Gaia

If the cow jumps over the moon...




Be sure to milk it immediately afterwards for the BEST tasting milk/ ice cream you will EVER have!!

Gaia

If you see a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater....


You should probably lay off the shrooms...... or RUN!!!!!

Gaia

If anyone else has any AWESOME advice... POST AWAY!!!!

frustr8dhubby

"If at first you don't succeed.."

"You are running about average.."

TBT

A smile increases your face value.

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"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis

CallaLily

"Don't believe everything you read!"

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greenpearl

Having problems in life is normal!

Rob774

When driving through a bad secion of a neighborhood, don't ever get fooled by the "baby on the corner" trick. If you get out your car, you are in more danger than that baby... cause its a TRAP!

---Dave Chappelle.

Chris Taylor

As in life, you can't drive a car looking through the back window.

Mistys dad

Beauty is only skin deep.

But Ugly is to the core.

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The first question should always be, "If it's that bad, why are you still there?

OK, you screwed up, it happens. Now apologize. But apologize just once. Make it loud, clear, short, to the point, and directly to those you trespassed against. Then move on.

Sawney Beane

1) Don't wipe your arse with a wire brush;

2) If it looks like a turd, smells like a turd and is sticky like a turd, the chances are it isn't chocolate ice cream;

3) If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, make sure that you understand the gravity of the situation.

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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal?
Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri?
I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...

COguy

When I was young my grandmother told me, 'If you want to be successful in life; forget about it, because you're a retard.' I'm not sure what she meant but I think it's good advice.

chillymorn

don't pi$$ into the wind.

sh*t in one hand and wish in the other and see wich one fills up first!

getting married for sex is like burning down your house for a peice of toast!