General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Nothing wrong with GNO---but---why does it have to be to a meat market
Why can't it be dinner and the movies, why can't it be a race track, or a casino----or a sporting event----or a card party, or dinner, and an art exhibit, or musical event---or a play
Nothing wrong with going out---but you can cut out, most of the problems, if you strongly suggest no meat market
There are so many legit. things to do, that do not encompass---having men hit on your wife----if your wife is repeatedly going to GNO, that is a meat market---then yes you should put in a very strong complaint---cuz she is putting her self in harm's way---and if something happens, and these women do not have each other's back----your life will never be the same---that is if you are even able to find out!!!!!!
I have a co-worker now who is constantly under the influence of the GNO/meat market crowd.
Says she "doesn't like it"... it's "not her scene"... but she goes anyway. So, perhaps it is her scene.
Weird thing is that she talks about her friends and freely confesses they are idiots. One of them screwed a married guy and got burned. Who would have thought that?
This person - of course - positions herself as an expert on relationships. Gives of her wisdom freely and is wrong on damned near everything. Yet, she wields a certain influence with my co-worker.
In the same way it's difficult for women to grasp what sexual fulfillment actually means to a man, I think it's difficult for men to grasp what attracting attention means to a woman.
Perhaps the whole meat market thing is peer pressure?
Looking for some perspective here. When my wife goes out with her other married female friends for dinner and/or drinks she usually gets dresses up and looks pretty damn hot. She says its only for her friends and that women are different like that and basically dress up for each other and not to impress guys at the bar. Is this normally true ladies? I gotta believe part of it is wanting to get hit on by guys but she denies it.
Believe it or not, some women like to look nice when they go out. Crazy, huh?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jealoushubby
My 2nd question is what are other married peoples opinion on flirting.
Flirting with your spouse, ok. Flirting with other people, no way.
I think what it comes down to is if the woman does not have enough self control and personal boundaries to turn down the advances of a player while on a GNO, she won't be able to turn down such an advance in any other venue (the workplace, soccer games, business trips, parties, etc.).
It's not the venue or situation that matters, but how that person reacts and makes choices in such situations. Posted via Mobile Device
I think what it comes down to is if the woman does not have enough self control and personal boundaries to turn down the advances of a player while on a GNO, she won't be able to turn down such an advance in any other venue (the workplace, soccer games, business trips, parties, etc.).
It's not the venue or situation that matters, but how that person reacts and makes choices in such situations. Posted via Mobile Device
Bandit My Man,
You think peer pressure has anything to do with accepting those sorts of advances?
Just like FB isn't the cause of broken relationships.
It's the person. If a woman wants to skank out and use the excuse of GNO to do it, thats what it is. An excuse. Something to blame, when the blame is solely on her and her lack of moral judgement.
You think peer pressure has anything to do with accepting those sorts of advances?
If a man or a woman exposes themselves to toxic friends long enough? Yes.
My wife is a perfect example. She is out nearly every weekend with her group of cougar girlfriends fishing for young men. She didn't start doing this until I kicked her out after DDay, but I can imagine she has been under their negative influence for years. Shame on me for not intervening long ago.
If a man or a woman exposes themselves to toxic friends long enough? Yes.
My wife is a perfect example. She is out nearly every weekend with her group of cougar girlfriends fishing for young men. She didn't start doing this until I kicked her out after DDay, but I can imagine she has been under their negative influence for years. Shame on me for not intervening long ago.
Total agreement.
This whole notion that who you associate with is irrelevant if you are a "strong person"?
We like to look hot because men look at us and we get affirmation that we are hot. If you have a good relationship then this will work in your favor. When we feel hot- we get horny.
We like to look hot because men look at us and we get affirmation that we are hot. If you have a good relationship then this will work in your favor. When we feel hot- we get horny.
Then is it ok for us to do that??? Get a haircut, put on some cologne and a nice outfit, go out with the guys to the meatmarket.
Let a woman buy us a drink or three, do a little flirting and then come home aroused and expect sex???
I think what it comes down to is if the woman does not have enough self control and personal boundaries to turn down the advances of a player while on a GNO, she won't be able to turn down such an advance in any other venue (the workplace, soccer games, business trips, parties, etc.).
It's not the venue or situation that matters, but how that person reacts and makes choices in such situations. Posted via Mobile Device
Couldn't say it better!
The thing is that there are flirty men/women everywhere you go, at your work-place, at the coffee bar ... let alone in a nightclub.
So, the problem is the spouse who doesn't know how to keep the distance and respect the boundaries that he/she have put together with the other spouse.
Outsiders are there to "ruin" your marriage/relationship. You are the one who should tell them to back off.
There are gonna be PUA, everywhere----even what one might consider the safest places---but your spouse is not "out and out", putting themselves in harms way, as in going to a bar, where there is drinking, dancing, even drugs, everywhere.
Why do people go to meatmarkets---to hook-up---only reason---sure there are those that go to unwind and have one or two drinks, and go home---but that isn't a GNO--IS IT?????---the GNO--is later on, when the PUA, are in full sway----
you trust your wife, if there have been no problems---but you know da*n well---mix a little alcohol, maybe some drugs---do a little bump and grind on the dance floor---get some attention---and believe me---the PUA, who are there---KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING-----and tho your spouse may have the strongest resolve---the lines all get blurred----guess what---BINGO----Nuclear Winter---family destroyed---kids lives wrecked----Do not tell me it doesn't happen---cuz you all know it does, and these forums are full of mge's destroyed by ONS's, or meet-ups with a guy---under the guise of a GNO
I know my wife---goes out to dinner, with her friends, after going to the race track, and when she is staying over---and there is a bar at the restaurant---and there are PUA---everywhere---and I wonder---but as many of you have said---you can't lock your spouse up, and you have to trust them
Your relationship will determine, your spouse's attitude when they go to a bar----and you can only hope that the boundaries hold, after the alcohol starts flowing----but these kinds of events are maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and they are never at the same place---so she would never see the same PUA.
If your wife---is doing this on a regular basis---at a bar, dance joint---then you need to draw your line in the sand---married spouses do not do this kind of thing---they have obligations to their family, and carousing around in meatmarkets---is way out of line!!!!!!!!
1. My exH is a management consultant and I understood how important networking was. sometimes I went with him to Friday night happy hours and sometimes not. The first time he came home with not a whiff of alcohol on his breath, that's when I knew I had a problem.
2. I'm not sure what's meant by dressing up. It's quite often that I wear casual skirts and dresses anyway. So my going to a bar or a pub or a dance bar, I probably would not be dressed any differently.
3. Here in London, when groups have activities, to see a film, hear a lecture whatever, the group usually repairs to a pub. So if someone sees those as meat markets, well, so be it.
4. As far as receiving free drinks from men,there's an interesting irony that I have experienced. both from my exH who liked buying rounds for other people and I guess he assumed that since he was buying rounds for other men's partners that some guy in the group would take up the slack and buy a drink for me. Didn't always happen that way.
And in the early days with my bf, he neglected to offer to buy me a drink at a key moment -- as I was introducing him to my friends. But then a couple weeks later, as we went to see a film and then to the pub afterwards --he was late actually, another guy bought me a drink and he actually got upset about it. Oh well.
5. My opinion about BNOs and GNOs in general, in principle they're ok. But like everything else, trust your gut. but they better damned sure make it home that night.
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Re: questions about "girls night out" 
