General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
All of the men in the library, at church, and at the grocery store also all want to bang me.
WOW! I have NEVER seen a chick in a minidress grinding her crotch into a strange man's thigh at church or the library. I need to move to your town.
OK. I'll admit that some women go to meat markets to dance in a man-free bubble. Why can't you women admit that A LOT of bad s.h.i.t goes down at these places? I swear, we won't tell your husbands they aren't the equivalent of a middle school dance. Why can't you be HONEST about it? Why can't yo admit that A LOT of women behave in ways they WOULD NOT want their husbands to witness. And they continue to do it because gals like you continue singing the chorus that it'a ALL innocent.
What do you do now? I dunno....take her shopping for some hot clothes you approve of for GNO? There's hot and there's slvtty. However, if your wife is going to cheat, she'll do it in sweats. Doesn't matter.
Take her shopping? That's too cruel ... I'll take my chances.
Seriously, my wife has almost always been a conservative dresser and the only time she gone out dressed "over the top" was at my request and when she was with me. I really don't think she would dress in a fashion that would make me uncomfortable and would respect my wishes if I asked her to "tone it down".
In the end, I think it's all about the OP's wife having enough respect for her husband to understand when her attire is making him uncomfortable and respect his wishes, after all, she's not single any more. Conversely, he should be reasonable in his expectations (and he seemed to be). One hand washes the other.
And your right, if she was going to cheat, it really doesn't matter what she wears, but that's another story.
I can't admit it because I haven't go to those types of places in almost 20 years. When I did go with friends, we were all single. Sure, things like that happened with them, but we were single. Who cares.
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WOW! I have NEVER seen a chick in a minidress grinding her crotch into a strange man's thigh at church or the library.
If your wife or gf is doing this, well, she's not honorable and has NO respect for you or your relationship.
You should come to one of my GNOs. You'd see a couple chicks sitting there, lookin cute, in their own little bubble, singing karaoke like fools and laughing a LOT. We also bring up our husbands if men try to talk to us. With smiles.
"Hey, how are you tonight?"
"I'm awesome...I married a wonderful man...how are you?"
They get the message.
But if your spouse or SO can't respect you enough to not grind on other men, then to hell with her. THAT is not GNO. That's "ima a hoochie and I need my girls around me while I hooch."
Yes. Anyone who tells me GNO's can never be toxic to a marriage needs to hear it.
No one can any more say that it will NEVER be toxic to a relationship than you can realistically say that it will ALWAYS be toxic to a relationship. Posted via Mobile Device
And what is usually involved in getting free drinks? You MUST know that you have NEVER been bought a drink by a man that didn't want to screw you. You seem to be OK with that. Is your husband?
News flash: People are everywhere, not just at "meat markets" (which, by the way, I'm still waiting to see defined...is it ANYplace with a large percentage of alcohol sales?). So, anywhere your wife goes, she may be approached by a "man who wants to screw her." You can't police the thoughts of others. Simply avoiding certain establishments will not magically make her undesirable. The most important factor is her response.
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I DO NOT UNDERSTAND why there are people that will not admit that nightclubs are a very dangerous place for women to be when they are married. Even women with the PUREST of intentions have "drunken mistakes".
Why won't you all admit that?
Because we disagree. While such environments might present challenges, your assumptions that all women who go out drinking with friends are prowling to cheat and/or find themselves helpless in the face of men's advances is both disingenuous and a bit insulting. Posted via Mobile Device
Yeesh, from some of the men here it sounds like they have boundaries thatg are a little over the top. Some in here have said what is the point of gno, why not have that fun with their h? So let me get this straight, no pint in gno, and I'm assuming you don't want her having male friends... is she supposed to only ever go out and about with you? No friends at all? Sheesh Posted via Mobile Device
Marriage friendly GNOs. Girls Night Out involving her femlae friends. No drunken escapades with other men.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
She's being truthful, women really do just dress up for each other. Our culture socializes us to be competitive with one another, and pop culture also emphasizes that we need to be "hot" to be worthwhile human beings.
So, we dress hot to one-up each other and feel good about ourselves. The free drinks are mostly just a bonus.
A woman of real value would not bow to this crapola. You are rationalizing low class behavior on some vague notion that you are powerless to act because someone named Pop Culture says you have to.
If you are too poor to buy your own drinks you are too poor to be there to begin with. Being a "by me drinkie girl" getting attention from a guy buying you drinks is pathetic at best. You are selling yourself to get a drink. Please have some self respect.
I hope you are just very very young.
And if you need further incentive to clean up your act read this post :
This is what we are talking about. You are very lonely and not getting attention at home so you go seeking attention from other men. Is your husband really ok with this?
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 06-25-2012 at 08:22 PM.
Yeesh, from some of the men here it sounds like they have boundaries thatg are a little over the top. Some in here have said what is the point of gno, why not have that fun with their h? So let me get this straight, no pint in gno, and I'm assuming you don't want her having male friends... is she supposed to only ever go out and about with you? No friends at all? Sheesh Posted via Mobile Device
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
No crap they all want to bang me, I'm young and hot. All of the men in the library, at church, and at the grocery store also all want to bang me.
My husband is also hot, and all the ladies wanna do him. It's part of us being sexy, we can't help it.
And yes, my husband knows I usually drink for free. We're broke so he doesn't care too much. He knows he's always invited to come with if he wants to, he just doesn't really like the dive bars I like.
Men generally back off when I tell them I'm married. If they don't, well, that's why I keep my ***** hand strong fools! I've punched guys in the face at bars before. The result is usually the bouncer coming over to drag the dude I punched in the face out of the bar.
Wow, you remind me why I think my husband is so awesome.
How many guys have you had to punch out at the library, church or the grocery store for feeling you up and not taking no for an answer? Rhetorical question. If you have to do that there too you are putting out the vibe.
If you husband is all for you playing these games then go for it. Your husband will just have to learn the hard way. Maybe he will post here.
But ultimately whether you cross any boundaries or not for many men their wives doing this stuff is flat disrespectful whether you cheat or not. Putting yourself out their to play this game with men at all is crossing a boundary for many.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 06-26-2012 at 06:17 AM.
While such environments might present challenges, your assumptions that all women who go out drinking with friends are prowling to cheat and/or find themselves helpless in the face of men's advances is both disingenuous and a bit insulting.
I dunno... when I have to work late with my female coworker, I insist that we work at a restaurant or some other place at my wife's request. I do this as a courtesy to my wife, not because I'm helpless to her advances.
My thing has always been GNO at a bar. Anywhere else but a bar, lol. Her friends go out once a month, each month to a new place. When it is a bar, she skips it out of respect for me.
The best part is, when my work is over, I call her and we eat out at the restaurant together. When GNO is at a bar, we get an extra date night. Turns a potential negative into a huge positive!
Works for us. At some point it has a lot less to do with the odds of cheating and a lot more to do with simple respect for a spouse.
I work with mostly women.
I have been to and seen these " Girls night Out " parties in clubs and sport bars....
Not " marriage friendly " at all....
The last one I attended was an " after work lime." to celebrate a MARRIED WOMAN'S birthday. She was a supervisor with a company we do business with. I know her husband,he was not there.[ He is a techie who handles our systems] Another man was there.[ OM] she got so drunk that she couldn't walk.
Her " FRIENDS " let OM take her home.
Today she has a child for OM, serious marital problems, [ OM is a different race to husband] , and she lost her job.
All her " FRIENDS" are still employed with the company, and enjoying their lives.
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Re: questions about "girls night out" 
No problem with that today....still in jammies.
