP.

You wanted advice? Here it is! Move YOURSELF to New York, alone. IF your girlfriend is interested in a relationship with you, SHE WILL COME TO NEW YORK ON HER OWN. She will line up a job (on her own), she will save her money up (on her own), pack her stuff up, and come to New York. She will find a place to live (on her own). This will give you the added benefit of KNOWING that she is NOT just with you for the 'lucrative career' you're embarking on. This will tell you that SHE is in the relationship for YOU...not what she can get out of it financially/citizenship-wise.

By the way,was all this 'looking out for her' cr*p YOUR IDEA or HER IDEA?
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Old 05-06-2012, 09:50 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Considering marriage as a tool for educational/career growth - thoughts?

Marriages of convenience often turn out to be pretty inconvenient.
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