Husband traded my nude photos without consent - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 03:43 AM Thread Starter
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Husband traded my nude photos without consent

I was wondering what your thoughts were on this....sometimes I wonder if I'm over reacting? I've been married nine years to my husband who is an Officer in the Army. During our 9 year marriage he has always looked at porn, but I didn't really mind. I only didn't want him corresponding with people over the internet with regards to sex etc, but over the years he has done that many times. And of course says he won't anymore. He did eventually get an account with adult friendfinder....just to look at porn....not actually looking for sex, he said. He knew that crossed the line and deleted his account when I found out.
Anyway, he was sent to Iraq for 15 months. During which he joined a swingers website, and I didn't know. During his deployment, I sent him nude and very naughty photos of myself. I told him to not let anyone accidently find them. Well, as it turns out he was passing them around to his "friends" that he met on the swingers site. He had been doing this the whole time he was there and I had no clue. He told these people what I would do to them sexually. He even told them my name. He also sent a naughty video that we made when he came home on leave to people that showed my face in it. I found all of this out the night he returned home from Iraq. It was all on his computer. Emails saying that he had new photos of the wifey, and asking if anyone wanted to swap pictures of each others wives. (which he did) He had even saved a picture of some guy jerking off to my pics. To top it off, he sent the last batch of pics out to people the day my son and I were driving to meet up with him. I feel so violated, he knew that those were for his eyes only. He said he will do whatever to keep our marriage together, but I think I am foolish if I stay. Does he have a sex addiction? I wonder if he can change. I know he wants to, but I'm afraid he won't be able too. He could possibly loose his job, and his marriage. He is away at training, and purchased the internet in his room and a porn membership too...again

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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 04:39 AM
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Re: Husband traded my nude photos without consent

Hmmm this is all very interesting, hopefully I can help.

Do you ahve any interest in becomming a swinger at all? Does it raise your curiousity at all?

First, it was wrong for you husband to show these pictures of you to anyone else.

Have him delete all of the photo's completely and any videos of you destroyed.

He has taken his erotic behavior to far. My wife and I ahve sexy pictures and erotic movies of ourselves, with the same stipulation that I do not share them.

I find my wife the sexiest woman on the planet, I am sure your hubby feels the same about you. But since you are not on the same page when it comes to erotica it can be very damaging.

He is in big trouble doing this on a Military computer, he will lose his job over this if caught.

I would first make him delete everything, I would stop taking pics for him and videos.

Can your marriage survive this? that is up to you, depending how much this really bothers you, my wife is a little more open then you are I am assuming. She has showed a few pictures of herself to my friends, but I get approval from her first. While she is not interested in swinging, she seems to like to watch others and be watched, she does like to dress sexy, tease and flirt, she knows I like her flirting and teasing others, but never goes farther then that.

Tell your hubby to leave his fantasies, as that fantasies and not to lead other people on.

need to set some strict boundries and follow them to what is allowable and what is not. My wife has final approval over her pics that are shown to others.

but you have to be comfortable with it and set limits, he has to follow them instead of constantly pushing the envelope
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 04:39 PM
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Re: Husband traded my nude photos without consent

Ummmm yeah, I'd say he's got a problem. This man has lied to you, told he he stopped when he really didn't. Joined adult friend finder, honey, that site is for sex hookups Only... don't let him tell you otherwise. You caught him, so he lied. did he intend to cheat on you? I don't know, but after all he's done, Yeah, I would say he's got a serious problem, when he's showing videos, and pictures of his OWN wife, to all his military buddies, and swinger sights.

My God... I cant' believe some people. I would be LIVID if my husband did that to me. And if you expressly told him that you didn't want Anyone else to see those pics, or that video, then yes, showing it to Anyone, was a serious violation of your trust, your body, and your marriage.

You know, you shouldn't even have to tell your own husband, "hey by the way, don't show my pics to anyone okay?"

It's just a Given. He not only showed them to friends, and let them masturbate to them, he also put them Online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is pimping his own wife out, without her permission.

Not to mention the Lies he's told you. I would have left a long time ago. Sorry, but that kind of sick, twisted behavior, taking photos of your naked wife and letting your buddies jack off to them, or putting them on the internet. That's a deal breaker, and I'd never trust my man again.

Also, the adult friend finder, and other sites he's into, are not typical of a faithful husband, or wife.

I'd leave him behind if I were you. He will most likely do this kind of thing again. yeah, sex addiction is an understatement.

It's not as though you were in to all this, and wanted him to share your naked pics with everyone, and wanted him to show videos of yo uhaving sex, that show your face. This is Unforgivable in my book. Especially because he has done it so many times. That is just my opinion.

Anastasia, make no mistake, men that respect their wives, don't do this kind of thing to them, not without their Express permission, and consent.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-20-2009, 12:12 AM
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Re: Husband traded my nude photos without consent

With Marina on her last statement.

Dude needs counseling for his behavior, if you are not ont eh same page, this could be a deal breaker.
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